It's a Puppet's Life
by Marie Nomad
Summary: Set after ‘A Different Type of Shanshu’, Angel adapts to his new life as a puppet at the school for slayers. I am redoing the past two chapters for a different storyline. Don't worry, the Parody Play will go on as a separate story.
1. A Day in the Life of Puppet Angel

This fic takes place after 'Not Fading Away'. I was reading the transcripts for that episode and I figured that signing anything involving one's destiny would cause major conflicts. This is what I think might happen. All characters belong to Josh Whedon, WB, and UPN. I am not making any money from this. Charmed characters belong to Aaron Spellman and WB.

Rating: PG

Summary: Set after 'A Different Type of Shanshu', Angel adapts to his new life as a puppet.

Warning: None yet.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part One

By Marie Nomad

The sun rose as the alarm rang. Angel yawned as he slammed his hand on the off button and hopped out of bed. He made his bed and got dressed for the new day. It had been a long time since he was actually eager to greet the day. Before, he loathed the thought of dealing with demons that he should kill on a regular basis, meeting with demons he want to kill on a regular basis, and the mountains of paperwork he had to sign in blood. He even had Harmony as a secretary who was such a ditz that she couldn't figure out how to be evil. Now, he was part of something good. He was going to do some actual good supporting future generations of heroes and slayers and making sure the world was safe.

It had been a month since he had arrived at the Academy for Gifted Girls at the new Hellmouth in Cleveland, Ohio. It wasn't much of a typical academy since some of the classes were 'demonology', 'surviving in alternate dimensions', and his favorite 'vampire history'. Everyone had called it 'Slaywarts'. It was a girl's academy where Slayers go to get their training. The training schedule was different for every girl. Some girls didn't go to school so they get to go there all year around and get credit. They were the ones who can travel to different places if they are needed and be bodyguards. Others had normal lives that they wanted to keep so Watchers train them with them coming to the academy during the summer. There are even Internet courses for those who don't want to leave home and try to tell their parents they are superheroes.

Angel picked up his backpack and walked out of the door for his breakfast. He would have been content if it weren't for one small thing.

"Hey, Puppetboy!" Xander greeted as he walked passed Angel.

"Hey, Xander." Angel said as he nodded back.

"The new students are coming today. Ready?" Xander dared as he hunched down to his eyelevel. Angel glared at him. The only thing that bothered him was his puppet status. Every time he meets someone, their reaction had been 'He's so cute', a few just stared in shock, one actually asked how much he cost, that guy really got beaten up. Add his puppetness to the fact that he had to teach groups of super strong slightly confused teenage girls and he had an interesting situation on his cloth hands.

"I'll be fine." Angel insisted. "Besides, I thought you are going to Paris."

"Nah, that's last week. I'm going to Arizona to help out a new Slayer." Xander said as he shrugged. Angel was amazed that Xander was now a Watcher. He could still remember back when Xander was just this annoying guy who hated him with a passion. Now, their relationship is somewhat better, since Angel was no longer a vampire threat, Xander somewhat accepted him. He shouldn't be surprised at Xander's changes; Wes and Cordy had both changed and showed it in the end.

"Good luck. Don't give the Slayer too easy of a time." Angel said as he saluted and went to the cafeteria.

He picked up a tray and got his food. He loaded it with donuts, cookies, cupcakes, and pancakes and walked over to the table where Gunn was sitting eating his breakfast while looking over his paperwork.

"Hey, Gunn." Angel said as he put the tray up and reached into his backpack getting out his special seat and put it down.

"Hey." Gunn said as he paused and looked at the tray. "You're going to eat all of that? Your stomach is bigger than your head, literally."

Angel shrugged as he sat down and started eating. He could eat anything he wants but he found it easier to eat sweets rather than vegetables. According to Dr. Pincho, the Academy's healer and expert in demonic physiology, he doesn't need to worry about gaining weight and he can eat sugar better than any other food. "I need to eat. Anyway, are you catching up on your paperwork again?"

"Yeah. Who would think that firm could give us something that the Slaywarts could use?" Gunn said as he ate his apple with one hand and writing notes in the other. It turned out that the Council and Slaywarts needed someone with his talents. They needed someone to deal with all of the complexities of human and demon law for lawsuits, changes, and other things. He also had to figure out how to get things through customs whenever something was found in the ruins when Willow can't teleport them through. He also trained every day before dawn and sneak out to dust a vampire or two. He had been a very busy lawyer.

"Yeah." Angel started eating. As always, a few onlookers watched in interest at the puppet. He ignored them as he always did. No matter how much his co-workers and students had been through, they tend to just stare at him. "Have you seen Buffy today?"

"Yeah, she's on another expedition trip."

"Oh. Where is she going?" Buffy had a unique role in the school. Officially, she was the counselor for the academy, but she was also a trainer, role model, and gatherer of Slayers. As a result, she had been very busy.

"Somewhere in the East Coast, I think. She'll be fine. She's the oldest Slayer."

"She's not that old!" Angel snapped as he started to eat again.

"Well, older compared to the other slayers. She's what, 24?"

If he could move his eyelids, he would've blinked. "Oh."

Gunn smirked as he put the paper away. "You still have something for her, don't you?"

"I… I don't know what you're talking about." Angel looked away.

"You know, for a guy who had been evil for a hundred years, you're a lousy liar." Gunn pointed out. It was no secret that Angel and Buffy had shared something years ago. It was a favorite gossip about the vampires and the slayer, a form of forbidden romance that just tugged at the heartstrings. He wasn't one of those types but he knew what kind of romantic history the puppet had.

"Oooh! I gotta go." Angel said as he looked at his watch and ran off.

Gunn shook his head again. "His life is like a bad TV soap opera."

**XXX**

Her name was Jennifer Van Denstra. She used to be a normal sixteen year old with light brown hair and green eyes. It was five months ago that she felt strange. She started to get weird cramps, she had dreams about vampires attacking her, she needed less sleep, and she could benchpress over a hundred pounds. Then, vampires started to attack her out of the blue and she actually survived being bitten by them. It was then that a blond named Buffy visited her and told her about her power, her destiny as a vampire slayer. After talking with her parents, she agreed to go to school at the Academy for Gifted Girls.

Now, she and several other girls were waiting in the class room for their first class with a Mr. Angel. Everyone knew about Angel and his past especially about the romance between Angel and Buffy and Buffy and Spike and there were rumors of Angel and Spike.

Jennifer looked around at her classmates. They were like her, normal, anxious, and yet different. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they are destined to save others from the undead. The bell rang and a man's voice called out, "Class! Please sit down."

The group looked behind them and then looked down to see a three foot tall puppet dressed in a gray jumpsuit. "A puppet?" Megan said as her jaw dropped.

"Yes, I'm a puppet and your teacher. The first girl to call me 'cute' will get a thousand pushups." Angel said as he walked forward in a straight manner. "Now, first, let me tell you that I won't be easy. What you will be doing is life threatening even with your powers. I am not soft." He paused and added, "Mentally. I'm not soft mentally. Line up and we will start on your breathing exercises. Now, watch me." He saw that everyone was still gawking at him. He shook and yelled, "NOW!"

At once, the girls jumped and started. First, Angel told them how to breathe correctly. Granted, he haven't breathed in over two hundred years but he read the books. "In and out…"

The class continued for an hour they got through the basics quickly. Angel nodded as he watched them. Part of the Slayer's power was their ability to learn martial arts and other fighting styles fast.

"Not bad. Okay, now we can practice sparing." Angel went into fighting position. "Show me what you have. Who's brave enough to fight the 'wee puppet man'?"

Susan, a tall blond with green eyes stepped forward. "I'll go."

"Good."

Susan was thinking what everyone else was thinking. She couldn't help but think how easy the puppet will be. The slayer ran up and tried to grab him only to get air. The puppet flipped backwards and landed on her back. He bit her with his felt mouth and Susan's jaw dropped.

"Congratulations, you're dead." Angel said as he released his grip and fell to the ground.

"What?" Susan said as she felt her neck there was no mark or anything like that. In fact, it just tickled.

The puppet let out a quick breath and said, "You're going to be trained to fight vampires. Vampires bite and drink the blood. They crave blood all the time. Slayers blood is… well, let's just say that human blood is coffee and slayer blood is cappuccino. Vampires love to drink slayer blood so when you face vampires, they think 'lunchtime'. They may also try to turn you into a vampire which is much worse, believe me. So, you must learn to watch your necks, in every manner of the word." Angel explained in a confident tone of voice. He felt right in this role.

"How do you know that?" Jennifer asked as she raised her hand.

Angel turned away with his hands behind his back and replied, "Personal experience. But, enough about me, we got work to do. Next." He turned around waiting for next victim err… student.

**XXX**

"Ow…" Angel limped as he walked down the hall after the self defense class. He wasn't hurt since he was built to be hit a lot but a few stitches in his leg snapped and it made it hard to walk. The new students were inexperienced but very tough. With the right training, they might be able to live long lives.

After a while, he finally reached the home economics room where Ms. Kendall was teaching. Ms. Kendal was a middle aged woman who was saved by Buffy in Sunnydale. The slightly older woman glanced up to see Angel. "Mr. Angel!" She said as she came up and looked at him. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, just popped a few stitches training." Angel said as the woman closed the door. "My leg mostly."

"Okay. Let me stitch that up for you." Ms. Kendal picked up the puppet and took him to her sewing room. Ms. Kendal was a master clothesmaker and became Angel's 'doctor' so to speak. He tried to patch himself up but with his clumsy fingers, he could barely hold the needle.

Angel calmly removed his pants as Ms. Kendal got out her needle and thread. "You know, you really should not teach Self Defense. Those girls are very strong."

"I taught the beginner's class and I am careful. Besides, I taught the art class too." Angel argued as Ms. Kendal kept on sewing.

"True, but there's only so much I can patch up. None of us know the full extent of your… puppet power yet."

"I know, but, I want to be a good help to Buffy and the others." Angel confessed as he looked down. "I can't fight like this, I know that but I want to do what I can."

"I know." Ms. Kendra finished her sewing. "There are other ways to help other than fighting or training to fight. Just be careful."

"Okay." Angel got off of the table and walked to his office. He have some time until the next class. Maybe, he can make a phone call.

**XXX**

Buffy stared at the map and then at the signs. As a 'recruiter', she was used to traveling to vast and exotic lands but she still didn't like it. She passed an alley and then a pair of hands grabbed her. In a blink of an eye, Buffy twisted away and kicked her assailant in the chest. He flew back and several more thugs joined in. The woman went into position and studied them. By the sunlight on them, she could tell that they were just human. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today." Buffy said as she ran up and punched the second one.

At that moment, her cell phone rang. Buffy took a breath and answered it, "Hello?"

"Hey, Buffy."

Buffy smiled as she felt her arm being wrapped by a chain, she jerked the chain and the man forward. "Hey, Angel." Another thug came up and slashed at her. She dodged down and knocked the knife out of his hand.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Buffy shook her head as she leapt high onto the fire escape and scared the thugs away. "No, I was just finishing up dealing with some locals."

"Oh. Human?"

"Yeah. So, why are you calling?" Buffy asked as she walked out of the alley leaving behind a group of moaning men.

"Oh, I was just checking on you. I mean, making sure you were okay. And all."

"Uh huh." Buffy nodded. Every time she goes off on a trip, Angel tends to call her at least once a day just to make sure she was all right. Not that she didn't need help, most of the worse demons are gone and any vampire she could handle. "So, how's the class?"

"Fine, fine. I was just done. They were giggling at first until I fought them one on one. They're strong but I handled them."

"Did you get the stuffing knocked out of you?" Buffy asked as she leaned against the wall and smiled.

"Well, not this time. I had to refluff myself a little and maybe get a couple of stitches but that's it. It keeps me busy. I kinda… I miss you."

"Well, maybe you can come with me next time."

"I… I can't. You know that." His voice sounded pained. His new puppet form prevented him from going out on his own. After all, what kind of puppet moves around on it's own?

"We'll see." Buffy said as she glanced around. "I have to go now. Don't to be too soft on them."

"Bye. I… take care." Angel hung up.

Buffy took a deep breath and closed her cell phone. "You too."

**XXX**

Angel hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. Even without his vampire hearing, he could hear Buffy fighting off a gang. He wasn't worried; after all, she dealt with vampires, demons, and even a werewolf or two. The only ones who should worry was the gang. He chuckled to himself. Buffy was never a damsel in distress, which was what he loved about her.

He checked himself for any loose stitches, put on his smock and barrette and walked down to the art room. "Hi, Angel." Fred said as she came up to him. "Awww… I mean, getting ready for art class?"

"Yup. Where's Illyria?" Angel asked as he walked beside her form. Despite the fact that Fred can go out without her 'body', she tends to hang out with Illyria.

"Oh, she and Spike are sparring in the dark room again." Fred winced as she held her head. "Wow, she will feel that tomorrow."

"Are you okay?" The puppet asked concerned.

"Oh yeah. Yeah. I can sense what is going on with her but I don't feel her pain. It's just… kinda freaky like something out of the Twilight Zone watching me fight Spike and winning again." Fred said as she waved her hand. "How long did it take you to get used to being dead?"

Angel pondered. "I don't know. I was a soulless evil monster so being dead didn't bother me."

"Oh right." Fred smiled again and then stared out. "Ria's done with her sparring session. I have to go now. See you for lunch." She waved and vanished in a flash of light.

Angel stared at the spot and tilted his head. "I will never get used to that." He sighed as he walked to the art room where his other students were. Unlike his first class, these students were there for a few days and weren't as shocked to have a puppet for a teacher.

"Ummm… Mr. Angel, can I have a smock to protect my costume?" Ester said as she came up. She was dressed in a modified nun's uniform. Except for the fact that her skirt was knee high and her outfit was light blue. Along her arms were wooden crosses, and a bible at her side. Several of the slayerettes started wearing costumes to make themselves stand out and to hide their identities. He didn't mind that but he had to question some of the costumes the girls had decided to wear.

"How many times, have I told you to change before art class?" Angel said as he handed the girl a smock. Then, he looked to see a few other girls were also wearing costumes and looking embarrassed. "Go and get your smocks too."

He got up onto a stepladder and said, "Today, we're going to be doing self portraits, get a mirror and paint yourself."

Angel watched as his students started their assignment and then he got out his mirror. He never did feel comfortable about seeing his puppet image in the mirror. The last time he saw himself in the mirror was his last day at Wolfram and Hart. The evil lawfirm had special necro reflective mirrors that can cast his reflection. Although, he found it hard look himself in the mirror with him running something evil. Now, he has his own reflection but it was a cute puppet reflection. He shook the brooding out of his head. He can't brood, brooding is bad. After he shanshued (sort of) he promised to cut back on the brooding.

"Self esteem is for everyone…" He sang softly to himself as he started to paint. He glanced up to see the students looking at him. "Go to work." He ordered as he turned back to his painting.

**XXX**

After changing into his blue shirt and black pants, Angel walked down the stairs into the deeper parts of the academy. It was restricted for personnel for good reason. Here, there are spells, weapons, and even cleaning supplies stashed away. He went up to a door and punched in the password.

The door opened and he asked, "May I come in?"

"Yeah."

Angel peeked in to see a teenage girl with scars down her face and her long brown hair matted down her back. The room was bright yellow with pictures and stuffed animals all around. Everything about it was made just for this one slayer. "Hello, Dana. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Dana said as she sat on her bean bag chair. "The meds have been controlling the urges and the power. Been watching TV. I… I don't know why you're even doing this."

"Because I want to help." Angel said as he sat down beside her. Ever since he came to the academy, he had been visiting Dana at least once a day. He felt responsible for her after putting so much into capturing her when he was with Wolfram and Hart. He also felt empathy for her, she didn't ask to be tortured and get confusing slayer powers. She was just a victim turned murderer.

"I'm beyond help."

"No one is beyond help. You just have to pull yourself together and get going into a bright future." Angel spouted off. The puppet shook his head. He was going into optimistic puppet mode again. Before, he had two modes, Angel awkward mode, and Angel vicious vampire mode. After he lost his vampire power, he had gained a new 'TV cartoon Angel mode' and he had to wonder if he will end up being permanently a puppet in his mind.

"You're very nice for a hallucination." Dana said as she smiled slightly.

Angel sighed as he nodded. The poor girl still couldn't distinguish fantasy from reality and she knew it. He had been down that road, after spending three months at the bottom of the sea with nothing to drink and no communication with anyone. He had doubted he was rescued until he had some blood in his system. "I'm real."

Dana picked him up and hugged him. With any other person, except for Buffy, he would have pushed her away. She sobbed as Angel patted her shoulders. "There there, let it all out."

**XXX**

Angel sighed in relief as he started eating his lunch. All this moving around was making him hungry again. He loaded up his tray with cookies, candy, soda, and a salad just for extra. He came up to the table where Illyria, Fred, and Spike were eating. Well, Illyria was eating, Fred was read, and Spike was drinking blood. 'The Three Undead' as the students had started to call them. Fred was the sweet sensitive but ghostly one. Spike was the brash yapping vampire. Illyria was the one who acts superior.

Spike smirked as he looked down at Angel. "Well, lookie here, it's the Puppet Poof."

Angel scowled at him and sat in front of Fred. "Nice to see you too, Spike." He said as he started to eat.

He looked at Illyria who was eating tacos. It was one of the few things she actually ate; now that her power had changed she needed food. Of course, she would never admit it. "How's the tacos, Illyria?"

"It is… good." Illyria replied as she paused in her eating. "This eating is enjoyable, especially tacos."

"I know." Fred closed her eyes. "They taste so good. Oh, how are the new students? I heard that you were giving them a hard time."

"Just the usual. I had to get their attention so they won't see me as soft. It's the way I teach." Angel replied as he started on some candy.

"Oh yeah. The Poof is a real good teacher. Angelus had taught us everything about being evil. He trained us, killed our first victims with us, and even gave us pop quizzes on torture methods and likely victims." Spike recalled as he sipped on his blood.

"Pop quizzes?" Fred repeated, "I didn't know that there were pop quizzes back then."

"All right, now that was evil." A young woman said as she sat down next to Angel who was fidgeting. She had dark brown hair with equally brown eyes. She was dressed in a red business suit. "Mind if I sit here?"

"No, go ahead." Angel said as he gestured. "Who are you?"

"Oh. I'm Paige Mathews, I'm the Headmistress of the Magic School. I'm a little new at this sort of thing so I thought I could visit this place. Get some pointers. 'Slaywarts' eh?" Paige said as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, it's a nickname." Angel said and then Paige looked at Angel, Illryia and Spike and then at Spike's blood.

She rubbed her neck and said, "I'm guessing that you guys aren't really human."

"No, not really." Fred said as she smiled at her. "I'm Fred, a ghost sort of, this is Illyria, she was a god, that man drinking blood is Spike, he's a vampire."

"Oh, I would never have guessed." Paige said as she held up a cross, "Just keep your fangs away from me, blondie. I've been turned into a vampire once in my life and I don't want to go through that again."

"Don't worry, I'm on a diet." Spike held up his hands. "Pork/otter blood for me." He paused. "You was a vampire?"

"Yeah, I was. Thankfully, the vampire that sired me was vanquished before I had my first 'meal'." Paige recalled as she thought of the time she was close to becoming a vampire. Then, she looked at Angel. "You don't look like any demon I had ever met."

"My name is Angel and I'm not a demon, not any more. It's complicated." Angel waved his hand and looked away.

"Peaches screwed up his shanshu and became a puppet." Spike spouted off.

"Or not and I did not screw up my shanshu!" Angel glared at the vampire. It seems like that every chance he got, Spike made fun at him for messing up his chance for humanity and had to be content with his… puppetity. At least, he had his shanshu, sort of.

"What's a shanshu?" Paige asked as she became interested in the conversation.

Angel sighed. "It's… a stupid prophesy. I stopped believing in that sort of thing a long time ago."

Paige looked at him and asked, "What kind of prophesy is it?"

"It's… complicated. Let's just say that I am better off as this than my other choice." Angel waved off. He was not interested in trying to explain the complicated aspects of his life to a stranger, even if she was willing to help him with his condtion.

"Not much." Spike chuckled.

Paige couldn't help but feel sorry for the puppet. She always had a softness for puppets. "Well, maybe I can find a way to help you straighten out this shanshu thing. Me and my sisters are superwitches and we can get you on the road to being human."

Angel's face lit up as he jumped on Paige's lap and hugged her. "Thank you so much!"

"You're… welcome." The witch patted the puppet on the head while smiling uncomfortably.

The puppet pulled himself away and sat back onto his chair. "Ehh… sorry. Puppet hormones."

Paige looked at Fred and asked, "Do puppets even have hormones?"

"We're still working on that question."

"Oh." All of a sudden, a cell phone rang. Angel, Illyria, Spike, and Paige looked at their cell phones and the witch held up hers. "Mine." She answered it. "Yeah? What? Another demon?! Okay, sure. I'll be there as soon as I can." She hung up and sighed, "Demon attack again. You better call us so we can help you. I hope you don't mind." Paige reached into her purse and handed him a business card.

"Not at all. This can wait. Demons attacking can't. Do you need help?" Angel said as he accepted the business card.

"Nah, we got it. I better go." Paige glowed and vanished in a swirl of blue lights leaving the group speechless.

**XXX**

Buffy sat at the table drinking some cappuccino with some genuine New York food in the form of some kind of ultra deluxe pretzel. Just as she bit in, the phone rang. The girl answered and said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Buffy, it's me. Am I interrupting any muggings?"

"Not right now. I'm just having a snack." Buffy said as she smirked. "New York is not that dangerous."

"Yeah, well, anyway, I just wanted to call to tell you that I found someone who can help me. She's this super powerful witch named Paige. She would've helped me right now but she had to deal with a demon attack."

"That's great! I'm glad that you could find some help with your… problem." Buffy said as she leaned back. She didn't want to admit that while she loved Puppet Angel, she missed her tall dark and handsome Angel. "How strong is she?"

"Well, she teleported in some bluish whitish light without chanting and with ease so she must be strong." Angel replied.

"Yeah. When are you going to see her?"

"Kinda depends on the schedule. I think she's pretty busy with this Magic School and demon vanquishing. I don't want her to interrupt anything important just for me."

Buffy rolled her eyes. If there's one thing she can't stand it's Angel being too humble. "This is important! Look, Angel, you are a puppet. You can't go on forever being a puppet! You need to go back to being… unpuppety!"

"Unpuppety?"

"You know what I mean! I l- I care about you very much so please see her as soon as you can."

She heard Angel sigh. "Okay, you're right. I just hope this isn't a dead end like the others."

"It won't be."

"Good. I have to go now."

"Okay, just feel free to call me when you have more news." Buffy said as she cradled the phone in her hand.

"I will." Angel hung up and the slayer stared at the phone.

**XXX**

Angel walked down the hallway in deep thought about what Buffy said. He wanted to be a normal man again but he was nervous about what was going to happen. Willow and her coven figured that they could turn him back to being a vampire again and he didn't want that. He loved eating solid food, walking in the sunlight, and not worry about turning evil. There were a bunch of slayers and Spike to help being the champions so he wasn't needed as much on the front lines.

"Look, you can't go around dressed like that! Slayers don't dress up in idiotic costumes and slay. It makes them look ridiculous." Faith's voice echoed thoughout the hall.

Angel peeked around the corner to see Faith talking to a group of Slayers who were dressed up in Japanese sailor school uniforms although he was sure that skirts don't go up that high in Japan.

"We just wanted to stand out." One of the slayers said as she came up. "The others are doing it."

"Yes, but their costumes actually cover more. You are going to be doing kicks, spins, and whatever and whoever is there will see your underwear." Faith harped, "When I was your age, I don't wear costumes. I just put on my normal clothes and dust vampires. Get out of those uniforms."

"Yes, Ma'am." The girls said as she walked off.

"Ma'am, I'm feeling too old." Faith said as she leaned against the wall.

"You're not that old. Of course, coming from a 270 year old puppet, that's not saying much." Angel said as he came up. "Great job with the uniform thing."

"Oh, they'll be wearing them again. Some of these girls read too many comic books." Faith said as she looked down at him. Faith was the other counselor of the school. She had seen as much as Buffy, and had done things she regretted. She had stopped shaking around him and tried to at least not look that scared. Angel didn't mind that. In fact, he was comforted by the fact that Faith treats him with great respect, at least as much respect as Faith often give.

"Yeah, but our lives aren't all that different from comic books. We have people that aren't human, people who died at least once, travel to other dimensions, supernatural villains…." Angel said as he counted on his fingers. He looked at his hand and then tapped on another finger in his other hand. "And convoluted love triangles."

Faith pondered and hit her head on the wall. "Damn, you're right. But, this is real life. The costume thing is stupid."

"It's a fad. I'm sure that in a year or two, they will forget the whole costume thing." Angel said as he tilted his head.

"I never thought of it!" Andrew said excitedly as he and another student dressed up in an explorer's outfit with stakes walked down the hall. "This costume idea is the best thing that could ever happen!" He glanced up to see Faith and Angel glaring at him. "What?"

**XXX**

Angel finished the last defense class without injury. The school 'day' schedule was different than any other school. Here, the night was when the slayer must be ready so they sleep and wake up at sunset for their nightly rounds, training, and poetry session. That was Spike's time not his.

The puppet went back to his room wearily and sat down at his desk and chair. It was adjustable for his height or lack of it. He stared at the phone in front of him. He should call this witch and find out what was going on. Still, he was nervous. What if it was a trap? What if they accidentally turned him into a vampire again? Could he handle being a demonic corpse for the rest of his unlife? "No, this will work." Angel said as he picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Haliwell residence." A female voice said.

"Ummm… I'm looking for a Paige Mathews? She said that I can call her to schedule a meeting. This is Angel." Angel said as he fingered the cord.

"Oh… wait a second. Paige! It's a guy named Angel! Does Agent Brody know about him?" She called out in a distance.

"It's not like that! He's an innocent that needs our help!" Paige's voice said and then she spoke into the phone. "Angel?"

"Hi, I guess you were done with the demon vanquishing thingy." Angel said as he leaned back.

"Oh yeah, just your basic demon vanquish with power of three thing. So, when can you come to get decursed?"

Angel looked at his scheduler. "Well, I'm not really cursed. I'll explain it when I see you. Hmmm… I have classes all day tomorrow. Let's see… you're three hours behind us right?"

"Yeah. Oooh… I have deal with the patrons about Harry Potter and Lord of the Ring books. They are so against it. Piper had some work at night at the club. Phoebes works at the day…. Does six o'clock tomorrow night your time work for you?"

"I think so. I will need a lift to your house. It's a long way from Cleveland."

"Heh, no problem. I'll take care of the transportation. You just work on getting ready to get some regular guy clothes."

"Yeah, oh, Paige! Can you help out another friend of mine? It's Fred and Illyria, the ones who you met. Maybe, you can help them out too."

"Oh sure, sure. Helping innocents is what we do best. We could try."

Angel smiled at the phone. "Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'll tell them tonight."

"Okay! I'll see you."

"Bye."

Angel hung up and let his body relax again. He had scheduled an appointment to see if he can go back to being a real man again. Maybe, he was grasping at straws or that he was just being obsessed but he wanted to try. Besides, Illyria and Fred will come along.

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Angel called out as the door opened.

Buffy walked in looking tired. Angel's face lit up at the sight of her. "Hi, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I might drop by."

"How's New York?" Angel asked as he pulled up a chair.

"Oh, polluted, hostile, but the stores were great. The new slayer was found and she and her parents agreed to come here for a while." Buffy replied as she sat down. "How was that lead?"

"Oh… they are going to look at me. I also thought that Illyria and Fred would like to come with me. Maybe the witches can help them." Angel said as he looked down.

"Good. I miss you as the tall dark and somewhat brooding man." Buffy said as she gazed at him.

"Well… you know that I don't want to go back to being vampire again." The puppet said as he looked away. It would have been easier for Willow to get him back to being a vampire but he wouldn't allow it.

"I know. I like the cute but slightly moody puppet too." Buffy said as she looked at him. "Where do these witches live?"

"San Francisco. Paige is going to come here and take us there." Angel replied.

Buffy frowned and said, "Is it me, or does all the weird stuff happen in California? Oh well. When do we leave?"

Angel turned his head towards her. "What do you mean 'we'?"

"I'm coming with you. There are no more slayer sightings right now. I can stay here tomorrow, catch up on my counseling, and then I can go with you to meet these witches. Knowing you, you haven't told them that you were a vampire or that you had once been the CEO of Wolfram and Hart." Buffy spouted off.

"Well, she never asked. I'm going to tell them… eventually."

"And since Illyria and Fred are going too, someone has to come along to make sure those two don't cause trouble." Buffy interrupted.

"Those two aren't that troublesome." Angel said and then Buffy glared down at him. "Okay, so Illyria was a powerful ex-god who wanted to rule the world but she's getting better…" Buffy kept on glaring at him. "She's coming by tomorrow at six o'clock."

The blond smiled as she came up and kissed him on the top of the head. "Good. See you tonight. I'm going to take a bath." She walked out of the room and Angel sighed.

"How does she do that?"

To Be Continued…


	2. Witches, Demons, and Rogues oh my!

This fic takes place after 'Not Fading Away'This is what I think might happen. All characters belong to Josh Whedon, WB, and UPN. I am not making any money from this.

Rating: PG

Summary: Set after 'A Different Type of Shanshu', Angel adapts to his new life as a puppet.

Warning: None yet.

Spoilers for Charmed Season Seven (Yes, that Charmed).

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Two

By Marie Nomad

Fred stood in the dark training room dressed in her tank top and sweats. As a ghost, she didn't sweat but it helped her get into the training aspect. She always wanted powers and now she had her wish, except that she was now dead and there was a demon inhabiting her body. It hadn't been that bad for her, she could do things most people can't do like walk through walls, move things with her mind, she didn't even have to breathe. But, she missed things like being able to walk around without worrying about going through stuff and eating tacos. She missed eating so much, Illyria could eat but it was indirect eating. There was one thing that she liked about being a ghost.

"Ready, Luv?" Spike asked as his voice permeated the darkness.

"Yeah."

"Focus." Spike said as he jumped out with his game face ready. Fred jumped back and punched at him. Her fists went through his head and she frowned.

"Get through." Fred said as she jumped up and thought out kick. Spike fell down to the ground and she hovered in mid air.

The vampire shook his head. "You're getting better at being a ghost." He said as he jumped up and punched at her.

Fred dropped to the ground and held out her right hand like a pistol. "Fire!" She screamed as a tiny spark shot out of her finger and strike the vampire in the shoulder.

"Yeow!" Spike held his shoulder and looked at her in confusion. He didn't remember teaching her that. "How?"

"Mind over matter. I just sent out a telekinetic bolt out of my finger." Fred explained as she sat down in exhaustion. "That took a lot. I was watching some anime and thought that it might work. Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just fine. You are better at being a bloody ghost than I was and I had been dead way longer than you." Spike said as he smiled at her. "Not bad."

"Thanks." Fred smiled at him. "Oh, today, me and Ria are going to San Francisco with Angel and Buffy to see some witches about our situations. Hopefully, they can find a way to get Angel and me back to being normal or at least as normal as we could get without him getting his fangs back."

"Oh. San Francisco eh? Maybe, I can tag along. Make sure the poof doesn't get into trouble." Spike said as he looked around.

"That's so sweet, but we'll be fine. Buffy will be with us. And when we get there, it will be 3 o'clock and sunny."

"Oooh! And I bet that those witches have great big windows too." Spike snapped his fingers.

"But, maybe we can talk about what happened as soon as I come back." Fred smiled at him.

"Can't, I have to train the little slayers after dark and the poetry session. Those brats actually enjoy my poems."

"I like your poems too, they are so… cutting edge."

"Actually, my writing style hasn't changed in a hundred years. You really like my poetry?"

"Yeah."

The two stared at each other. If she had her heart working, it would have been pounding. "Well, I better get going. It's going to be sunrise soon and I'm beat. You know, creature of the night and all that." Spike said as he stepped away.

"Me too."

Spike walked up the stairs and Fred walked through the wall to Illyria's room.

**XXX**

Spike paced back and forth as he smoked his cigarette in the smoking room. "I never felt like this before for two different women!" The vampire ranted as Gunn watched him. "I want Buffy but Fred… the girl is sweet. I don't even want to think of Blue. Just thinking of those two drives me bonkers."

"I noticed. The students are gossiping about it." Gunn said, "Especially the new guys. I think Fred has a thing about you too." He admits that Spike was one of the last people he would expect to be cheering for especially when it comes to Fred. They used to be lovers but that didn't work out so they were content to being friends. Now, he had to play matchmaker to a vampire and his own ex-girlfriend.

"You really think so?" Spike asked as he sat down next to him. "Great. I never had this much trouble with girls when I didn't have my soul. When, I was soulless, I didn't worry about girls. I just take what I want or they just come to me, Dru, Harm… Buffy after my soul, I lost my edge."

"You have a conscience now. It's normal. You actually care about girls and their feelings and that's good." Gunn said, "I don't know much about relationships either but you gotta move before something happens. You're Spike, the new Vampire champion. If anyone can get the girl, it's you. Go for it."

Spike nodded as he stood up. "Yeah, I'm Spike, William the Bloody, I had terrorized continents, killed slayers, saved the world twice, beat the brains out of Puppet Poof, and even slept with Buffy. I can ask Fred out on a date." The vampire nodded as he clenched his fist.

Gunn cheered on. "Yeah!"

Spike then looked at Gunn. "Where do you take a ghost out for a date?"

The two stared out as they tried to think of something that doesn't require eating or touching anything. The black man shrugged. "No clue."

**XXX**

"It's just, lately, I want to see Spike more." Fred said as she paced back and forth with Illyria and Angel watching. "I know that he has a thing for Buffy, but I like him and I don't want to make the same mistake I made with Wes and die before we get into anything serious… although we're already dead to begin with which makes things a little tricky. What should I do?"

Angel stared at her. He and Fred had a unique relationship. They used to be romantic but after a month, they just became friends. They were unique in their own rights and they can somewhat confide in each other. Although, he couldn't figure out why she would ask someone who could count the times he had sex in the past seven years on one hand and he had only four fingers. "Fred, I'm not the best person to ask relationship advice to especially when it comes to Spike. Why don't you ask someone else?"

"But, you know Spike longer than anyone and so you must have a good idea on what he likes in a woman." Fred explained as she knelt down.

The puppet sighed again. "I may have known Spike longer but I don't know him that well. I can never figure him out especially since he has his soul. I know that he is one of those types to let you know what is on his mind. That is what so annoying about him but that's the way he is. If he wants you, he will let you know. Give it time."

"Are you sure?"

Illyria spoke up for the first time. "The half br- I mean, Spike, had told me that my ability to turn into you was my most devastating power. He has feelings for you but was hesitant after you and Wesley got together."

"Oh." Fred rubbed her chest as she remembered how Wesley had died in her (Illyria's) arms. Wes's pain and death troubled her, especially with the knowledge that they are both dead and yet couldn't see each other. He was in Heaven and she was stuck on Earth with a crush on another vampire with a soul. "I'll give him a week."

"Good."

"What about you and Buffy?" Fred asked interested in her friend's relationship. "When are you two going to get back together?"

Angel turned around. "Buffy and I had a very difficult and complicated relationship. This will take some time…" He paused as he looked at his hands. "Especially with this."

Fred had to laugh. Give him a mission to die saving the world, and he would do it. On the other hand, if you try to get him into a relationship with a woman, he backs away. "What's wrong with being a puppet? You're adorable and you can touch her. The curse thing is kinda moot since even if you lose you soul, you would just become an adorable doll. Which would be bad but not as bad as becoming Angelus."

"True, but… it's complicated." Angel said again, "I have to go and train some slayers." He jumped off of his chair and ran off to class.

"He is scared." Illyria observed, "Even in that inanimate shell, he shows fear when it comes to other women."

"That's the way he is." Fred gazed at the retreating form.

**XXX**

Angel landed on his feet as he finished his sparring session with his students. "Remember, avoid the jaws. Vampires are biters." The puppet instructed as he walked in front of them.

"Yes, sir." Betsy, a slayer from Virginia, said as she nodded. "Will you change your training after those witches turn you back?"

The puppet's eyes widened as he looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"We heard that you're visiting some witches to turn you back into being a vampire. Is that true?" Jennifer said as she came up.

Angel shook his head as he nodded. If there was one thing about girls he learned, is that it's impossible to keep a secret. "Yes, I am visiting some witches for my… condition but I am not going to be a vampire. I would rather die than become a vampire again."

"Aren't vampires already dead?" Jennifer asked and everyone else pondered that question.

"That's not the point." Angel said as he waved his hand. "I appreciate your concern but we don't even know if I will be turned back. If that happens, and that's a really big 'if', I will still be your instructor and I may change the plans, maybe. Right now, let's work on the lesson plans."

**XXX**

Buffy ran her hand through her hair as she caught up on her paperwork, again. Forget demons and vampires, paperwork was her worse foe. "Ummm… Miss Summers?" Jamie asked as she came in. "May I talk to you for a second?"

The woman nodded as she gestured to a seat. "Sure, what do you need? Is your sister bothering you again?"

"Oh no, it's just that we heard that Spike is interested in a guy named Fred and that he was going to ask him out. We just wanted you to know." Jamie said concerned.

Buffy sighed as she closed her eyes. It was not a secret that she and Spike had a relationship. It was one of those relationships caused by sheer depression and loneliness caused by being ripped away from Heaven. She wanted him because she can have all the sex she wants and nothing will happen. There was no chance that she could get pregnant since Vampires aren't fertile. There were no chances for STDs since Vampires don't have them (and contrary to popular belief, they don't bite during sex) and best of all, there was no way that Spike could lose his soul since he didn't have one (at the time). It was stupid of her and she had made similar decisions when it came to sex. While she does care for Spike, especially after all he did for her, she doesn't love him like she love Angel.

"Look, it's wrong to spread rumors like this. For one thing, Spike and me are not romantically involved any more. I don't care about him being interested in any other girls." Buffy said calmly, "And the only 'Fred' here is a woman. Go back to your training session."

"Yes, Miss Summers." Jamie said as she nodded and walked away.

**XXX**

"I'm telling you, it's Spike and Fred." Mei said as she and Taya were patrolling a neighborhood after a vampire's nest was sighted. They were second year Slayers so they were alone.

"What about Spike and Buffy? Didn't they have something?" Taya asked as she walked beside Mei.

"I don't know. I heard that Spike and Angel had something too. You know about vampires and their sires." Mei said as she gazed at her.

The two paused and then thought of the two. "Ew." Taya muttered. Then, she held up her hand and opened the door of an abandoned warehouse. They walked in to see the floor was covered in ashes. They hesitantly walked through the doors to see more piles of ash. A deep instinct of fear started to itch at them. Something wasn't right. Vampires don't normally keep fires around since fire was one of their greatest weaknesses. The ashes also get scattered around after a while so the ash piles were new. Something about the warehouse is making them nervous.

"Get out. There are no vampires here." A robotic voice hissed and the two looked up to see a figure in the shadows. At least, they think it was a figure in the shadows. It was all in black making it very hard to see anything.

Taya drew out her katana and held it out. The voice was distinctly male so it wasn't a slayer. It could be a watcher but watchers train and not kill unless they have to. "Who are you? Are you one of us?"

The mysterious man laughed and said, "No, I am not one of you mere humans."

"We are not mere humans! We're Slayers!" Mei said as she and Taya stood next to each other ready for a fight.

"Slayers… I see. Let's see how strong you are." The figure said as he stepped out of the shadows and the girls gasped at the sight.

"Darth Vader?" Mei asked as she stepped back and got out her double swords. She couldn't believe her eyes. Standing in the somewhat dim light was a tall man dressed up like the man in the movies.

The figure stared at them with his strange skull like eyes and then attacked the two.

**XXX**

"It's impossible to keep a secret around here." Buffy said as she and Angel were eating lunch together outside in the somewhat warm weather. She was eating some pasta while Angel was eating his usual assortments of sweets and goodies.

"Tell me about it. The only thing that is faster than vampires around here is gossip." Angel recalled as he started to eat again. "They heard about our meeting with the witches. I guess they know that I was a vampire before this happened." Angel said as he gazed up at the sun.

"It's hard to keep anything from them." Buffy said as she looked up at as well. "Did you hear that Spike is interested in Fred?"

"Really, I thought so. Fred asked me for advice about Spike." Angel confessed, "They had been good friends back at Wolfram and Hart. Spike even saved Fred while he was a ghost."

"Who would've guessed?" Buffy relaxed under the sun as she sipped her water.

"Yeah."

The two sat beside each other eating and trying to figure out what to say next. On the phone, it was different, they can do other things and if one of them hung up, they could say it was an accident.

Finally, Angel looked up at her. Ever since he talked to Fred, he had wanted to tell Buffy that he still cares for her and that he was still waiting. Seeing her with her long blond hair glistening in the sunlight almost made him forget that he was made out of felt. "Buffy, there's something that-"

"Guys!" Nurse Joyce exclaimed as she barged out. "Something happened to Mei and Taya! They were attacked by Darth Vader!"

"Damn it." Angel whispered.

"Darth Vader?" Buffy repeated, "Are the medics on their way?"

"Yes, but we need you to go with them just in case Darth shows up." Nurse Joyce said as she rung her arms.

"Let's go." Angel got up and then Buffy pushed him back into sitting down.

"Oh no you don't. You can't defend yourself right now. Remember the last time, you nearly got killed." Buffy scolded as she got up. "Stay here."

"I haven't done this before as a puppet, except for the Smile Time fiasco and I was fine." Angel argued.

"I'm not talking about when you were a puppet!" Buffy ran off with Nurse Joyce to the car.

Angel stared at the retreating figures feeling helpless and then something occurred to him. The last time he ran off after a demon while he wasn't a vampire was when he spent a day as a human but no one was supposed to remember except for him. "Oh shit."

**XXX**

Buffy's heart pounded as she, a couple of other Slayers armed with rifles, and the paramedics who were just behind them.

"Buffy!" Mei screamed as she limped forward with Taya unconscious in her good arm.

"Oh my god." Buffy sighed as the paramedics ran to the two wounded fighters. Their clothes were torn up with a bunch of gashes and bruises on their bodies. Even with their slayer healing, they will be showing those bruises for a while. "Where's Darth Vader?"

"Took you long enough, Buffy." The masked man said as he came out of the shadows.

Buffy and the others got out their weapons. Darth laughed as he shook his head. "I am not here to fight. I just want to say that your slayers are nothing. They are weak. When you woke up their powers, all you did is condemn them to death."

"We had to save the world." Buffy explained, "Who are you? What are you? Are you a demon or a human?"

"I am both and neither." Darth Vader said as he spun around. All of a sudden, his cape flew into his feet and he fell down. "I meant to do that." He said as he got up and ran off. Buffy ran after him and looked up to see the masked man flying off with a jet pack.

"Great, another villain and he's a Star Wars fan." Buffy sighed as she watched him flew off and then the villain spun out of control and crashed into an abandoned warehouse. "At least he's a klutz."

**XXX**

The faculty gathered around the table as Principal Wood sat at the head. He was the headmaster of the school since he obviously had the most experience in being a principal and he knew about slayers. "Darth Vader?" He repeated.

"That's what the girls said." Buffy said as she held out a sketch of the man. "I saw him myself and he looks just like Darth Vader. Although, I don't picture the real Darth Vader tripping over his cape or losing control of his jet pack." Buffy paused as she realized what she just said. She had been around Andrew too much.

"By Darth Vader, do you mean, the classic Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, or the Star Wars Episode III Darth Vader?" Andrew asked being the Star Wars fan as he was.

"Classic." Buffy answered, "What kind of demon dresses up as Darth Vader?"

Angel spoke up. "Well, a bunch of evil demons were fans of Darth Vader. They liked him since he was cool at least until he became good at the end. I watched the movie with a few of them while I worked with them." His coworkers stared at him.

"You watched Star Wars with a bunch of evil demons." Buffy said and Angel sank into his chair.

"Once or twice. Anyway, what matters is that there's an evil demon out there hurting innocent slayers." Angel said as he used his skills to deflect the conversation to something less deadly.

"The guy's right." Gunn supported, "If this Darth Vader dude is tough enough to kill a bunch of vampires and two skilled slayers, he's bad news."

Robin nodded as he got up. "Okay, we'll establish curfew for those who are not training outside. Everyone who goes off campus must have a chaperone including the staff. Darth Vader may target one of us. Alert the students and off campus slayers of Darth Vader. Make sure they don't take him lightly just because he looks like someone from the movies." Robin looked at the speaker where Giles was listening. "You better tell the Council what's going on."

"I will and try to research over here." Giles said over the intercom. "Although, I never heard of a demon looking like Darth Vader."

Buffy spoke up. "He could be something else. He didn't tell me if he was human or demon. I would've thought he was a vampire but he flew off in broad daylight. Even all that armor couldn't protect him."

"He might be a cyborg. Those types were tough." Spike said as he leaned forward. Robin stared at him carefully. He had somewhat forgiven him for killing his mother so long ago. After he had beaten the vampire up for several days and Spike went off into a fiery death, he couldn't hate him too much.

"Maybe, but a slayer could have handled a cyborg. Unless they were more advanced now." Angel recalled the time a cyborg impersonating Wesley's father had managed to nearly steal the texts from the vault. He was so good that he even fooled Angel's enhanced senses. That cyborg nearly took all of his free will and he hated it, especially the nausea.

Buffy took a deep breath and decided to be leader. "Right now, let's just try to find out more about this Darth Vader guy. See what side he is really on. Just be careful." The slayer looked at Angel as she said those words. He could tell the meaning.

**XXX**

"I can't believe this. A month and boom! We get a new villain on our hands." Gunn said as he and Angel walked down the hall.

"I know." Angel paused, "What if he's from Wolfram and Hart? He could be after us… after _me_." The former vampire paled as he thought of the idea that Darth Vader could be doing all this damage just because of him.

"How could he know where we're at? Willow cast that spell that made us invisible to the Wolfram radar and well, you're not a vampire any more so they couldn't have sensed you." Gunn logically said as he put his hand on Angel's tiny shoulder.

Angel nodded and then pounded his felt hand. "Okay, that's it. I'm canceling my appointment. My condition can wait."

"The hell it won't." Buffy said as she marched up towards them. "Look, we can handle the Darth Vader thing, it's not like this is a normal academy. We have state of the art anti-demon security and every student here is taught the fine art of slaying. We don't need your help."

Angel gazed down sadly as he looked at his felt hands. Before, he would've been useful in a fight as a vampire champion. Now, while he could still fight he was not a match for any demon, unless they happen to be a puppet themselves. He shook his head. He could be helpful in his own way except now with Darth Vader running around doing who knows what. "I know."

The slayer's face softened as she knelt down in front of him. It should have been hard for the puppet to take things at the sidelines. "We'll go to San Francisco by teleport and come back in just a couple of hours. Who knows, maybe the witches might know something."

"Maybe." Angel said as he took a deep breath. He wanted to ask her about what she said when she left to help those slayer girls. Did she remember the forgotten day or did she just didn't want to talk about it? Those are the questions that he didn't want answered. Maybe, he should try to focus more on 'fixing' his shanshu first.

**XXX**

Illyria jumped from one pole to another as she worked on her form. In her better days, she was a god who was feared by many and worshipped by all. Now, she was a curiosity, a demon that could not even bend time or do a mere fraction of what she did before. Her armies are gone and no one remembered her name. The only thing that made things tolerable was her new 'sister' and guide.

Now, she was security, her duty became clear when she heard of the latest threat, the one she can do damage to.

"I shall grind Darth Vader's bones into powder and sprinkle them onto my tacos." Illyria vowed as she did another kick.

"That is so disgusting but strangely appealing." Fred said as she hovered while watching her body do the moves. "You have to quit soon, Paige is coming to get us to her sisters."

"To rid you of me?" The ex-god asked as she tilted her head at the ghost.

"Oh no! I won't let that happen to you! I want to be corporeal again but I would never want to get rid of you. You're my sister and friend!" Fred gushed as she smiled at her.

Illyria gazed at her and then jumped down from the poles. "I shall help you become solid again so you can become physically intimate with Spike."

"Whoa! One thing at a time!" Fred exclaimed as she blushed. She liked the vampire but she wanted to start off slowly; like breakfast, although they do that already. "I don't want to jump into bed with him, yet."

"If you wait too long, the world will go against you." Illyria warned.

Fred nodded as she remembered all the time she could've spent with Wesley but she was too busy and foolishly thought that they had all the time in the world. Things kept on happening to separate the two of them. Death came to her and buried her into the demon and just before she could at least manifest her way out, Wes died. While now both Spike and she were dead, something could still happen like Darth Vader. "I won't make that mistake again."

"Please don't." Illyria said as she thought of Wesley dying in her arms.

**XXX**

Angel sat in his room as he tried to find out more about the demon impersonating Darth Vader on the Internet. It took a while since he had only eight fingers and all of the entries he found are Star Wars sites.

Buffy watched amused at the puppet at work. Angel just looked so intense in his search for Darth Vader and him typing with eight fingers. "Any luck?"

"No, but you should read some of the Star Wars fan fiction some time." Angel said as he pushed himself away from the computer. "Maybe trying to find out about a demon that is the fan of Star Wars is a big mistake."

"It was worth a shot. I didn't know you can type so well with only eight fingers."

The puppet shrugged. "Well, believe it or not, I do learn to adjust."

"Angel? Buffy?" Fred asked as Illyria opened the door and the two went in. "Should we meet here? I forgot to ask."

"We can wait here." Angel said, "Maybe, Paige can come here. I hope she doesn't run into Darth Vader."

Out of nowhere, a circle of lights appeared and Paige came out. "Ready to go?" She asked as she came up.

"Yeah, but first, this is Buffy Summers, she's a… friend of mine. Buffy, this is Paige. Paige, Buffy wants to come too. Is that all right?" Angel introduced.

"Sure, the more the merrier. I heard so much about you, I love your movie." Paige said as she and Buffy shook hands.

"Movie? Oh, that was just a crazy spell." Buffy said as she shook her head.

"Right, let's go, everyone hold hands." Paige instructed as Buffy took Angel's hand and Angel took Illyria's hand. Fred put her ghostly hand on her old body. "Four to beam up."

Angel's eyes widened as he felt his body transform into blue light. He watched as he felt himself fly through the air as fast as light. Before he could say anything, he found himself in a living room with two other women with brown hair and a tall man with light brown hair. "Wow… I didn't even feel nauseous." Angel said as he looked around.

"You are a rider of light." Illyria said as she felt her head. "I recognized your aura."

"If you mean a whitelighter, you could say that." Paige said as Buffy and Fred also looked around slightly dazed. "Okay, guys, this is Phoebe and Piper my sisters and the guy is Leo, Piper's husband and Elder/whitelighter. We are called the Charmed Ones. Guys, the blond is Buffy, she's a vampire slayer, the blue woman is Illyria, the ghost next to her is Fred and that is Angel."

"The Charmed Ones?! You are the legendary sisters who have destroyed the Source of all -Evil, three times?!" Angel exclaimed as he came up. "Wow."

Phoebe smiled at Angel and said in a soft almost cooing voice, "That's us. I could tell that you're the one who needs the help."

"Yeah." Angel said as he looked away. It was one of those times he really hated being shorter than most of the other people.

"Don't you worry about a thing, we'll fix this." Phoebe said as she took his hand and held it.

Buffy stiffened up as she watched the scene. Virtually every time a woman met Angel, their reaction was stunned and then awe. She wasn't jealous; after all, he was her ex-boyfriend. She had moved on with her life and Angel is now her friend, nothing more. All of a sudden, Phoebe flinched and pulled her hand back. "Oh no."

"What did you see?" Piper asked as she get into her older sister mode.

"A demon, lumpy forehead, amber eyes, and fangs." Phoebe said as she got up, "He was attacking nuns and he was dressed up about in the 1700's."

"Okay, we better get to the book of Shadows and find out what's going on." Piper looked at the group and said, "This will take a second."

"What just happened?" Angel asked as he got worried.

Paige smiled as she knelt down and replied, "Well, Phoebes can see the future and sometimes the past by touching something. She got something off of you and we're going to see what."

"The past, she can see the past?" Angel found himself getting dizzy with excitement again. Phoebe must have 'seen' him back when he was Angelus. "Oh no. Oh no."

"We'll take care of it and then we'll help you out." Paige got up and walked upstairs to the attic.

"This isn't good." Angel said as he ran his hand through his hair. "They are going to find out about me and then they are going to refuse to help or try to vanquish me."

"They won't do such a thing. You're not him any more." Buffy comforted.

"What are you talking about?" Leo asked as he watched the group.

Illyria tilted her head as she stepped towards Leo and took his hand. "It had been an eternity since I met someone like you. I was like you, I had once been higher form and these humans were like insects."

Leo shook his head as he stepped back. "I don't know what you're talking about. I am just an elder and I'm married." He stared at her. "I'm nothing like Illyria the Old One."

"You knew of my former glory?" Illyria asked.

"It is common knowledge for all elders." Leo replied as he frowned at her. He looked at Buffy and asked, "Why are you helping a demon god like Illyria?"

"It's a complicated story." Fred said as she came up, "She's good now and we need your help in getting me to be more solid."

"I see." Leo frowned at them. He knew that they are not the typical innocents that the Charmed ones help out. Angel was hiding something big and Illyria was a demon. The last time he wasn't suspicious of someone, he turned out to be the Source of all Evil married to Phoebe. He can't let his guard down again.

**XXX**

Phoebe flipped through the Book of Shadows hoping for a clue of what the demon in her vision was. "Let's see… ah ha!" She said as she flipped to the page to see the demon's picture.

Piper looked at the entry. "Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, he was a vampire who had wrecked terror 200 years ago. He was one of those lower level vampires who are not as connected to their sires as the higher level vampires. He had killed hundreds of people and sired many vampires. Until he was cursed by a gypsy clan a hundred years ago, then he disappeared. Why did Phoebe see Angelus in Angel's…" She paled as she gripped the book. "Angel… Angelus…"

"That puppet was that demon?!" Phoebe exclaimed, "I don't believe this."

"He didn't seem evil. I would've sensed it." Paige insisted as she looked at the picture. "Did the gypsies do this? I don't think that muppets existed back then."

"I don't know but I want answers. Thank god the kids are at Magic School." Piper sighed in relief and then looked at the picture again. "ANGELUS!"

**XXX**

Angel gulped as he heard the angry voice. Things just got from bad to worse. "Oh no." He muttered as Buffy and Illyria stepped in front of him.

Piper focused her power and froze everything around her except for Leo and her sisters. Her husband looked at her and asked, "What's wrong?"

"The puppet is an evil vampire named Angelus." Piper explained as she looked at the puppet now frozen.

"He was an evil vampire but he's good now." Buffy said as she, Illyria, and Fred came up. Buffy studied Angel and waved her hand in front of his frozen felt face. "What did you do to him?"

"I froze him in time. I can get Illyria and Fred not being frozen but why not you?" Piper asked the slayer.

"I don't know. I had never been frozen before." Buffy said as she stepped forward. "I know that Angel had done some nasty things as Angelus but that was years ago. He has a soul; he had been kind, he even given up the chance for humanity twice! He's not a vampire now and he needs your help to become a human like he should have been years ago. If you don't want to help, that's fine just let us leave."

Piper frowned slightly as she thought about what Buffy said. Angelus had disappeared over a hundred years ago. A lot can happen between then and now. She looked at Paige and asked, "What do you think?"

The girl looked at Angel and then at Buffy. Something in her just screams that Angel deserves the chance. "I think that we gotta hear Angel out."

"Yeah, if he was a vampire, he would've been ashes now." Phoebe said as she gestured at the open windows letting in the sunlight.

She didn't want to admit it but she had to trust her sisters on this. If Angel had been evil, Phoebe would've gotten a premonition from something more recent or even the future. "Fine." Piper waved her hand and the puppet moved again.

"What just happened?" Angel asked as he looked around and then stiffened up at the sight of Piper. "Oh."

"I've dealt with demons, especially those that are kinda in the gray area, so I can give you a chance especially if you want to be a human and not a vampire." Piper explained.

"Good, I don't want to be a vampire again, I really don't. I hate Angelus as much as you do, more even." Angel said as he babbled slightly.

Piper fought the urge to giggle but she couldn't help it. She had never had to deal with a walking, talking, puppet before; even a vampire turned into a puppet. Then, she used her willpower to think serious thoughts. "We'll keep an eye on you." She glanced at Illyria who had been staring at Leo. Great, not only that she had to deal with a vampire puppet but a demon that has a crush on her husband. "Hey! He's married you know!"

Illyria glanced at Leo and then at Piper. "Why are you committed to this mortal?"

Leo walked up and put his arm around her. "Because, I love her and I can't stand living without her."

Illyria tilted her head again and then said, "Do they know the true scope of your power?"

"Huh?" Piper and her sisters looked at the demon. All of a sudden, everything froze except for Illyria, Fred, and Leo.

"Did Piper do that freeze time again?" Fred asked as she looked at the frozen people.

"It is us." A pair of figures in black robes stepped forward. The woman in the robe let out a strange song that resembles nothing Fred had ever heard before. Then, she found herself being able to understand what she said.

Illyria replied in that same language, "Why did you not come sooner when I was in pain, Alpha, Beta?"

The man said in English, "We do not know where you stand. I'm sorry but we had been very busy and you were shielded by the Senior Partners. Now that they had been weakened, we can restore your power to its former glory. You must join us."

"Are you the Powers That Be?" Fred asked as she looked at the two. She can feel a strong presence between them, it was just pouring out power.

"We are not the Powers That Be or the Senior Partners. We are called 'The Avatars of Power'. We are dedicated to a world not dedicated to good or evil but paradise." Beta said as she smiled at them. "The Powers That Be and the Senior Partners fight for the sake of fighting and they don't care who gets caught in the cross fire, like you and Wesley."

"I want time to think about this. I do not take these decisions lightly." Illyria said as she looked at Leo. "A man I cared about died when I should have the power to save him. He wanted me to see if I can be human, I want that chance. But, may I ask, what would happen to Fred if I were to ascend to my rightful place?"

"She would have power as well but she would remain a ghost. However, she could go anywhere she wanted to with the power to become solid." Beta replied.

Illyria looked at Fred and said, "I wish to find a way for her to become alive first. Can you do that?"

"No, that would just temporarily cause chaos. That time when Spike became corporeal, it temporarily threw the mechanics off track until it was straightened out again. We can't do that." Alpha explained.

"That explains it." Fred remembered the chaos caused when Spike first came back. She thought that it was the fact that two vampires with a soul existed at once but the Senior Partners were lying.

"I will still think about it." Illyria vowed, "Wesley believed in me and I want to see if I can make Fred alive again."

"Of course, but if you want it, just call. But, in the meantime, don't tell anyone else. Especially the Charmed ones. They will not understand and will try to hurt you." Alpha said as he looked at Leo who nodded.

"Very well." Illyria nodded.

"Mum's the word." Fred agreed. She didn't know what was going on but the idea of a third higher up power that's neither good nor evil was intriguing but possible. There had to be some power that is the 'middle' so to speak.

"Good."

At once, everything started again and Piper told Illyria, "I know that he's an elder but stop hitting on my husband."

"I understand." The demon god said as she looked at Leo who fidgeted.

"Anyway, we have to find out how Angel became Kermit, what happened?" Piper asked as the group sat down on the various chairs and sofas in the living room.

Angel shrugged as he pondered, "I don't know. One minute I was fighting hordes of demons in LA and the next minute, I was a puppet. It might have something to do with the Shanshu prophesy, I kinda screwed it up."

"How can you screw up a prophesy?" Paige asked.

"Well… it's a long and complicated story." Angel took a deep breath.

**XXX**

The Charmed Ones and Leo stared as Angel finished his story. "And so I signed the document in blood preventing me from getting Shanshued. I signed it in the wrong name so I became a puppet."

"And I thought our lives are complicated." Phoebe said as she sipped her tea. "But, why a puppet?"

"Maybe, it was a punishment from the Senior Partners. They know that I can't really fight like this." Angel said as he looked down. "They can be pretty twisted. Or it could be the punishment from The Powers That Be for becoming the CEO in the first place. They never really liked me anyway."

"The Powers That Be?" Paige asked, "What are they?"

She looked at Leo who answered, "They're a force of good who worked with the Elders. It's kinda complicated."

"We've been using that word too much." Piper muttered.

Fred watched him in empathy. She had seen all the suffering that The Powers That Be let Angel went through; the loss of his son, Cordelia's death, and even that stupid curse clause that prevents him from attaining perfect happiness.

"I can go and see if the Elders know anything." Leo offered, "I'm-" He stared out again and then he said, "Now? Okay." He smiled at them and said, "I just got a call from the other Elders. One of them wants to speak to Angel, face to face. I'll be right back." He vanished in a swirl of blue lights.

"That will make things easy. Most of the time, it was impossible to talk to a higher level of power." Angel said as he crossed his arms. "I wonder why an Elder wants to talk to me."

"Maybe to help you straighten out your Shanshu." Paige answered, "These higher up beings are so mystic but they mean well."

Then, out of nowhere, the blue lights returned and Leo appeared with a figure in a white robe with the hood covering his (or her) face. The figure raised it's hands and took off the hood to reveal a very familiar face. "Hi, guys!" Cordelia exclaimed as she smiled at them.

Buffy's jaw dropped at the sight of her old high school rival. "Cordelia?! Is… is that you?!"

"Of course it's me." Cordy laughed as she looked around. "It feels so good to be on Earth even if it's just for a little bit." She stared out and rolled her eyes. "I know, I know, I won't stay around. So, how are you guys?"

Fred came up and shook her head. "I've been good for a ghost but you look great. So, you're an Elder?"

"Oh yeah, kinda a reward for letting that demon took a trip in my body and all those years of mind numbing visions, I really deserve this. But, don't call me 'Elder', it sounds so old and these robes." Cordelia gazed down at her clothes. "I wasn't allowed to accessorize but other than that, I like it." She took a deep breath and looked down at Angel who was just gawking at her.

"Cordy?"

"Yeah, it's really me. No possession by any evil demons today." Cordelia knelt down and hugged Angel. "I missed you too. I'm so glad you decided to fight for the world."

"You did show me the right direction, thanks." Angel said as he pulled away.

"No problem, you are so cute. That hair, that face, and that adorable way you try not to brood." Cordelia gushed as she patted Angel on the head. "You had to fight off those Slayers with a stick."

"Hey!" Angel backed away. "Cordy, not you too!"

"Still, 'Mr. Sensitive'. At least you got your reward. Sort of but don't worry, I planned for that to happen." Cordelia said as she waved her hands.

"Wait, you turned Angel into a puppet?!" Buffy exclaimed, "Are you nuts?!"

"No. It's part of the Shanshu thing." Cordelia replied as she shrugged. "I can't say any more but you are on the right track. You didn't screw up your Shanshu, you're just not done 'baking' yet."

Silence filled the room and Fred said, "Puppets are the in between stage of vampire and human?"

"Duh. Why do you think that Angel can do all the things a human can do and yet be stronger than the average puppet?" Cordelia said as she rolled her eyes. "Just trust me on this. Just relax and do what you are doing and eventually you will be turned into a real guy."

"Great, I'll spend more time as a puppet." Angel sighed as he held his head.

"How long will this take?" Buffy asked, "We have a serious rogue demon villain in Cleveland right now who is posing as Darth Vader. If Angel meets him like this…"

"Can't say. Elder thing. Just relax and the answer will come." Cordelia said as she smiled again.

Buffy frowned at her. "Great, just what we need, Cordelia as a higher power who is mysterious."

"Love you too, B. But, I'm serious. This sort of thing can't be answered by anyone else except for Angel." Cordelia said looking somewhat hurt. Buffy could see that the woman had changed over the years, they were not the high school girls they were once. Angel told her how much Cordy had changed and now she believed him. After all, someone has to go through much to become an Elder.

"Well, I guess so." Buffy said as she held herself.

"Maybe, this is another test I have to endure. I'm halfway there, I can do this." Angel said as he tried to think optimistically. He knew that Cordelia allowed him this puppet form for a reason, for what reason, he couldn't think of. Still, he trusted his former seer that he will find a way to being a real man in every term of the word.

Cordelia stared at him. "Wow, Angel the Optimist that is weird. But, I gotta go, Elder duties and all."

"Oh." Angel said as he looked down. He wanted her to stay but he knew that she couldn't. That was how the world works; everyone he cares about must leave him.

"It's not like that we won't see each other again. Okay, so you won't see me but I will watch you. You'll be fine." Cordelia said as she tried to be positive again.

"I know." Angel said as he looked up at her.

"Oh! Cordy, tell Wesley that I said 'Hi'." Fred said as she came up.

"Sure, no problem. " Cordelia said as her smile faded slightly. "Oh, and tell Gunn that his sister is fine and up here too. That should make his day. Leo, beam me up. Oh, your welcome." Leo took the elder by the arm and vanished.

"Wow, Cordy the Elder, now, I had seen everything." Buffy said as she shook her head and then saw Angel's somewhat somber expression on his puppet face. He really cared for the seer. She never really knew this new Cordelia but now she wished she had. Does Angel love Cordy? How far did their relationship go? There was no reason why she should be jealous; after all, she slept with Spike. "But, if the Red Sox can win the World Series, anything can happen."

Angel looked away nervously. "Well, ummm… don't tell the others but this year, the Red Sox manager had made a deal with Wolfram and Hart to remove the curse and to make it so they would win."

"I… I knew that something was weird with that." Paige said as she nodded.

"Anyway, we can't do anything." Leo said as he reappeared, "This puppet change is natural for Angel and we can't interfere. And there's not much we can do for Illyria without killing her. I'm sorry."

"At least we know why I'm a puppet, sort of." Angel said, "Now, I can try to figure out how to become a real man."

"Why can't these prophesies be more… clear?" Buffy asked as she held her head. She always hated prophesies, they always have double, triple, meanings that makes no sense until after the deed was done.

"To torture us." Angel answered as he remembered the chaos done by mistake and Wesley and Conner. Wesley took the prophecy's meaning wrong and ended up betraying him. It still hurts him that his own friend would do this to him, that he doesn't trust him. Then, as if she was still with him, he could swear he heard 'You're brooding again'. "Anyway, we need to get back to the Academy before Darth Vader strikes again."

"Darth Vader?" Piper repeated.

"A demon or something that attacked a couple of slayers in Cleveland. We're trying to take care of it." Buffy replied.

"All right, we'll call when we find out anything." Piper promised, "We might be busy dealing with our own demons. But, if we hear of Darth Vader around here, we'll let you know."

"Great." Buffy said as she smiled slightly.

**XXX**

Spike sat in the room where he waited for any sign of his friends and Angel coming back. He did want to come but he just couldn't. He didn't trust anyone teleporting anyone half way across the country to a place where it's bright and sunny. In a sparkle of blue and white lights, Paige appeared with his friends. He shielded his eyes as Illyria and Fred stepped up.

"Hello, ladies." Spike said as he grinned at them and then saw Buffy and Angel watching them. "Come on, I have a surprise for you." The vampire said as he led Illyria by the hand knowing that Fred couldn't touch him.

Buffy leaned back against the wall and Angel took a deep breath. "I heard that Spike and Fred are interested in each other." The slayer said as she crossed her arms.

"Good." Angel commented and then looked at Buffy, "It's not like I am jealous of Spike or anything. Just because he's still a big bad vampire and I'm… not."

It doesn't take a special slayer's sense to know that Angel was being jealous of Spike because Spike was still himself and more of a candidate of being Buffy's lover than the diminutive puppet. "You're… you're changing and that's normal. This puppet thing could be a way for you to adapt to being 'normal'. I mean, you can't just switch to being human without consequences like last time."

"Last time?"

"I… I… forget it. It's part of the past. I need to lie down." Buffy walked away and Angel watched her go.

**XXX**

Spike sat on the blanket as he, Fred, and Illyria watched the stars together. None of them were bothered by the cool Ohio air thanks to their unique bodies. "Look at all of the constellations." Fred sighed as she lay back. "This is nice. I wonder how far into space I could go. I don't have to breathe and the radiation shouldn't bother me at all."

"Yeah, you should've seen the stars back when electricity was a novelty. You could really see them there." The vampire said as he sat back. "I hope you like this. There's not much we could do, neither one of us actually eat, I'm not much of a shopper and there's not very good movies out."

"Oh no, I like this." Fred said as she blushed, "But, are you sure that we should be out in the open? What if Darth Vader attacks?"

"That wannabe? You, me, and Blue here are three of the best out there. I personally survived at least two apocalypses, a slew of vampires, hordes of demons, and a very angry principal, I think I can handle one demonic fan geek." Spike said as he stood up. He didn't want to prevent it any more. He had to tell her what was in his unbeating heart. "You know, I really like you, Fred. You're nice and strong, and well… I enjoy eating with you. What the hell, wanna be my girl?"

Fred stared at him. "Are you telling me that you love me?"

"Yeah, I do."

"What about Buffy?"

"I won't lie to you. I care about her but we weren't in love. I was soulless and she was confused. She used me and I used her. We both got over it. When I see Peaches and Buffy together they want each other and what they had, it's real. If I just try to keep them apart, we will have a brooding puppet and a depressed slayer on our hands and I don't want that. When, I see you, I feel different. Maybe it's love or something else but I want to find out before the next apocalypse. That's why I'm telling you now." Spike turned around.

"Me too." Fred said as she came up and held him. "I don't want this to be short. I hate the idea of someone else I care about die just before we can understand what was going on."

Spike turned around and held her back. "Well, we're both dead so we're past the death stage. We could find out where to go next."

"You know me, I'm the curious type." Fred leaned over. "We could do experiments right now."

The vampire smiled wickedly. "I love the way you think."

Unseen by the three, a shadowed figure lurk in the bushes watching intensely. "I will have my revenge." The figure vowed and turned around only to trip and fell. "… I meant to do that."

To Be Continued…

Note: Okay, Darth Vader is not really Darth Vader from Star Wars but someone impersonating him so he's not out of character.


	3. Remembering a Forgotten Day

Many thanks toAbuhin for the suggestion about the baby... :)

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Three

By Marie Nomad

It was dark as a group of vampires lurked in the alleys. Cleveland had become the place where vampires prove themselves by killing Slayers. There are lots now making things harder and yet more fun.

"Okay, class." The head vampire said as he gestured to a couple of women pushing a baby carriage down the street. "That is your first target. Get the girls but give the baby to me. The one who gets the baby first will get a share of the blood and a gold star."

The newer vampires nodded as they took notes. "Can we turn the girls?" One of them asked.

"Yes, go ahead." The head vampire said, "We need all the vampires we can get."

The vampires put away their notebooks and went into their hunting mode. They rushed at the two girls who stepped back, got out their stakes and attacked the vampires. The girls were outnumbered three to two but they weren't scared. Dee and Lyta dodged and parried with the vampires. One by one, they staked each one and all of a sudden; one of the vampires grabbed the carriage and threw it to the head vampire.

"Gotcha." The head vampire said as he lifted the blanket and saw a doll holding a stake. Without warning, the doll shoved the stake into the vampire's body and he exploded into dust. Angel brushed the ashes off of his body. Dee and Lyta came up shaking the ashes off.

The puppet nodded at the ashes and said, "And that's how you do a sneak attack."

**XXX**

"What a night." Angel said as he walked in his room, his body looked gray from the vampire dust that stained his skin.

"Tell me about it." Spike agreed as he leaned against the door. His outfit was also covered in vampire dust. "Vampire night schools… what is this world coming too?!"

"You didn't expect those guys to just do nothing." Angel said as he took off his duster.

"But schools? What's next? Slayer and vampire basketball games?"

The two paused as they imagined slayers and vampires playing basketball and killing each other between hoops. "Okay, that was weird."

"But normal, have you seen those basketball games lately and all of the players are human!" Spike said as he shook his head. "Buffy's going to be mad as hell when she sees you like that, Pinocchio and you might not live to be a real boy." After Spike found out about his puppet form being a midway point between being a vampire and being human, he started making more Pinocchio jokes.

"She will understand." Angel said as he pounded the ashes away.

"Sure."

"Yeah."

"…"

"I'm doomed."

"Doomed to Buffy Hell."

"I'm going to get washed up. Again."

"Need help?" Spike asked as he smirked.

"No! My washer has a remote. Makes things easier."

"Careful of static cling." Spike chuckled as he walked off.

Angel sighed as he trudged to the laundry machines. He had grown used to being shorter than most of the people here and being made out of felt. He didn't even mind being called cute every time he meets someone female. However, there was one thing he hated, washing. He opened the door to the washer, put in the detergent, and set the timer. It was a gizmo Fred and Willow had conjured up after he started to get dirty and they had to figure out how to make him clean. At first, they had to put him in the regular washer and dryer but he wanted it himself so they altered it a little. It was like a normal washer and dryer except that it had a start timer so he could set the controls himself, hop in, and get washed and dried in one cycle. He spun around hitting the metal grate as he felt himself being washed inside and out. After the washing, the dryer part kicks in and he felt hot as he got dried.

Finally, he shoved opened the door and got out. "I hate being a puppet." He said as he collapsed onto the bed.

"It would be a lot easier if you don't patrol as much." Buffy said as Angel looked up to see his ex-girlfriend sitting in the chair.

"Oh, hi." Angel sat back up. "What are you doing here?"

"You were out patrolling again, weren't you?" Buffy asked as she stepped forward.

"It was just a basic fight against a vampire class." Angel replied as he fidgeted. "It wasn't like those vampires are going to try to eat me." He patted on his stuffed chest.

"But they can rip you apart, especially if they find out that you used to be Angelus. And what about Darth Vader? He's still out there doing… the stuff that demons do in their spare time."

Angel winced. It had been a month since Darth Vader had showed up in Cleveland. He was seen several times fighting both demons and slayers. Most of the time, he would keep the slayers alive but beaten badly. Many of the girls decided to quit because things were getting too hard. The Watcher's Council couldn't figure out what Darth Vader was but everyone agreed that until they know more, Darth Vader was the enemy. "I had to get out. I was feeling a little cabin fever so I went out. I was being careful."

"I know but please don't go off like that again. You're not a vampire champion any more. Just focus on being a teacher and trying to find a way to become fully human again." Buffy said as she knelt down and put her hands on his face. "I lost too much already."

"Okay."

"Good." Buffy released him and walked out of the room. "I have to go off and get ready. Remember what I said."

"Uh huh."

**XXX**

Darth Vader looked through the various occult stuff catalogues as the storekeeper watched him carefully. "Hmmm… these look good." The dark figure said as he wrote the stuff up. "I will take one Saber of Death, a Skull of Torment, an Orb of Eternal Suffering, and a subscription of Rogue Demon Hunter Monthly."

"I see. Will you pay by cash, credit card, or soul?" The storekeeper said as he brought up the stuff.

"Cash." Darth said as he reached into his pocket and handed the man a wad of cash.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Paper."

"Here you go." The storekeeper said as he handed the tall dark figure the stuff. "I have to ask, why the mask?"

"It keeps up with the image." Darth replied as he spun around and hit his head on the door. "… I meant to do that." He stepped to the side and walked off into the shadows.

**XXX**

"You know that he won't listen to you." Gunn said as he and Buffy were looking over some paperwork. "I've known Angel for a long time and he's as stubborn as a mule."

"I know but what can I do?" Buffy asked, "He's going to get himself killed because he won't admit that he's not the same man he was before."

"You can't blame him. He missed that kind of thing. The feeling of walking the streets alone with nothing but a stake in your hand and a prayer in your heart… the thrill of watching a vampire explode into dust like it's the Fourth of July… the look in the woman's eyes when you save her…" Gunn said as he gazed out. "I miss that life."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she drank her coffee. "Uh huh. Okay. Look, you can't let Angel go off fighting demons especially when he looks more like a punching bag than a warrior."

"It's not like vampires eat fluff and there's no way that he can be turned into a vampire again." Gunn said as he remembered training with Angel.

_Angel and Gunn stood in the training room in their sparring clothes. Gunn just stared at him. "You sure you want to do this? You're half the man you used to be."_

_The puppet glared at him and leapt at his throat. Before the lawyer/street fighter could react, he was pinned to the ground and Angel punched him in the face several times. Gunn struggled to breathe as he tried to yank the puppet off. "I give! I give!" He gasped out._

_Angel got off and said, "Do you think that I'm still half the man I used to be?"_

_Gunn shook his head. "No, you're still vicious. You're a practical felt Chucky." _

"_Thanks." Angel said as he seemed to smile smugly._

"That puppet sure can fight. Anyway, he has been trying to be careful." Gunn finished as he drank his coffee.

"I still don't like it. I don't want anything to happen like…" Buffy took a deep breath and said, "Gunn, can I tell you a secret? I mean you can't tell anyone, not Fred, Will, especially Angel."

"Sure." Gunn nodded.

Buffy leaned over and whispered, "About several years ago, before you met Angel, before even Wesley went to LA, Angel had been turned into a human by a Morah demon's blood. I was there. We spent an entire day eating, enjoying the sunshine… having a shower together, it was magical. Unfortunately, the Morah demon lived and he tried to fight the Morah demon himself and I had to save him. Later on, Angel discovered that if he remained human, I would die. So, he asked the Oracles to reverse the day and made it so he didn't become a human and made it so no one else remembered it."

Gunn stared at Buffy. "Whoa."

"Yeah. Ironically, I did die again and I should've remained dead if it wasn't for Willow. I remembered everything after a botched spell of hers trying to get me to forget what happened while I was dead. I don't know if he remembered anything about that day that wasn't but I did." Buffy said as she stared at her coffee. "Now you see why I can't let Angel get himself into this demon fighting mess? Angel is closer to becoming human than he had in years. I want him to live and to become human like he should if it weren't for me."

Gunn chuckled as he leaned on his elbow. "Come on. It's different now. We have a horde of slayers, watchers, and even another vampire with a soul. Angel won't fight so hard to fight and he won't let himself die again."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because… I don't think he could handle the guilt of leaving you again." Gunn said as he gripped his cup.

"Maybe, just don't tell Angel. I don't know if he remembered himself or not but I don't want him to realize what he lost if he did forget."

Gunn stared at her. "Okay, but it would be better if you tell him. Secrets like these could bite you in the ass when you least expect it."

**XXX**

Jennifer was walking down the hallway with her math homework in her hand. She was taking a break with her classes and she was having a hard time with some calculus. "I don't get it. Why would a slayer need to learn calculus?" She muttered to herself as she went to Fred's room. Fred had been a great help to her and her fellow slayers with math, advice, and even some great fighting tips.

From the room, she heard some sounds, "Now, focus more, Luv. There… there!"

"Fred? Mr. Spike?" Jennifer said as she opened the door and screamed, "GAH!!!!" She turned around blushing bright red.

"What is it?" Angel exclaimed as he ran down the hall to see the open bedroom door and looked in. "SPIKE! FRED! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" He screamed as he closed the door. "You okay?"

Jennifer nodded. "I was just needed some help with calculus."

"Okay, find someone else." Angel comforted as he helped Jennifer to the stairs.

"I had no idea that vampires are that… big."

"…"

**XXX**

"What were you two doing? This is a school for confused teenage girls! The last thing that we need is two people bonking about!" Buffy screamed as she looked at the two undead people who were dressed again.

"We weren't being that into it. Yet." Spike said as he chuckled.

"We were just doing some training and I wanted to experiment." Fred said as she looked away. "I mean, it was just some manipulation of body parts and one thing led to another…"

"Too much info." Buffy moaned as she remembered her own time with Spike. "Just lock the doors next time and new rule: You must knock whenever you want to get in." She paused and looked at Illyria who was watching. "Illyria, aren't you bothered by this?"

"No. I am not bothered by the manipulation of two beings." The ex-god replied softly.

"Okay, go and make sure this won't happen again." Buffy said as she rubbed her temples.

"Thanks!" Fred said as the three left the room.

Buffy leaned back against the chair. "They are like a pair of undead bunnies."

"No, bunnies multiply, there's no way a ghost and a vampire could have kids." Angel said as he climbed onto the chair.

The slayer looked at the puppet. How did he get in without her knowing? Still, if there was one thing that never changed, it was Angel's stealthy power. "Yeah, but it has been a month since they started dating and they are already… doing it."

"Well, those two have always been somewhat impulsive." Angel said as he thought of the two. "I just hope that nothing happens to them. They both really had been through a lot."

At that statement, Buffy raised an eyebrow. She wasn't surprised that he cared about Fred. He and Fred had been friends for a long time. However, she was more stunned that he seemed to include Spike as well. "Are you saying that you actually cared about Spike?"

The puppet looked away embarrassed. "Well, the guy kinda grew on me. He treated me no differently than he would if I was a vampire. He is like a little brother to me; an annoying loud mouthed little brother who never listens but a little brother never the less. Don't tell him."

"Never." Buffy held up both hands. "So…"

"So…"

The two looked at each other. "I have to go and… teach." Angel said awkwardly as he stepped away.

"Yeah. And I have… stuff to do." Buffy nodded and the two went off.

**XXX**

Darth Vader sat in the airport terminal waiting for his flight. A demon in a business suit sat down next to him. He was huge with blue scales and horns. "Hiya." The demon said as he waved, "Looks like we're taking the same flight. I'm going to France. Where are you going?"

"London." Darth replied as he crossed his arms.

"Ah, nice place, so dark and damp. Nice armor, you look just like Darth Vader."

"That's what everyone tells me." Darth replied as he stared out.

"What's your name? I'm Joshuka but everyone calls me Josh."

"If I tell you, I will have to kill you. I'm a rogue demon hunter."

Josh winced as he leaned back. "Then, why are you taking a flight with demons? Aren't you human?"

"No. Ask another question and I will rip out all three of your hearts and decapitate you. That is how you kill a demon of your type." Darth said as he looked out again. The businessman nodded and rushed to another chair.

Darth looked at the piece of paper in his hands. He didn't expect the Tome of Rizulan to be in England and in that place of all places. His trip to England will be most interesting.

**XXX**

Phoebe Halliwell sat in her chair as she prepared her next column. As a columnist, she had a duty to help out those who need her help without using magic. It make her feel better in her life, more useful since her active powers had been negated for who knows how long. The phone rang and the woman answered, "Phoebe Halliwell."

"Hi, Phoebe, this is Angel. Remember me?"

"Yeah. How can I forget someone like you?" The witch laughed, "What is it? Darth Vader?"

"No, actually, I heard from a slayer who lived in San Francisco that you write an advice column and I need some advice from someone who deals with the supernatural like me."

"Well, okay, normally I don't do on phone advice but what is it?"

"Okay, Buffy was my first girlfriend in a hundred years. We had something but you see when I was cursed with a soul, the gypsies put in this clause that makes it so that when I enjoy a moment of perfect happiness I lose my soul and go back to being Angelus. Buffy and I made love and it was her first time."

Phoebe's jaw dropped. "And making love with someone can make a moment of perfect happiness."

"Yeah, I lost my soul, killed a friend of Buffy's and nearly destroyed the world. After that, I couldn't do it again. I went to LA and we just lost touch. I had a chance to be with her when I accidentally became human. It was perfect but I found out that we were two champions and the world needs us apart. So, I had the Oracles reverse the day and made it so I never became human. I thought Buffy had forgotten the day but I don't know now. I think she remembered."

Phoebe nearly choked up at the story. She could remember her relationship with Cole. He could have been a normal human if it weren't for the Source of All Evil. She loved him and he loved her, he had given up his power like Angel had. "Well, speaking as someone who had dealt with relationships with those dark brooding types, I think that you should tell her the truth. Try to find out what happened."

"What if she hates me for it?"

The woman smiled as she looked at the phone. "I think that if Buffy could forgive you for nearly ending the world, I think she can forgive for trying to hide this from her."

"All right. Thanks."

"No problem. If you need help getting back to Buffy, let me know. I had personal experience in this sort of thing."

The puppet hung up and Phoebe started working on the column. She looked at the phone and said, "She knows, Angel. She knows everything."

**XXX**

The sun was setting as Darth Vader walked out of the airport. "Soon, I will have the tome and be a step closer to ending this chaos." He looked at the map and frowned under his mask. "There's only one way to get to where I need to be." He came up to a corner and held up his hand and called out, "TAXI!"

A black taxi pulled up and a man with a distinct New York accent looked out of the window. "Hey, nice costume. Where to?"

"This address." Darth Vader said as he handed the man the paper.

"Oh, okay. Come on in."

"Thank you." The armored man stepped into the taxi and it sped off.

**XXX**

Buffy sat back as she thought of what was going on with Fred and Spike. She didn't have any problems with those two but it stunned her about how fast they are taking it. They are both not hindered by human things like aging and human frailties. Yet, they are going at it like there was no tomorrow. On the other hand, with their luck, there could be no tomorrow. Why can't she be that brave? She wanted to be with Angel, she really do.

"Buffy."

"Angel." The woman said as she looked at the puppet. "We need to talk. Do you remember that time, after Thanksgiving, that I went into LA and we fought that Morah demon?"

Angel stiffened up as he stepped forward. He should deny it but he couldn't. "Yeah."

"Everything? Like what happened and didn't happen but did happen in some weird pre-time reversing way?" Buffy said as she tried to think.

"You remembered. How?" Angel stated.

"Oh, I died, my memory kinda gotten straightened out and wham! It just hit me." Buffy said as she leaned forward.

Angel went from scared to angry. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"What can I say? Hi, Angel, I was dragged out of Heaven and I remembered that you had thrown away your chance at happiness to try to prevent my death by only a year and a half." Buffy snapped back. "You should've at least told me before you did it. We could've changed everything. At least, you wouldn't be a puppet."

"I thought I was doing what was right. The world needed us apart. We were champions destined to be apart. At least, you seemed to take it that way when you went with Riley."

Buffy's anger started to boil. "At least he had a pulse!" Then, she clamped her hand over her mouth but the damage was done.

Angel just stared down. "What about Spike and the Immortal?"

"They… Spike was a mistake. I was feeling depressed and you were having a hard time with… whatever it is and well, it was a dark period for me. The Immortal was a one night stand or two or three. That's it. I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean to upset you. I knew how much you wanted to be Human."

"It's okay. You were angry. I should've asked when I started seeing what was going on." Angel said as he took her hand.

"Did you ever regret reversing that day?" Buffy asked as she tried to calm down.

"Not now. I… I've done a lot of good since then. I've done things that I couldn't have done as a human. I missed being human and I did feel bad that I didn't say anything to you until it was too late." Angel sighed as he turned around. "I wasn't ready to become human then. There was too much to do too much to redeem for. But this is different. There are more champions are out there and the Powers That Be had started on my shanshu. When my shanshu is done, the world and I should be ready then."

"That is very poetic." Buffy admitted as she felt slightly moved by the speech.

"Well, it's true. I just hope that my shanshu will be done soon. I don't like having to jump into the washer every time I need to get cleaned."

"Yeah." Buffy gazed at him.

Angel stared at her and then he opened his mouth. "Buffy… I-"

RING

"Damn it!" The puppet muttered as Buffy flipped open the cell phone.

"Buffy Summers. Yeah. What?! No! Are you sure it's him? She watched Star Wars? Okay. Thanks." The slayer hung up and rubbed her head.

"What is it?" Angel asked worried, "Is it Darth Vader?"

"Huh? Oh right, normal human hearing. Darth Vader attacked Roger Wyndam-Pryce, Wes's father." Buffy explained as she shook. "Mr. Pryce was beaten up to a pulp; he's in the hospital right now. Mrs. Pryce told the police that the assailant was wearing a Star Wars costume. The new council is in lockdown and we have our London slayers guarding the others."

"Was anything taken?"

"Manuscripts. Mrs. Pryce is going to look through everything. I don't get it. Why would Darth Vader beat up Mr. Pryce like that in London?"

"Who knows. Maybe… maybe he had a grudge against Wesley." Angel said, "Or he could be after something that belonged to Mr. Pryce. Darth Vader is such a mysterious man… we don't even know what his real name is!"

"Well, Giles is going to have us do a video conference with Mrs. Pryce and maybe she can help us find out more about our rogue." Buffy and Angel marched through the hall and saw the others in the conference room waiting.

"Glad you're here." Robin said as he turned on the video monitor. "Mrs. Pryce?"

An elderly woman appeared on the screen. She was a typical old woman with gray hair, she looked sad as she adjusted her blue dress. "Hello, can you hear me?" She asked in a distinct English accent.

Robin nodded as he stood up as straight as possible. "Yes, these people here are trying to find out about the man that attacked your husband, Mrs. Pryce. What happened?"

"I don't know. I was… I was watering the flowers in the garden when this peculiar man in a Darth Vader costume showed up. He knocked me out with a tranquilizer gun and the next thing I knew, I was tied up and hearing Roger being beaten up in the next room. It was horrible. I was afraid that Roger would die but there was nothing I could do." Mrs. Pryce rang her hands as she fought for the strength to continue. "Darth Vader was mad at him. Taunting him, yelling at him, he was being so sadistic. Then, he came to me, loosened the rope a little and walked off. I managed to get the rest of the rope off and called the police and the council. The only thing that is missing the Tome of Rizulan. Roger was doing some work and he always feel comfortable having his work at home especially after the last Council…"

"What was so important about the tome?" Andrew asked sounding serious for a change.

"I don't know. It was a book and Roger never told me much about it, secrecy and all. Please, you have to get rid this mad man!" Mrs. Pryce cried as she held herself. "I'm so scared."

Giles came onto the screen. "It's okay. We'll have you stay at a hotel and there will be slayer bodyguards to protect you and the other council members. There's also going to be guards in the hospital by Roger's side."

"Not for me!" Mrs. Pryce screamed. She calmed down and looked at the screen. "You are Wesley's friends right?"

"Yeah." Gunn said as he held up his hand, "I knew Wes for a long time and so has Illyria, Angel, Spike, and especially Fred." The guy said as he looked at the group.

Mrs. Pryce looked down at group stunned, especially at Angel but looked up again. "I see. Then, you have to help me. I'm worried about my daughter, Emma."

"Daughter?" Gunn repeated dumbfounded and looked at the others who looked just as stunned especially Fred and Illyria. "Wes had a sister?"

"He never told us." Angel muttered and then exclaimed as his over reactive puppet side started to show again, "Why didn't he tell us?! That guy was too secretive."

"We… we were ashamed of her." Mrs. Pryce said as she held up a portrait of a young teenage girl with dark hair and dark eyes. "Emma was such a sweet girl, always looking up to Wesley, trying her best to be like him… but after he left for Sunnydale for his assignment, she changed. She started staying out late at night, wore black all the time, hanging out with the wrong people. She wanted to be a watcher like Wesley but her father refused. He told her that she was too weak and that female watchers are no good. She ran away after that. We haven't seen her since." Mrs. Pryce sobbed as buried her face into her hands.

Buffy remembered how Dawn acted after she came back from the dead. Dawn was shoplifting and rebelling to get her attention. She was lucky not to get into any worse trouble during her 'rebellious phase'. Gunn and Angel remembered how they lost their sisters. Gunn's sister had been turned by vampires and he was forced to stake them. Angel's was worse, he had actually eaten his little sister the first night he became Angelus.

"How old is Emma?" Angel asked as he came forward.

"She is 24. I'll fax a photo of her." Mrs. Pryce said as she went to the side and faxed a picture. "After Wesley… passed on, I hired a private investigator and she told me that Emma was in LA running a vampire bar of all things. She's trying to convince Emma to come back to us but she's having no luck. Perhaps you can reason with her since you were close to Wesley."

Angel nodded and vowed, "Mrs. Pryce, I will go off and bring your daughter home to you!"

"Uhhh… that's nice." Mrs. Pryce said as she stared at him. Angel looked down at his hands and remembered that a puppet is not the best person to go off and bring back stray runaways.

"Don't worry, we'll go to." Gunn said, "I have contacts in LA and while Angel was a great private investigator."

"I'll go too." Fred said as she raised her hand.

"As will I. I am interested in meeting Wesley's sibling." Illyria joined in.

"Don't forget, Emma is running a vampire bar so she would trust a vampire. Besides, we're both English." Spike said as he raised his hand.

"Oh God, help us." Mrs. Pryce muttered as she paled and walked off screen.

Angel and the others looked at the monitor and the puppet said, "I think Mrs. Pryce doesn't have much faith in us."

To Be Continued…


	4. A Black Sheep

As usual, all characters belong to Joss Whedon. Except for Gabriel Hellsing, he belongs to the people who made Van Hellsing the movie.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Four

By Marie Nomad

Angel sat on Gunn's lap as he looked out of the window. The flight between Cleveland and LA took only four hours so they flew at night to make sure Spike doesn't turn into ashes. He hated flying like that but he had no choice. There was no way that they could explain why a puppet needed a flight ticket and there was no way Angel would let himself fly in the luggage. So, Angel became carry on luggage which causes stares.

"This is so bad for my image." Gunn said as he looked at his friend.

"Hi." A little girl said as she came up. "I like your doll."

"He's not a doll. He's a puppet." Gunn said as he showed the girl Angel.

An attractive woman pulled the girl to the side. She had long dark hair with crystal blue eyes. "Molly, leave the nice man alone."

"Okay, Mommy, he was just showing me his puppet."

"She's not bothering me." Gunn smiled at the woman. "Charles Gunn."

"Christina Clockerson." Christina smiled back. "Charles Gunn… you're that lawyer from Wolfram and Hart!"

"Ex-lawyer, I kinda quit. I'm helping out a school now." Gunn said as he fidgeted, "I'm here on personal business, helping a sister of a friend."

"Oh, okay. Why are you carrying around a puppet?" Christina said as she stared at the puppet. The puppet had a strange aura around him. It was as if the puppet was looking right at her.

"Oh, he's a good luck charm. You know airplanes, they kinda make me nervous so I bring along this guy. His name is Angel."

"How cute! Like a 'guardian angel'." Christina said as she patted the puppet on the head. "But… why was he dressed up in black? Angels wear white."

Gunn struggled to think up a good reason and then he said, "Have you ever watched 'City of Angels'? This doll was made because the guy who made it was a huge fan of Nicholas Cage."

"Oh! I never saw a doll like that before. Where did you get him?"

"I got him off of Ebay."

"Thank you very much." Christina said as she grinned, "I have to go back." The woman smiled as she walked off.

Angel turned his head and whispered, "Ebay?"

"There were all sorts of weird stuff on there. Some nuts even sold their souls on there." Gunn whispered back. "You are doing serious damage to my image here."

"Sorry, but I can't spend an entire flight in the luggage."

"Yeah, I know." Gunn muttered as he looked out to see most of the passengers listening to their headphones.

"He can talk?"

The two looked to see Molly and Christina staring at them. "Cybernetics." Gunn explained as he closed Angel's mouth with one hand. "You know, like furbies only clearer."

"You don't have lie. I figured everything out." Christina said as she stared at Angel. Gunn waited anxiously. How could this girl know? On the other hand, they are going to LA for all they know; she could be a demon or a witch or some demonic goddess. "You're a ventriloquist, aren't you?"

The ex-lawyer shifted and then decided to go along with it. "Yeah, I quit being a lawyer to become a ventriloquist." Gunn said as he put his hand where he felt a large hole.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Angel screamed, "Your hand is up my hole!"

"Quiet! Can't you let me talk to the lady here?" Gunn chided.

"Amazing, I didn't even see your lips move." Christina said as she looked between the two. "Where's your next act?"

"We're still looking but we're really going to find a sister of a friend of ours." Gunn explained as he grinned broadly.

"Okay, you are going to be a great performer. Here's my card." Christina said as she handed the ex-lawyer an agent card.

"Thanks." Gunn said as he pulled his hand out of Angel's hole.

Angel glared at him as he crossed his arms. "Did you have to put it in that far?"

"I hated it as much as you did."

The two stared out and finally, Angel said, "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't if you won't."

"I hate flying."

**XXX**

"Here we are, back in LA." Spike said as he gazed around at the pickup. "So, Charlie, are you and Pinocchio going to talk to that agent some more?"

"It was just a misunderstanding." Angel said as he looked away. "Anyway, the private investigator is going to pick us up. Mrs. Pryce didn't tell us who she was or what she looks like but she should know us."

"I think it's that woman over there." Fred said and the group looked to see a woman dressed up in a fedora hat and matching trench coat with a sign that says, 'Slaywarts'.

"That is easy enough." Gunn said as the walked towards the woman. Something about her looks familiar. She had blond hair and blue eyes with high cheekbones. "Kate?"

Kate lifted her hat and Angel quickly went limp. The woman smiled as she and Gunn hugged, "Gunn, nice to see you again. You look good for a guy who had worked for evil for a year." She looked down to see Angel. "Nice doll. Looks like Angel. So, where's the vampire?"

Angel sighed as he looked up at her. "Down here."

Kate's jaw dropped at the sight of her old friend being puppet sized. "What the… you're a puppet!"

"It's…a long story but can we talk somewhere else?" Angel asked as he looked embarrassed.

"Sure, we'll go my office. But, who are you guys?" Kate said as she pointed to Illyria, Fred, and Spike.

Angel nodded at his friends. "Ah, well, the blue woman is Illyria, she was a god, long story, the woman next to her is Fred, and she's a ghost. And finally that's Spike, he's also a vampire but with a soul."

"Another vampire with a soul." Kate said as she nodded, "Were you cursed too?"

"No! I fought good and hard for my soul." Spike said as he chuckled. "You knew our wee puppet man too?"

"When he was taller." The woman looked around to see a crowd gathering. "Let's go in the car, we can talk over there with my staff."

**XXX**

Angel looked around at the place. Unlike his old offices, it was above ground with windows all over the place. It was classy with the modern equipment. "Nice place."

"Thanks, we called it 'Guardian Investigation'." Kate explained as she let everyone in. "Come in."

"Thanks." Angel looked around again. "So, you're a private investigator now?"

"Yup, I'm even licensed." Kate replied as she sat down at her desk. "My staff should be coming in soon." She looked at Spike. "You are good right? Because one of the guys is a professional vampire hunter and if he smells evil on you…."

"He's not evil."

The group looked behind to see a tall rugged looking man smoking a cigar. He was dressed in a red trenchcoat with a black hat. "He's good." Fred muttered.

"Tell me about it." A girl said as she came in wearing a blue trench coat with a white hat. She had long brown hair with green eyes.

"Hi, Gabe, Lyssa. Gabe, Lyssa, this is Angel, Spike, Illyria, Fred, and Gunn. Guys, this is Gabriel Hellsing, the muscle of our group and main vampire hunter, and Lyssa, she's our secretary."

"The Gabriel Hellsing." Spike said as he came up, "I've heard all about you. I wanted to kill you for a long time… not any more though. Do you know you look just like Hugh Jackman?"

"I heard that a lot." Gabe said as he glanced around and saw Illyria. "You're not evil… but you're not really good either. What are you?"

Illyria stared at him. "I was a god before yours had came, Gabriel."

Gunn looked at Lyssa. "Hi. You're kinda cute. What are you doing in the paranormal business? It's a dangerous job."

"Thanks." Lyssa smiled back as she twirled her hair. "But, I can handle myself. I'm- AH!!!" She screamed as she fell backwards and Gabriel caught her.

"Vision?"

"Yeah. Giant monster with tentacles. The usual." Lyssa said as she got back up. Angel and Gunn remembered how Cordelia felt after her visions. They nearly killed her until she became half demon.

"Are you okay? I mean, seers that are human can't handle their power." Angel said concerned.

"I'm okay. I'm half demon. My body can take it." Lyssa said as she rubbed her head. "Anyway, the monster is at Main and Seventh."

"Need help?" Gunn asked as he got out his ax.

"No, we've dealt with this thing before. You have to get to Emma before the vamps decide to have her for dinner." Kate said as she went to the wall and got out a crossbow. Angel was about to open his mouth when the blond interrupted, "Anyway, a puppet can't fight the monster."

Angel looked down and then at Gabriel. Kate seemed confident in what she was doing and she had been at it for a while. The infamous Gabriel Hellsing could protect her. "Okay, but if you need help, run away and get us."

"The only running will be the monster." Gabriel said as he got out his sword and crossbow. "We can handle him. Go and get the girl."

"Right."

**XXX**

"It feels funny leaving other guys doing the job for us. I mean, we don't even know them, except for Kate." Gunn said as the group walked down the street.

"That Gabriel is different." Fred confessed, "He's human but he's not. It's like he's… not a demon but something else. Do you know what he is?" She asked Illyria.

"Gabriel is a being higher than humans, but he was not a demon. His role is protector and savior of humanity." Illyria replied, "I cannot see much more than that."

"Well, whatever he is, he's good, he's a legend that rivals the slayer." Spike explained as he looked at the map.

"Looks like LA was being taken care of while we were gone." Angel sighed, "I'm glad Kate was all right."

"What's the thing with you can Kate?" Spike asked interested, "She's a blond so the two of you…"

"We were friends. She was my contact in the police until she… resigned." Angel said as he glared up at him. "I saved her life once but that's it. Oooh! Here it is!"

It was a normal looking door with various graffiti on it. Spike came up and knocked on the door. A tiny door opened and a pair of eyes looked out. "Password?"

Spike morphed into his game face and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me in."

"Of course." The man looked at the group and asked, "Are they with you?"

"Yeah, not sporting the fangs but they're good."

"Okay." The door opened up and the group walked in. Fred was expecting fountains of blood gushing around with vampires drinking off of humans in plain view. Instead, it was a normal looking bar that came right from Cheers.

"I'm telling you, all these slayers around, it's a conspiracy." A vampire with a mailbag said as he drank. "Those humans are trying to wipe us out."

"Hey, everybody." A fat vampire said as he lumbered in.

"Scorn!" Everyone in the bar chorused.

Gunn fought the urge to get his stake. He was surrounded by vampires, real live (okay undead) vampires who see him as lunch. The scary thing was that he was used to being surrounded by evil demons from his time at Wolfram and Hart. "And we have to find a girl in all this?" Fred asked, "What if she had been turned already?"

Angel shook his head. "I don't think so. Vampires when they were turned, their first victims are always their family no matter how far away they are. We would've known. Nope, she's human."

"The puppet is right." The mailman said, "It is a known fact that Angelus had eaten his family and the entire village when he was first turned. I personally ate my parents too. Tastes like chicken."

"Human blood does not taste like chicken, half-breed." Illyria said as she stepped forward.

"Absolutely not!" A young woman dressed up in dark gothic leather with tattoos along her arms screamed as she marched out of the office with a vampire at her heels. He was middle aged with graying temples and wearing a suit.

"Now, Epona, dear, a human can't own a vampire bar. It's not good business. It's like having a chicken run a KFC joint."

"I don't care, Cassav. I won't sell my business!" Epona said as she glared at him. "Get out!" She ordered as she clenched her fist.

"I'll be back with a lawyer." Cassav said as he walked away.

Epona sighed as she sat down. "You okay?" Gunn asked as he came up.

"I'll be fine." Epona glanced at him. "You look human enough."

The ex-lawyer looked at her. "Yeah, I am. How could you tell?"

"I can tell when a man looks at me like he's concerned and when he's looking at a meal. Anyway, what do you want?"

"We're looking for an Emma Wyndham Pryce; we have news about her brother." Gunn said sadly, "Do you know her?"

Epona stared at him. "Emma… I haven't used that name in a long time." She said and her voice became laced with an English accent. "It's too loud here, come with me." She gestured to the stairs.

The group followed her into the hallway and up the stares. "Come in." Emma said after she opened the door.

**XXX**

Gunn couldn't help but notice how civilized the living room was. It had artwork, statues, and comfortable couches. The wallpaper was black and the carpet was red. The windows have heavy curtains and there were no mirrors. Everything about the room screamed 'vampire'. "Nice place." He said as he looked around.

"I'm sure." Emma said as she handed the group some tea cups. She gave a cup of blood to Spike. "Here you go."

"Thanks."

"Okay, so, I know that you are friends of Wesley, but I don't know who you are." Emma commented.

"Oh, I'm Charles Gunn."

"I see."

"Winifred Burkle but everyone calls me Fred."

"Cute."

"I am Illyria, the Ex-God."

"Uh huh."

"I'm Spike, I knew Percy for a good while."

"Spike, William the Bloody? I heard you love killing slayers."

"I'm over the habit now. I actually help the girls."

Angel took a deep breath and said, "And I'm Angel. I know, I'm a puppet."

Emma stared down at him. "I can guess as much… Kinda adorable. I heard of a vampire named Angel who had become some kind of champion but ended up as the CEO of Wolfram and Hart. Was that you?"

The puppet nodded. "Yeah, I guess you heard."

"I thought you would be… taller."

"It's a long story."

Spike opened his mouth. "Puppet Poof here had screwed up his destiny to become human so he's taking the long route by being a puppet first. If he's a good boy, he might be a real boy soon."

"Okay, not so long. You seem pretty calm for someone who lives over a vampire bar." Angel commented as he drank his tea.

"I'm used to it and I have protection." The woman said as she reached behind her back and got out a stake. "If you wish to tell me about Wesley being dead, Kate told me that already." The woman sipped her tea. "I'm not surprised."

"Have you and Wesley talked before he died?" Fred asked as she stood to the side.

"Once, he was having a crisis only a few months ago involving Father. He didn't approve of me having a vampire bar despite the fact that he works for evil. Hypocrite." Emma got out a small vial of blood and poured it into her tea. She stirred her cup as Gunn and the others stared at her.

"You drink blood?" Gunn asked.

"It gives the tea extra flavor besides I find it soothing." Emma said as she drank her tea. "So, how did he die?"

"He died in my arms." Illyria said as she came up. "He fought a powerful demon to save the world and was wounded by a knife. He was happy in his last moments."

"That's comforting." Emma said, "Okay, so why are you here?"

"Well…" Gunn glanced at the group. "You see, your father was attacked by Darth Vader. He's alive but in a coma."

Emma's eyes widened as she put her cup down. "Darth Vader from Star Wars?"

"Not the real Darth Vader but a demon posing was him." Gunn corrected. "You could be next."

The woman stood up as she stared out into the painting of a sunset. "I see. I will be careful, now leave, I won't go back to England."

Gunn stared at her. She looked like a Goth but she acted refine. There was a trace of acid in her English prissy accent and he hated it. "Look here, Miss! In case you didn't hear us right, your dad was beaten up by a demon just a couple of months after your own brother died! Don't you care?!"

"I was never close to them. Father never accepted me. Wesley was always buried in his books, and dear Mother… she was never fully there." Emma gestured to her place. "Let me ask you this, how long have you known Wesley?"

"About five years." Gunn said.

"Six." Angel raised his hand.

"Three." Fred answered.

"One or two." Spike replied.

"And did he ever mention having a little sister?"

There was silence. "Well, Wes has always been private when it comes to his family." Gunn excused. "But, I'm sure he was worried about you. I had a little sister myself but she… was killed by vampires."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Emma gazed at him with dark brown eyes. "But, I'm not going back to England."

"Well, what about ditching this place? You live over a horde of vampires that see you as dinner." Gunn asked.

"You do look tasty for any vampire around here." Spike said as he watched her.

"I have insurance." Emma said as she looked away again.

Fred looked at the group. She was close to Wesley and she loved him. She owes Wesley enough to help his sister get away from this combustible situation. "Okay, Emma or Epona, we're just worried about you because Darth Vader is a dangerous man. We had been hunting him down but we don't know what he is, how old he is, or even what his real name is. He had beaten up bunches of Slayers and you must know how hard they are and killed more vampires."

"He's a rogue." Emma commented sounding very interested. "Has he killed anyone yet?"

"No humans, at least, none that points to him. Look, he's not your average demon. He's quick, unpredictable, and powerful." Gunn argued, "Let us protect you."

"I have my own protection. Let me show you. Belthezar!" She screamed as she held up her ring. Her ring glowed red and a tall red demon with black markings came appeared before her.

"Whoa. First Darth Vader and now Darth Maul." Gunn muttered as he stepped back. The demon looked fierce and tall. Something about him just felt different than other demons. "That's good insurance but can you control him?"

"He won't hurt me." Emma said as she gestured at the demon.

"He is a decent demon." Illyria commented as she and Spike looked the demon over.

"Not bad. Belthezar eh? Heard of a powerful demon that died." Spike said as he raised an eyebrow.

"It's a long story. I am bound to this ring and to my master." Belthezar whispered.

"See, I have great insurance. Belthezar keeps evil vampires at bay and I have weapons just in case." Emma reached into the closet and got out a crossbow, a sword, and talismans. "See? I don't need any more protection. I had run this vampire bar for five years and I had dealt with bad vampires, demons, and even lawyers. I'm not scared of any demon that may still be in London!"

"Okay. Okay. We understand." Angel said as he came up. "We really wanted to meet you and make sure no one tries to hurt you because Wesley was dear to all of us. I'm sure he wouldn't want his own sister to get hurt. We made enemies at Wolfram and Hart and they might attack those close to us."

"I'm not close to Wesley." Emma said as she sounded disappointed, "Where's the grave? I want to see him."

"Sure, I can show you in the morning." Gunn offered.

"No, tonight." Emma urged.

**XXX**

Emma stood at the gravesite where her brother's ashes lay. It was a simple monument. The woman had been in graveyards before but this time, it was for someone she knew back when he was alive. "Wesley." She sighed as she lay the flowers down. "My dear brother, I wish we had a chance to finish our chess game." The group watched as Emma did a quick prayer. "I hope you find rest in Heaven." She said as she bowed her head and turned away.

Out of nowhere, a blast struck the stone and Emma fell down. "Belthezar!" She screamed and the demon popped out. Spike got out his game face while Illyria, Gunn, and Angel took up defensive positions.

A figure walked out of the shadow and said, "That stone means nothing." Darth Vader appeared carrying a ray gun.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? The girl is mourning!" Gunn screamed as he got out his ax.

The figure stepped forward and tripped. He got back up and said, "She mourns for a brother she had not spoken to in over five years. They were not close and Emma, forgive me but your brother is not in Heaven. He is in Hell where he deserves."

"No!" Emma screamed, "Wesley is a good kind man! What do you know about him?"

"Everything, Emma." Darth Vader whispered.

"You know nothing. Why did you steal that tome?" Emma looked at Belthezar who lunged at Darth. Darth dodged the demon and looked at him.

"An upper level rubist demon. How rare." Darth Vader said as he and Belthezar fought. The others watched in interest. The demon and the rogue were equal. Finally Darth Vader jumped up high and chanted in some strange language. Belthezar screamed in pain as he collapsed and disappeared. "Anyway, I am on a mission to save the world from the forces of Good and Evil."

There was a pause and Fred asked, "Save the world from Good and Evil? Don't you want to conquer the world like everyone else?"

"I am not a villain. I am a rogue."

"A rogue what?"

"… I'm not sure yet."

Spike and Illyria marched up and Darth flicked his wrists and a spray of holy water hit the vampire and another potion hit Illyria. Fred screamed as she felt the pain.

Angel looked up at Emma and Gunn. "Go and get Emma to safety! I'll take care of Darth." The puppet lunged at Darth's head. He knew that he was no match for him but if he could just at least distract him, maybe Spike and Illyria would live.

Darth spun his head around and grabbed the puppet. He spun his head back to the front and looked down at Angel. "You're a puppet again? What happened?" He said stunned.

"I'm in the middle of shanshu." Angel said as he tried to pull away.

"How odd." Darth said and then saw Spike and Illyria getting ready to fight. "Aw, bloody hell. Catch!!!" He screamed as he flung the puppet away.

"Angel!" Gunn yelled as he watched his friend soar off over the fence.

"Catch that puppet!" Spike ordered as the group ran after it.

**XXX**

Emma looked around as she and the others watched. "Are you sure he's here?" The Englishwoman asked as she squinted.

"Yeah, I can smell his smelly cologne." Spike said as he looked around. "That Darth guy fights dirty. I like that."

"He fights to survive. His aura is dark and cold. He has a soul but it's tainted." Illyria announced. "He is not a demon but he is not human."

"A cyborg?" Gunn guessed, "His head spun around like in the Exorcist."

"Maybe. There's something… strange about him." Fred said as she gazed out.

"You mean besides the fact that his head spins, he shoots holy water, and that he knew Wes?" Angel's voice said from above.

The group glanced up to see Angel hanging by his coat on a branch. "Angel, you okay?" Gunn asked as he tilted his head up.

"Embarrassed but fine." Angel replied, "Can you get me down?"

"Allow me." Spike climbed up the tree at lightning speed, unhooked Angel, and tossed him down.

The puppet landed on his feet. "I think that Darth Vader knows us and has a grudge against Wesley and maybe his family."

"Why? Wesley must have made enemies here in America long after we part ways." Emma said as she crossed her arms.

"The guy said 'bloody hell' like an Englishman. So, he must have been English at one point and just hid his accent like you did." Angel explained, "Does your family have any enemies?"

"About every vampire in Europe and a good amount of evil demons." Emma replied, "Father had been a very good watcher. Oh no. You don't think… my place!"

She ran off to the street and yelled, "Taxi!" The group piled into the cab and rushed to Emma's bar where all that stood there was a pile of rubble and ashes.

The woman stared at it. "My bar… my home." Emma stepped forward as she collapsed onto her knees. She had worked so hard for her home, for her life for over five years. Her eyes became hardened. "He destroyed my bar, he ruined my brother's monument, and he has beaten up my father. I want his head. I want it now!"

Gunn came up and held her. "Hey, it's okay. We'll get the guy and make him pay."

"I'm fine!" Emma yelled as she pulled back. "Belthezar? Are you okay?"

The demon shimmered out of thin air. "I'm fine. I just had to rest for a second." He looked at the burning building. "Your bar!"

"I know. I've invested my future into that place. Where can a girl who loves the dark and have less human friends than demon friends like me live?" Emma wondered.

"I know a place." Gunn offered as he put his hand over the girl's shoulder.

**XXX**

Buffy came in to see her friends back from their trip. "Hi, how did things go?" She asked and then she saw a tall gothic girl with a lip piercing and tattoos all over her arms and chest. "You must be Wes' little sister, Emma."

"I'm not little." Emma said as she stood up. "Darth Vader burned down my bar and my home, can I stay here? I want some bloody revenge."

"It's not my place to say." Buffy said as she looked at Belthezar who was bringing some luggage. "What is he?"

"Belthezar, my demon. Belthezar, please be careful with my blood." The goth smiled at her. "I like to drink a little blood with my tea."

Buffy sighed. A young woman her age who dresses up more like a vampire than Spike and Angel and who likes to drink blood was going to live in Slaywarts. "You will fit right in."

To Be Continued…


	5. The Journey into a Star Wars Convention

Star Wars was owned by Lucas Ltd. I am not making fun of Star Wars fans since I'm a fan myself. The song 'This is Your Life' is owned by Switchfoot and not used with their permission.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Five

By Marie Nomad

Buffy checked her costume as she prepared for the next mission. Her wig itched and she double checked her weapons. Ever since Darth Vader's surprise attacks on the Pryces, Slaywarts had been on full alert. Both the Council and the school had been working on finding out more about the Darth Vader demon with no luck. Demons who had actually met Darth said that he was a cold creature who tends to blab about how he will kill them if they don't leave him alone. Any human preferred to just stay away.

Now, they finally got a lead that seemed possible. The tome that Darth stole had a spell for locating a certain object. The bad news was that they don't have the spell. The good news was that they know what the object was that Darth was looking for and where it was. At least, the general location but that was better than nothing. They had to get it soon and they had to prepare to go that place deep undercover. The plan was that she, Angel, Spike, Emma, and Gunn will go there. They don't want to attract too much attention or let innocent people get hurt. So, they kept it to the minimum just to be on the safe side. The last thing they wanted was to attract attention. Right now, they are at the Las Vegas headquarters where they are getting ready.

"Why do you have to be Han Solo?!" Spike screamed as he and Angel walked in wearing matching Han Solo outfits.

"Because I'm a better Han Solo than you!" Angel yelled back.

"You're a puppet! You're more Yoda than Han Solo!"

"And have you ever met a blond Han Solo?"

Buffy looked at the two. Together on the battlefield, they are a force to be reckoned, however, if the world wasn't in danger then they bicker like an old married couple combined with a pair of brothers. "Why don't you both be Han Solo?"

"It's not the same." The two said at once.

Buffy felt her hair that had been put in a pair of buns. While Spike and Fred are a couple, no doubt Spike still wanted to be Han just to match her 'Leia'. "Okay, you two. We'll settle this in coin toss." The woman got out a quarter, flipped it, and then after it landed she said, "Call it."

"Heads." Angel said.

"Tails."

Buffy lifted her hand and showed the two the quarter. "Heads, Angel gets to be Han Solo."

"Yes!" Angel said and started doing some kind of victory jig. Buffy had to giggle at the sight. The puppet was getting better at controlling himself but he was still overexcited at times.

"Buggers! Now, I have to get something else." Spike pouted as he marched off.

"Thanks." Angel said as he nodded and looked up at Buffy. "You know, you make a lovely Leia." He complimented and then walked off.

Buffy blushed slightly at the compliment. "Okay."

"I'm ready. White is not exactly my color but…" Emma said as she came in dressed up identically to Buffy. The two stared at each other. "Ah, bloody hell."

"Hey, girls." Gunn said as he came in dressed up as Han Solo.

"We are going to be in trouble."

**XXX**

After everyone got their costumes straightened out, they stood at the door. Emma was dressed up in black as an evil Jedi Master. Gunn was Mace Windu. Spike was now dressed up as Luke Skywalker. Belthezar, of course, dressed up as Darth Maul. In front of them were wall to wall booths of strange looking objects and people. Angel nearly toppled back at the sight. "Did we just land in some alternate dimension we didn't know about?"

"I wish." Gunn muttered, "That would be a lot less scary."

"Maybe we should have Andrew join us. He was a major Star Wars fan." Spike said as he walked with the group. He paused. "Did I just suggest that?"

"Well, he would be too distracted by this." Buffy said as she gestured at the costumed people. "Emma?"

Emma took a deep breath as she held up a picture of a ring. "Okay, this is the ring that we're looking for. It was made to negate magic effects but it never worked since it needed something impossible to get. That was what the Tome was about."

"Okay, try to find the ring, get it from whoever has it, and don't attract any attention." Angel urged. The group stared at him.

"And this is coming from Puppet Han." Spike chuckled.

"You know what I mean!" Angel yelled. "And keep an eye out for Darth Vader."

At once, a group of Darth Vaders passed them and Buffy added, "Any Darth Vader that looks suspicious."

**XXX**

Buffy walked around looking at the various booths with Angel in her arms. There was no way that he could walk around by himself without attracting attention. He wanted to come since he had met Darth Vader face to face and had a good idea on what kind of man he was. Although, she was sure that he wanted to spend some quality time with her. She didn't mind it at all. It was comforting for her to have Angel so close and he felt so soft. A part of her wanted to take him home with her and snuggle him to sleep. Of course, she could never do that to him.

Angel gazed around while looking limp. It wasn't that hard for him since he can see all around without moving his eyes. He enjoyed being in Buffy's arms, she was so strong and protective. If he had to be carried around by anyone, he wanted Buffy. Forget sex, a little snuggling was what he wanted. But, he couldn't ask her that. It's just too awkward.

"Hello, Miss." A familiar looking geek came up dressed up as Han Solo. "I love that doll of yours. Where did you find him?" Angel stared in shock. It was one of his old friends David Nabitt.

"Ebay." Buffy answered.

David put his hand on the doll's head. "He looks so familiar… the real Han Solo's hair wasn't as… poofy. Just a quick trim should do it." He reached into his bag and got out a pair of scissors.

"Hey!" Angel turned his head. "Don't touch the hair!"

David's jaw dropped. "A real talking Han Solo! Amazing device, he sounds just like this private investigator I once hired."

"Angel?" Buffy guessed as she put her hand over the puppet's mouth.

"Yes! In fact…" The man stared at the puppet some more. "Oh my god. Don't tell me."

Angel pulled Buffy's hand off and whispered, "I'm a puppet, long story, and just pretend you didn't see anything."

"Uhhh… right. Is this contagious or is it some form of puppet cancer?" David asked as he tried not to look stunned.

"No!"

"How do you know each other?" Buffy whispered as the three went to the side.

"He was a client of mine three or four years ago. Blackmail." Angel answered.

"Yes, it's been forever since I saw you. How did you become CEO of Wolfram and Hart?" David asked interested, "I read the business papers."

"It's… complicated." Angel replied as he waved his hand. His eyes lit up as he reached into his pocket and handed David a piece of paper. "Have you seen this ring? We're on a mission to find it."

"Ah, like Frodo and his band of heroes." David said as he nodded.

Buffy paused and said, "You remind me of a friend of mine. Anyway, if you find anything like this, let us know. Oh, and be on a look out for a suspicious looking Darth Vader. You know, any Darth Vader that looks too good and is a klutz."

"All right. Good luck on your mission." David said as he smiled at them and then rushed off to find the ring.

The two stared at the retreating figure. "That was… interesting." Angel commented as Buffy walked back out to the main area.

"Tell me about it. He is a good guy right?"

"He was a geek but he's decent and he had known a bit about the dark side of LA. Except for him going to a demon brothel like twelve times, he hasn't done anything wrong." Angel said.

"Demon brothel? Okay, now that was just wrong." Buffy said as she shook her head. Then, she saw Emma and Belthezar coming towards them. "Any luck?"

Emma sighed as she crossed her arms. "Nothing. Most of these people are wearing gloves. I will get a shot at Darth Vader's head right?"

"He's dangerous." Angel warned, "We don't even know what he really is."

"He burned down my home. I will not forgive that thing for that." Emma turned around, "I will go and search again. Come on, Belthezar."

The demon nodded and walked off with her. Buffy glared at her. "Thank you, Emma Frost." Emma had adopted the nickname since she couldn't use her vampire name. Buffy and her fellow slayers were used to Spike and even Angel but she didn't want to be around someone who actually embraced the vampire lifestyle. Despite the fact that While Emma had been at the school for two weeks, Buffy had never seen her under the sun or even in direct sunlight inside. That made her felt a little on edge and had her checked for a reflection every time she came back after a long night.

"Guys!" Gunn yelled as he and Spike ran up with Emma in tow. "We found the ring! It was right in front of us!"

"Can we get it?" Buffy asked interested as Gunn pulled at her sleeve.

"Yeah, well, we would have to win it." Spike replied as he pointed to a booth.

There was a bright sign with the usual Star Wars characters with the picture of a ring. "Talent show?" Buffy read as she sensed where it was going. "Oh no. Don't tell me that we have to…"

"Yup, we gotta win that ring." Gunn said, "All we have to do is enter individually and win that ring. I can pull off some cool Jedi moves."

Spike offered, "I can write up a good Star Wars poem."

"Can I fight with you?" Belthezar asked Gunn. "I had trained with humans before."

"Sure."

Emma pondered. "Maybe, I can sing some Marilyn Manson songs or do some entertainment when I was running my bar. Although, I don't think that they allow active bleeding there."

Buffy looked down as she clenched her fist. "Great, what can I do? I'm not going to do some fighting."

"Sing?" Spike asked, "You have a good singing voice when we were forced to sing and dance by that demon."

"Oh no, that was part of a spell. Any other time, I can't carry a tune." Buffy confessed.

"You can do a sexy slayer dance." Spike suggested. Angel reached into his pocket and tossed a cross at him. The vampire caught it and it sizzled. "Nice try, Pinocchio." He taunted as he put the cross down.

"No! I don't want to do anything that is related to slaying for a talent contest!"

"Well, if you have a dummy, we can have a ventriloquist act." Spike said as he and the others looked at Angel expectantly.

The puppet could see it in their minds. "No, I'm not doing it. It's not right." Angel argued.

"Come on, it's for a good cause." Emma urged, "You just have to be you."

"Yeah, what ever happens to whatever it takes?" Gunn asked as the four looked down at the puppet.

"I'm trying not to do anything too bad. I am in the middle of my transformation."

"Whoa, I am not using Angel as a puppet!" Buffy argued. "You can't make me!"

**XXX**

Buffy sighed as she sat on a stool with Angel on her knee. "Why did they talk me into it?" She wondered.

"I don't know but we have to do whatever it takes to win." Angel said as he shrugged. He had done unethical stuff before to win but that was before he started his shanshu.

"Does this hurt?" Buffy asked concerned. She never noticed that Angel had puppet hole of his own but it made sense since he was turned into a puppet. Not once in her life did she ever think that she would have her hand in Angel that far.

"Not really." The puppet replied, "It feels kinda natural but really… strange. Don't worry; all I have in me is stuff and fluff. You don't feel anything right?"

"No, not at all, just like having my hand in a puppet which is really what it was." Buffy said as she blushed, "This is not awkward."

"Yeah. This is business."

"Exactly."

"That is so convincing." The two looked to see a tall somewhat good looking guy wearing a senator's robes. He had black hair and green eyes. Buffy studied him carefully. His pose was slightly withdrawn but not like Darth Vader. In fact, he looked gay. "Hi, I'm Kevin and I see you're interested in the talent show."

"Yeah, I'm Buffy and this is… Han Solo." Buffy said sweetly, "Are you going to be part of the show too?"

"Oh yeah, I'm a singer." Kevin studied the puppet. "Your… dummy looks good. Where did you get him?"

"Ebay."

Kevin nodded. "I see. Well, I have to skedaddle. Bye, Buffy-buns, Puppet Han." The man rushed off.

Angel frowned as he watched Kevin ran off. "That man seems familiar. It's not Darth but… maybe it's my imagination."

"Was he a client of yours? I mean, he's a demon." Buffy whispered. Her slayer senses told her that Kevin wasn't human but he wasn't evil. At least, he doesn't seem like the evil type.

"I don't think so but…." Angel felt worried. His senses weren't what they were before and something in his gut told him that Kevin isn't what he seemed. "We better keep an eye on him."

"Right."

**XXX**

"Damn it." Spike muttered as he tried to scribble on a notepad. "You know, writing a poem takes time and effort. It's not something to be rushed. Should've just show off my fighting prowess."

"Why don't you?" Emma asked as she started to put on some more pale makeup.

"Because, I want to show that I am not just a muscle. I am a poet at heart and these guys actually like my poetry." Spike said as he scratched out a word and wrote in another.

"Well, many of the older vampires do have a certain class about them." Emma said as she tilted her head. "Have you ever met the Immortal? He was very classy and mysterious."

Spike's pen broke. "Yeah, I met him. I never want to think of that ponce!"

"That's what the other vampires thought too, at least the male ones that don't find him attractive." Emma laughed.

Gunn overheard the weird conversation and he had to know. "There are really gay vampires out there?"

"Not gay, just… many straight male vampires actually had sex with other male vampires. It's a custom though the family." Emma explained as Spike looked away.

The man paled as a disturbing thought entered his mind. "Spike, did you and Angel ever…"

"Just once. Long time ago. We were both evil. Don't tell Buffy."

"Right."

"The Immortal was good in bed." Emma sighed as she thought of the vampire. "He actually didn't try to eat me like the others."

Gunn nearly fell over as he heard the last part. "Wait, you actually slept with a vampire?!"

Emma glared at him. "Yes, I have. They are great in bed and you don't have to worry about stds or pregnancy, or anything like that. You just have to worry about getting your blood drained. Although, that having your blood drank out can be erotic too."

"Whoa! Never mind. Have you thought of what to sing?" Gunn asked as he tried not to think of Angel and Spike in any sexual position or Emma having sex with vampires.

"Yeah, it's a song and dance routine. It's not one of my favorites but it's PG so it should work." Emma said, "Belthezar, remember that this is a practice fight, no blood."

"No problem. Your desire is my duty." Belthezar said as he bowed.

Spike smirked at the two. There was serious tension between Emma and Gunn thanks to their opposing backgrounds. One was a girl who had been living a vampire lifestyle for many years and the other was a vampire hunter who kills with a passion. The girl had grown up with the finest education that money can buy while the guy grew up in the projects and had his knowledge uploaded like a computer.

Out of nowhere, he smelled a familiar scent. It wasn't evil but he knew it. He got up and looked around at the various talent show attendants. Many of them are in costume especially with helmets. There was no way he could see which one it was that he smelled. He got up and stared around. "What is it?" Gunn asked. Spike looked serious for a change. That was not a good sign.

"I… I thought I smelled a ghost."

**XXX**

The group watched as Spike spouted off a poem about how disgusted he was that the woman he loved was his sister and then he kept on gesturing to Buffy who was waiting off stage. After the strange poem, everyone applauded.

"Thank you, Bill." The MC said as he grinned, "Next up is a comedy routine by Buffy Summers and her friend Puppet Han!"

"Knock them dead, Puppet Han!" Spike yelled as everyone applauded.

"Shut up, Spike!" Angel yelled back as Buffy held him to her arm.

"Han!" Buffy urged as she sat down on a stool. "We're going to perform for the audience!"

"Oh right." Angel paused and then asked, "What was the routine again?" At once, there was a bunch of laughter.

Buffy rolled her eyes. The puppet can remember every single sin he had ever committed but if he ever had to do something on stage, his mind left. "The scene! Remember that scene!"

"Oh right." Angel paused and tried to think of the scene. "I'm here to rescue you, Princess."

Buffy looked down at Angel. "You're here to rescue me? I don't need rescuing."

"This time, you do."

"I can handle myself." Buffy paused and said, "Was that even in the movie?"

"I don't know." Angel shrugged and there was more laughter.

Buffy blushed as she looked at the audience. They were screwing up and the others think that it was part of the act. The woman picked up a glass of water and started drinking.

"Ummm… Buffy, can I have a drink too?" Angel asked.

"Sure." She put the glass to his lips and as he drank she said, "Sorry, he gets thirsty sometimes."

"Thanks." Angel nodded as he pushed the glass away.

Buffy gazed down at the puppet. Finally, she got up and said, "Thank you." She and Angel bowed their heads and left as they heard monumental applause.

"I don't want to do that again." Angel confessed as Buffy took him back to the others.

"It was kinda fun. At least they didn't booed us off the stage."

"You were great!" Gunn cheered as he and Angel did a hi-five. "I didn't even see your lips move."

Buffy shoved the man with her free hand. "Very funny!" She paused, "So, we really do good?"

"As good as we could under the circumstances." Angel said as he watched Kevin sing some lounge lizard tunes. "Gunn and Belthezar is next and then Emma. Have you guys seen Darth Vader yet?"

"No."

"Not really. But there are so many Darths here that we could miss him." Buffy said as she looked at the various Darths in the audience.

Angel looked at the arm still attached to him and said, "Ummm… Buffy, you can get your hand out now."

She looked at Angel and then saw that her hand was still in his hole. "Right." The slayer pulled out her hand. "I didn't notice."

"Sure." Emma shook her head in mock sarcasm.

"Right…" Gunn cocked his head.

"You were enjoying it." Spike quipped.

"The tension is thick." Darth Vader said as he crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah." Buffy agreed and then stopped. "You." The group turned their heads at Darth Vader. It was the Darth Vader was they feared and hated. "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Watching the show." Darth Vader said as he looked at them. "You have nothing to fear. I will not attack in this crowd. I wish to win the ring myself."

"And what will you do, kill a demon on stage?" Gunn asked, "And why do you need that ring? It doesn't have magic power."

"Maybe it does but no one thought to use it right." Darth Vader said as he tilted his head. "That is none of your concern."

"It is our concern especially since you harassed my family!" Emma screamed as she and Belthezar marched up to him. "What give you the right to ruin Wesley's tombstone and destroy my home and business!"

Angel looked at her. "What about your father?"

"Oh yeah, that too." Emma said as she twitched. "What gave you the right to do that?"

"The tombstone was irrelevant and I destroyed your business to save you." Darth Vader said as he came up to the woman. "Those who deal with the dark side will be tainted forever. You must give up the lifestyle and go back home."

"She doesn't have to listen to you about the dark side Darth Vader! You're the dude who had been scaring Slayers right and left and you tossed Angel in a tree!" Gunn yelled as he stepped up and put his hands on her shoulders.

Darth Vader stared at her and then at Spike. "I am not interested in dealing out death to those who had suffered. I have a soul no matter how shattered it may be. That is why I had been merciful. However, I will stop showing mercy when I have what I need to save the world from the likes of you."

"Okay, now you are being overcryptic." Buffy said as she came up. "We work for the forces of good. We are champions. We save the world. That is our job."

"The harshest acts in history are done with the best of intentions. Wesley's greatest sin was done with the best of intentions." Darth Vader said as he put his hands behind his back. "I am going to go and win this contest. If I don't win, then I will kill whoever wins the ring. Now, if you excuse me…" The rogue reached into the back and got out an accordion. "I must go." He took off his cape and put on the instrument.

The group watched in fascination. "You know, that would've been serious if it weren't for the accordion." Buffy said and then noticed Angel staring at him. "Angel?"

The puppet bowed his head. "No, it can't be. It's not possible."

"What?" Gunn asked, "Did you figure something out?"

Angel shook as he looked up. "I… I don't know. It's just… I have a horrible feeling about this."

In the audience, Kevin watched as Darth Vader played the accordion. His face paled as he held on to his drink. "Oh dear heavens. I did not see this!" The man got up and then got down again. "Okay, calm down. You're not in the world saving gig anymore. You quit a long time ago."

The rogue stepped down to the audience and came up to the man. "An advanced glamour spell, how interesting." The figure boomed as he tilted his head. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you or even expose you. How did you see my aura, I thought you need me to sing."

"Oh no, music exposes the spirit. I can see the future if the person just plays an instrument but I find it easier if the person sings." Kevin said as he stared at him.

"Do you see death in my future?"

"Everyone dies, even cyborgs. I don't see how you die but…"

The figure turned around. "I see. I don't want to know anything else. Every time I try to find out the future, I screw up. There are some things I must not know." Darth Vader walked away.

"That went well." Kevin said as he downed another drink. "Oh, Powers That Be, if you have any mercy, please don't let me get deeper in this complicated soap opera."

Emma stepped onto the stage. She held on to the microphone and said, "I'm going to sing 'This is Your Life' by Switchfoot. I hope you enjoy." She cleared her throat.

"Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead… yesterday is a promise that you've broken." The woman sang out as she held on to the microphone.

"Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes."

Kevin gasped as he watched what was going on or will go on. "Damn it! Can't you show a little mercy to me?"

"This is your life and today is all you've got now

yeah, and today is all you'll ever have.

don't close your eyes.

don't close your eyes." Emma sang as she closed her eyes and the mood changed.

Gunn and the others watched mesmerized. Emma wasn't a great singer but she was better than the others. Her voice was filled with pain and yet it was filled with emotion.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose."

"Yesterday is a kid in the corner." Emma sang softly as she thought of Wesley. "Yesterday is dead and over."

"This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose"

At that, Kevin got up and rushed to the stage. "Damn conscience! Why do you have to barge in on me just when I got everything straightened out?"

"Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes." Emma sang out. Kevin ran to the back stage and looked around.

"This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life are you who you want to be?"

Kevin saw his friends standing there. He could just turn away but he can't. "Guys!" He called out as he saw Angel and his band watching. They turned to see him.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose."

The man tapped on his watch and his form faded into a green scaly demon with red horns. "Lorne!" Gunn greeted as his friends came up.

"And you had everything to lose" Emma finished and the audience applauded.

"I'm glad you showed yourself." Angel said as he held out his hand.

"Ah, well, when the Powers That Be send me a message… I can't really turn away." Lorne said as he shook it. "I'm not going to jump into the save the world thing, so don't get used to me. I watched Darth Vader play the accordion and well… he's a very complicated character. That guy hates Good and Evil so he's a real rogue and that's his greatest power. Well, not his most dangerous ability." The demon paused as Emma came up.

"The Host?" The woman asked, "Is that you?"

"Ah, Eponakins, I see that you had been hanging out with slayers now." Lorne said, "And call me 'Lorne'. Alas, I have no club to call my own very much like you."

"Your empathic power is as strong as ever." Emma said, "We had a short rivalry after I tried out karaoke. Let me say this, vampires and karaoke is a very bad combination."

"Don't I know it. You would think that people with that much experience would at least be able to carry a tune. There are few that could sing but they are as hard to find as a record player in an appliance store."

"Great, Peachy, now tell us what about Darth Vader." Buffy interrupted, "Because, that guy has been super mysterious and I hate super mysterious guys who may or may not be evil."

Angel looked down. "What about me?"

"And me?" Spike added.

"You're different; I know what you look like." Buffy said as she held Angel close. "So, Lorne, spill please."

"Okay, you will find out what he looks like and what you see is what he is." Lorne said as he sighed, "Trust me, when you see his face, you wouldn't want to."

"Is he that ugly?" Emma asked.

"No, just…" Lorne reached up and patted her shoulder. "Please, be strong. Anyway, Belthezar and Gunn, Darth Vader will try to fight you. Don't be a masochist about this. You will lose and if you keep on trying to fight him, he will kill you. When you see his face, back away. Don't try to attack him or deny him."

Spike stared at him. Lorne was being serious and he was scared. "So, we just let the rogue go off on his merry way?"

"Exactly. You better keep away from him. He wants you dead. Well, deader than you are right now." Lorne advised.

"And what did I do to this rogue whatever?" Spike asked defiantly, "I haven't done anything wrong." At that, Angel glared at him. "In the past year." He admitted and then the group continues to look at him. "To any humans."

"Doesn't matter. I have to get going before the fireworks start again." Lorne said as he tapped on his watch and looked human. "Do me a favor; don't try to find me again. I'm not ready for doing this. This is a one time gig. Limited edition."

"That's cool." Gunn said as he and Lorne hit fists. "You deserve a chance for a relatively normal life. Thanks for the help."

"Yeah, if you ever want to stop by, we're at The-"

"The Academy for Gifted Girls in Cleveland. I heard about Slaywarts." Lorne said as he turned around, "I'll think about it. Chou."

"How did he do that? It's like he had one of those image inducer things from X-Men." Angel wondered and the group looked at him. "I started reading comics. For research."

"Well, the guy was head of the Entertainment department, must be something he picked up while there." Gunn figured, "I mean, that place has a lot of cool stuff for being evil and all."

"Next!" A guy said as he came up with a clip board.

"We're up." Gunn said as he and Belthezar got their plastic light sabers. "Ready?"

"Let's go." The demon joined him and walked to the stage.

The group watched as Gunn and Belthezar sized each other up. "You are going down, Darth Maul!" Gunn yelled as he swung his plastic sword at the demon. He felt a little silly being dressed up in a Jedi costume swinging a plastic sword at a real demon. But, it was a show and the demon won't really kill him. Belthezar blocked the sword and swung back at him.

The demon growled as he shoved Gunn away and flung him onto the ground. The guy got up and they 'fought'. "Guys! This isn't a real fight! No killing!" Buffy yelled as she watched them go at it with gusto. "Men."

"Maybe it was a bad idea to have those two fight." Angel pondered.

"Gee, you think?" Emma quipped as she crossed her arms. She glanced at Darth Vader who was standing there watching intensely.

"If this was a real fight, Gunn would have died." Darth Vader boomed.

"Well, it's not a real fight and what are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she reached for her knife.

"Watching. You cannot stop me." The rogue said as he continued watching. "I will kill you if you try to stop me, I know your weaknesses."

"Yeah yeah. I know, you are big bad rogue assassin who is against all things good and evil." Buffy waved off. "I still don't understand what's going on in that helmet of yours. I can't stop thinking about it."

Darth stepped back and said, "You're not… attracted to me are you?"

"No! I hate super mysterious men who may or may not be evil!" Buffy argued, "Except for Angel and Spike."

"Oh good. Because you are an attractive woman but I cannot go with you." Darth Vader said as he nodded. "I know about your tendency to go for super mysterious men in black."

"It's not like that!"

"Hey! Look! They're back!" Angel pointed out as he went between the two. Darth and Buffy saw a bruised Gunn stepping forward with Belthezar. The black man grinned as he held up his broken light saber.

"What a fight! I was in full Jedi mode."

Spike shrugged. "Mace Windu would never say 'Die Demon scum'."

"Okay, but I was in my game. I was hot!" Gunn cheered.

"You are beaten. No broken bones, good." Darth Vader said as he watched him. Gunn's grin left.

"What are you doing here?"

"Watching." Darth Vader replied as he stared at him. "Do you hate me that much?"

"Yeah, why?" Gunn asked as he stiffened up. Now, Darth was being strange. He had been coming up with this weird 'Good and Evil are deadly forces' type of thing. Now, he's acting kinda concerned. Evil demons don't act concerned unless they have an ulterior motive. "You know what? I can't figure you out."

"Don't worry, neither can I." Darth muttered.

"Hey! Look! They're handing out the prizes!" Angel interrupted trying not to make Gunn fight the rogue assassin.

The MC held out the microphone and said, "Okay! Time to hand out the prizes! The fifth place prize of a set of Star Wars figures goes to… Bill Bloody with his poetry!"

"Bill Bloody?" Angel repeated as Spike accepted his prize.

"I had to have some kind of name." Spike shrugged.

"The fourth place prize of a life sized Ewok goes to… Buffy Summers and her Puppet Han!" Buffy smiled as she and Angel in her arms come up to accept the prize. "Awww… he's adorable. But what are we going to do with this?" She wondered as she held up the Ewok. It was the same size as Angel and just as adorable.

"I don't know." Angel said as he looked at the stuffed toy.

"Maybe he can be your substitute teacher." Spike joked as he picked up the Ewok. "He's your size and all."

"Spike!" Angel yelled as he jumped down and pulled the Ewok out.

"Next up, the third place prize is a real Darth Vader helmet and it's to… Darth Vader!" The MC said and Darth came up and accepted the gift. "Heh, looks like you got a spare."

"I noticed." Darth muttered as he held up the helmet.

Emma held her hands as she sensed Darth Vader was staring at her again. If she wins, he will try to kill her and she didn't mind. She wanted his head. She wanted answers. True, she was not close to her family but they were still her family and honor demands that she fight for her family no matter how distant they are.

"The second place prize goes to Emma Wyndam Pryce for her sultry song! It's the complete DVD collection of not only all of the Star Wars movies but the cartoons as well."

Emma held up the DVD collection. "Great, I'm so happy." She said as she smiled nervously.

"And finally… the winner of the talent contest is… Charles Gunn and Belthezar Turner with their ultraimpressive fight! You get these genuine costumes from Star Wars." The MC said as he handed the two some boxes.

Gunn looked through the boxes and held up a ring. "Yes, here it is." He felt proud. For once, he was the one to get the artifact. Despite the fact that he's just a normal human with enough legal knowledge to write up a bunch of Law and Order scripts, he still helped out. He paused when he held up a dress that Padme wore in Attack of the Clones, "What do we do with this?" He looked at Emma and then Buffy.

"That is not my thing." Emma said.

"No way."

"I will take the ring." Darth Vader said as he held out his hand.

"Like Hell you're not!" Gunn said as he pocketed the ring. "Look here, Pal, you are not taking anything from me."

Darth Vader reached into his holster and got out a gun. "I can kill you right now."

"No! Wait!" Angel said as he came up, "Not in front of these people. You seem like a reasonable rogue. What if we play a game? If you win, you get the ring, no fight. However, if we win, you remove your helmet and turn yourself in."

Darth tilted his head and put away his gun. "Interesting. I am in the mood to prove my intellectual prowess without having to kill you. Fine but I won't turn myself in. I will reveal my helmet and answer three questions about my past. I will meet you in a week in your school. You decide the game."

"Fair enough." Buffy said as she looked down at Angel. "We will let you know what the game is."

"I will call you. Until then, farewell." Darth Vader flung his cape around and tripped onto the floor. He got back up and added, "I meant to do that." He rushed off.

**XXX**

"Angel! Why did you go off and bet our ring on it?!" Buffy yelled as she and the others went to their hotel room.

"If we don't we will be creamed. Lorne told us that we can't just fight Darth Vader like that." Angel insisted, "He was ready to kill us. The only way to do this is to actually use our brains."

"Right." Buffy sighed. As much as she hated to admit it but if they just fought him flat out, they would've lost their lives. She wasn't in the mood to die again. "Okay, we have a week to find out what this ring does, think of a game that we could win, and protect the world. Sure, no problem."

"You know what, we need to celebrate. We kicked ass in the talent show and right now we have the ring." Gunn said as he grinned.

"Gunn is right. We actually won against Darth Vader and we have a chance to find out more about him." Emma added.

"No use in moping about it. We have a chance to do some actual good that doesn't involve sharp pointy weapons." Buffy reasoned, "Let's do this."

To Be Continued…


	6. A Day of Games

Rating: PG

Warning: None really, except for some strange stuff.

Summary: Angel adapts to living as a puppet at 'Slaywarts'. A new enemy is lurking about and he is super mysterious.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Six

By Marie Nomad

Buffy sat at her desk as always with a hot cup of tea next to her computer.

Dear Journal:

Six days passed since the Star Wars Convention. Too much weird things happened since then. Darth Vader lurking around making the girls nervous and he kept on making less sense as time passes by. Emma Wyndam Pryce, the goth who also hides in the shadows despite the fact that sunlight would just make a bad sunburn for her. She seems to be more of a vampire than Spike and he's a real vampire. Okay, that makes little sense but it's true.

Angel, well, Angel and I had been trying to figure out what is going on with our relationship. I mean, we're friends but I wondered if I should try to move ahead. It's not like that there's the curse excuse any more. At least, I don't think so, unless Angelus can exist in puppet form. Awww… that would be a cute but very evil. Okay, get that out of your head, Buffy. I don't know what he has for me but well, it's worth a shot. But, what can I do with a puppet?

Anyway, right now, we're trying to figure out what kind of game to challenge Darth Vader to. We all agreed that it will be a non-violent game that doesn't involve physical challenges. Unfortunately, everyone has different games they want to try out. I'm going to check out what they suggest.

And try to figure out what to do with Angel.

XXX

Buffy got off of her computer. She laid her head onto the desk. "Are you okay?" Willow asked as she knocked on the door.

"Oh… just the usual chaos." The slayer muttered as she raised her head up. "Any luck with the ring?"

"Nothing. It's made with the right materials but it just hasn't been activated. The Charmed ones are coming over to look over the ring themselves." Willow said as she smiled, "You don't look so good."

"Work, chaos, and my social life." Buffy rubbed her head. "When will it end? Just when things get quiet, relatively for us, bam! This happened! Why can't things be normal for me and Angel?"

"Since when are things normal for the two of you?" Fred asked as she came through the door. "Hi. I kinda overheard things sorry. So, you and Angel haven't… gotten together yet?"

"Yet?"

"Everyone has been betting on when you two will go back together." Fred explained, "Illyria, the students, Spike…"

"What makes you think that I'm interested in Angel in that way?" Buffy asked, "What we had is complicated."

"I know but I am with Spike and I have no corporeal form which makes things very interesting." Fred said as she blushed.

"Ew." Buffy crinkled up her nose at the imagery. "I can get what you're trying to say but Angel and I… we did love each other but a lot has changed since then. We went to others and the puppet thing… it's not like that I'm bothered by that. It's just that…"

"It's complicated." Willow nodded again. "We get that."

"Good, because right now, we have other maters to deal with. Meaning Darth Vader and the magic ring." Buffy said as she skillfully guided the talk to something else. "Where's Illyria?"

"Oh, she's meeting up with some… friends." Fred replied as she looked around.

"What kind of 'friends'?" Buffy asked. She didn't know Illyria well but from what she could understand, the ex-god was not the type to just make friends on a whim.

"Oh, just some people she met on the Internet." Fred waved off and then she stared out. "Oooh, I gotta go. Later." She walked through the door.

**XXX**

Gunn stared at the store in front of him. Emma had managed to get another business together. It was a coffee shop but it wasn't not like the coffee stores he had seen before. For one thing, the windows were tinted dark so one had to squint to see what was going on inside. The other was that it had a huge tent overhead to keep out any sunlight from the door when it opens. He knocked on the door and Emma poked her head out.

"Ah, Gunn, checking to make sure I haven't done anything evil?" The woman said as she opened the door fully and let him in.

"Nah, Spike sent me to see if you got the stuff yet."

"Just a moment. I need to get some things worked out first. What do you think?"

Gunn studied the place. Now, it looks like a coffee shop with newspapers, books, various breakfast treats, and even a cappuccino machine. "It's a coffee shop."

"With a vast assortments of beverages for every nightwalker." Harmony said as she appeared from behind the counter.

Gunn's jaw dropped at the sight of the vampire. The last he heard of the blond, she was fired by Angel and sent out of LA. How did she end up in Cleveland of all places? "Hey, Harm. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working here, what else? It's not as glamorous as Wolfram and Hart and Cleveland is so dull outside of all the evil stuff but it pays great, I am going to meet some cute vampires, and I get all the blood I want for free!" Harmony exclaimed as she hugged Gunn. "You look great!"

"You too. You know that Buffy and the Slayers in training are in Cleveland right?" Gunn guessed.

"Uh oh." Harmony said as her eyes widened, "That's not a good sign. Buffy will so kill me."

"Hey, it's cool. I'll tell Buffy and I'm sure that Angel will make sure that no one would dust you." Gunn said as he grinned at her. "You're not bad for a semi-evil vampire."

"Aw thanks. So, how's Spike and Angel? I heard they lived through the big fight." Harmony asked as she beamed.

"Oh, they're good. Spike and Fred are together, Fred's back as a ghost kinda and Angel's on his way of getting his Shanshu thing going." Gunn explained.

"That is such a relief. I was worried about the boss. I mean, I don't know if I could handle Spike as a human, he would get all old. Gah. Oh well, is Angel human yet?"

"Not quite but he's getting there. I'll tell him that you're okay."

"Glad to know someone miss me." Harmony said as she twirled her hair.

"Harmony, we have to get ready for the night hours." Emma said as she came up. "We have to get our inventory straightened out and get this place ready for the big opening. Oh yeah, I still have to get those goddesses to cast the spells so there won't be any killing here by either slayer or vampire. I don't want my place to be a battle scene by either side."

"That will go well with Buffy." Gunn said sarcastically, "I'm not too comfortable with you dealing with evil soulless vampires on a constant basis."

"You worked in the very depths of evil for a year and even had your brain tweaked by them." Emma said as she crossed her arms. "We both work in the belly of the beast. I happen to make sure that I don't sign contracts that involve me selling my soul or alter my brain in a permanent way."

Gunn frowned at her; as much as he hated to admit it, but the girl was right. While Emma had cavorted with vampires on a constant basis, she had never been turned and she never let them alter her body in any way. He had sold his soul to the devil so to speak but he's fighting to redeem himself every day working for a place that actually does good. "I'm working on it. But it's dangerous working with vampires."

"I know. I know. But, if vampires don't feed over here then they would feed on the streets and at least the blood here wasn't given by deadly means." Emma said as she looked over the inventory.

Gunn sighed. The girl was right again. These vampires would just feed off of the street if they weren't given blood like this. "Oh, how do you get the blood?" Gunn asked.

The girl shrugged. "If I tell you, I may have to make you sign a confidentiality agreement resulting in the sacrifice of your first born child if you ever break such agreement."

Even a man who hasn't had a brain upgrade would've seen the pain there. "Ouch."

"Anyway, the grand opening isn't for another week. I have the stuff that we need to practice the game with."

"Good."

**XXX**

Angel sighed as he and Phoebe of the Charmed ones talked while sharing a cup of coffee. "I really don't know what to do. I don't want to go through this again. I went through scenarios and they all just point to failure." Angel said as he looked at his coffee.

"Hey, I've been there. I can understand your fear."

"Yeah, so what should I do about Buffy? I'm not in the best position to have a relationship with anyone. I mean, Buffy deserves someone confident, funny, and… tall." Angel said as he looked around.

"Well, maybe you can start out small. No pun intended." Phoebe said, "Go out, have some fun. Go out for dinner, you can eat again. Or at least Breakfast."

Angel hit his head on the table. "Breakfast… maybe. It's just that… I don't want to hurt her again."

Phoebe sighed. "I understand. You see, I used to be married to this half-demon named Cole Turner. I was good, he was evil but we had great sex together. Until… he was turned evil again and became the Source of All Evil. After we vanquished him, he came back insane and I couldn't do it again. I was too afraid to go back to him even though that I love him. Sometimes, I wondered what would have happened if I had given him another chance, that I try to help him out. Now, he's gone forever."

The puppet put his hand onto hers. "I'm sorry."

"I'm over it. That's why I'm an advice columnist. What I'm saying is that you should go ahead and try it out. If it doesn't work out, then don't try to force it out." Phoebe said, "Maybe that's the way for you to complete your shanshu thing. Like in the fairy tales."

"I… doubt it. My life may be filled with demons, monsters, and even gypsy curses but this is not a fairy tale." Angel said as he looked down again. "But, I will try to give it a shot."

"About time!" Gunn yelled and Phoebe punched him in the stomach.

"Sorry, reflex." The girl said as she got up. Gunn fell over and held his gut.

"That's okay. I'm used to it from dealing with super strong teenagers." The guy said, "Angel, Emma's here with the stuff. We need a fourth for the poker game. Wanna join in? You got a great poker face."

"No thanks. I have stuff to do."

"I have to get back to work soon in San Francisco and check on the ring." Phoebe said as she got up. "Bye, guys. Good luck, Angel."

"Thanks, I'll need it." Angel sighed as he got down onto the floor and made his way to Buffy's office.

**XXX**

"I understand your hesitation but the time is coming soon." Alpha said as he and Illyria were sitting alone on a high cliff.

"I wish to regain my former glory but I am needed at the school. Darth Vader is threatening Wesley's sister and I must defend her." Illyria said firmly.

"Illyria, I'm sorry but there is something that I must tell you. Darth Vader is-" Thunder echoed throughout the sky.

The demon got up angrily. "You're lying! That is not possible!"

"I am not lying. You know that." Alpha said firmly, "But you know it too but that human part of you denied it. That is why you must join us and regain your former rank as one of us. Your place in this world is with us."

"I will think about it. Take me home!" Illyria demanded.

"Just remember what I said." Alpha waved his hand and Illyria appeared back in Slaywarts.

"Ria!" Fred came up to her. "What happened? You were upset, I sensed it."

Illyria tilted her head. "I found out disturbing. I do not wish to let you know." The ex-god tucked the knowledge far into her mind. While they can sense each others emotions and feelings, Illyria's mind was harder to read into than Fred's.

"Okay, but, why?"

"It might kill you."

**XXX**

Paige stared at the ring and fingered it. "Well, it's a ring. It doesn't look that familiar. I could check it at the Magic School."

"That would be great." Buffy said as she stared at the ring. "I just wish I know more about Darth Vader."

"Maybe Darth Vader is really an avatar." A man said as he came up. "Or at least an agent for the Avatars."

"Who are you?" Buffy asked.

"Agent Kyle Brody, I work with the Charmed ones." Kyle said as he held out his hand. "Buffy, I heard a lot about you from Riley."

"You knew Riley?"

"We worked together for a while." Kyle looked at her. "Anyway, I understand that you had an encounter with this 'Darth Vader' at least twice. Is there anything you can tell me about him?"

"That he is a klutz and loves to play the accordion. He hates both good and evil. Oh yeah, Angel thinks that he may have been English once and had a grudge against the Wyndam Pryce family. Nothing more than that." Buffy said as she shrugged.

"Well, you better be careful. The Avatars are evil and powerful. You never know where they may be hiding." Kyle said as he looked around.

"I'm used to it. Evil hiding out in plain sight, yeah, been there done that." Buffy said as she shrugged.

"Hey, guys!" Emma said as she came up. "Spike and I are setting up a practice poker game. We need a fourth."

"I have stuff to do." Buffy shook her head. "You won't be gambling right?"

"Just practice stuff."

"I'll join." Paige said, "I haven't played poker in a while. Come on, Kyle."

"No way, we have to do our job." Kyle refused.

The witch pouted, "You promised that you won't be overobsessed with the Avatars even though they killed your parents. Yadda yadda. Let's go." Paige pulled on his sleeve and orbed out of the room.

**XXX**

Buffy sighed as she went down to the office. So far, the Charmed ones have not given her any answers, although Paige had been helpful in giving her advice about her love life. She put her hand on the doorknob when she heard Angel's voice.

"I know that we agreed to wait until you're done baking and all… no cookie metaphors."

Curiously, she cracked the door opened to see Angel talking to her stuffed Ewok in her chair.

"Look, I was wondering if we could have some breakfast. No, that won't work." Angel said as he shook his head.

"Are you asking the Ewok out?" Buffy asked as she came in.

"Buffy!" Angel jumped and then looked at the stuffed toy. "I swear, I can explain. I mean, this isn't what it looks like."

"Splain." Buffy crossed her arms as she chuckled.

"I was wondering if you would like to… go out on a date some time? Maybe after we fight Darth Vader or better yet before. Like dinner or coffee or… maybe even a movie." Angel babbled on.

Buffy pondered. So, he seemed to want to try to move forward too. "Sounds like fun. Maybe, we can have some dinner here about eightish?"

"Yeah! I mean, that's cool." Angel said as he calmed himself down.

"Good. It's a date."

"A date."

"I… better get ready." Angel said as he inched away. "Thanks. A lot." He dashed off and Buffy looked at the Ewok.

"Thanks for the help."

**XXX**

The room was shadowed as Emma shuffled the deck. She, Gunn, Spike, Paige, and Kyle were sitting around. "You know, I wasn't expecting this when I agreed to this." Paige said as she looked around.

"I've heard of this in rumors but I didn't know they exist." Kyle said as Emma started dealing out the cards.

"Okay, regular free for all. Everyone put in your bets." The girl said.

At once, Gunn, Spike, Paige, and Kyle got out a kitten from the basket and put it into the center basket. "I missed Kitten Poker." Spike said as he patted the kitten.

"It's only been a couple of months; I've played my fair share too." Gunn said as he looked at his cards. "I bet one tabby." He put in another kitten.

"I stopped playing kitten poker when I became a champion for the helpless. I figured that I had to give up some bad habits to be a good guy, like smoking, playing kitten poker, and drinking human blood." Spike explained as he put in a kitten.

"Just keep it up." Emma said as she looked at her hand. "I fold."

"I never thought that I would be playing kitten poker with a vampire. No offence." Paige said as she put a cat in. "Can I keep any kittens I win?"

"Sure, I'm saving them for my coffee shop. I can hand out a few." Emma said as she shrugged.

"What do you use kittens for?" Kyle asked as he put in a kitten. "And I raise another." He put in another kitten.

"Demon snacks." Emma answered as the others put in another kitten.

Paige paled. "You use kittens as demon snacks?"

"It's not like I eat them myself and I take real good care of them." Emma explained. "Everyone has odd tastes. Think of it as controlling the stray cat population."

Paige stared at her. "Are you sure that you're not a demon?"

"She's human. Not a trace of demon in her." Spike answered as he picked up a card.

"I… I can't do this." Paige pulled away. "This is just…"

"I understand." Emma held up her ring. "I have a back up player."

"What the hell is going on?" Buffy asked as she came up and saw the group. "You're playing kitten poker, again?!"

"It's just a little practice for tomorrow." Spike said, "Besides, it's not real kitten poker. Emma is loaning them out for us to use."

"No kitten poker." Buffy ordered as she picked up the cage and handed it to Emma. "Look, Emma, I can understand the blood habit, the dark clothes, and this tendency to stay away from the sun but no kitten poker."

"Yes, Ma'am." Emma sighed as she put away the cards. "What about Blood Rummy?"

"No demon games."

"Fine, I'll just play some ultraviolent video games that involve stealing cars and murdering people with Illyria." Emma said as she got up.

"You do that." Buffy sighed as she rubbed her head. "Oi…" She glared at Gunn. "And why did you go along with that? It's kittens."

"I played kitten poker before with my clients when I was with Evil Inc. It's not real kitten poker." Gunn said. "So, what are you and Angel going to do for dinner?"

"We don't know yet." Buffy replied and then frowned at him. "How did you know?"

"It's impossible to keep a secret here in Slaywarts."

"Of course."

"You can come over to the P3 in San Francisco." Paige offered, "It's just a hop skip and an orb from here."

"No thanks. We need someplace private and Angel hates night clubs."

"What about my coffee cafe? We are on the verge of opening and we have everything set up." Emma said as she raised her hand.

"Coffee cafe?" Buffy repeated, "How did you get a coffee cafe?"

"Oh, my insurance check came in and I managed to get a good deal on this place. You can use it if you want."

"Well, it's nice to see that you have something less dangerous than a vampire bar. Wait; is this a vampire coffee cafe?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, in fact these kittens are from that shop as demon treats. Like chocolate cake for humans." Emma said as she shrugged. "Is that a problem?"

"I am not taking Angel to a vampire coffee café. I know that vampires don't eat fluff unless there are fluff eating vampires out there but I can't let him get attacked by any vampire that would want him dead or turned into Angelus."

"It's not opened yet and Belthezar and Harmony can protect him if any vampires decide to come in."

"Harmony?!" Buffy repeated, "That vampire ditz?!"

"Yeah, she's my cashier and manager. She had a great resume, a recommendation from a… highly respected law firm and she had not eaten anyone for a year."

"That's not the point. Harmony was evil. She had eaten her family!"

"What vampire hasn't for their first meal?" Emma asked as she shrugged. "I promise if she eats any humans, she will be fired."

"That is so comforting."

"Emma, you said Belthezar." Paige repeated as she looked at her. "Who is he?"

"A demon of mine, given by this guy who had to pay a huge tab." Emma held out her ring. "Let me call on him. Belthezar." She called to him and the demon appeared.

"You rang?" He looked at Paige and stepped back. "Paige."

"Cole?! You're alive! Again!" Paige got up, "I swear, if you get anywhere near Phoebe…"

"I can't. My master controls me. It's part of my punishment for what I did." Belthezar said.

"You know this demon?" Kyle asked his girlfriend.

"Yeah, he's my ex-brother-in-law."

"That thing was Phoebe's husband?!"

"He looked more human than this." Paige shivered. "He tried to wipe me out of existence by altering space and time and made this weird alternate world. I don't get how you do it but…"

"I can't do that, my power is less than before. After I used the power that the Avatars gave me to alter reality, I was cursed to that ring and trapped in this form. I don't want to see Phoebe like this. I… I was wrong. I'm sorry. Don't tell her."

"Well, it's not your fault that you got insane, you did try. Don't worry, I won't tell Phoebe about this." Paige said.

"You had been granted power by the Avatars themselves." Kyle said as he came up. "Can you summon them?"

"I don't have the power any more. I don't know where they are. I only had the power for a little while before I decided to alter the timeline to get Phoebe back. When I got there, I lost the power and became Belthezar again. I don't know much about them. They say that they are beyond good and evil. I didn't get a good chance to figure it out. I was insane at the time. Sorry."

"No, you've been helpful." Kyle said and then Phoebe's voice rang out.

"Paige! We have to get going!"

"Belthezar!" Emma whispered and the demon vanished and the group watched Phoebe come in.

They stared at her and the woman asked, "What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing. Just some disturbing revelations about demons and kittens." Paige said as she got up. "I'm all set to go. Right, Kyle?" She stared at him.

"Sure." The man got up as well. "I have to follow up on my lead anyway."

"Good luck and we'll find out more of that ring." Paige took Kyle and Phoebe's hands and orbed out.

"That was interesting. Let's think up some games that doesn't involve kittens, blood, or anything else demony. We may have to test all of them out." Buffy said as she sat down with a pad and paper.

**XXX**

"Feel my vengeance evil car thieves!" Illyria proclaimed as she and Emma played on the Gamecube.

"We are the car thieves." Emma said as she fiddled with the controllers.

"I wish to do violence against the giant ape."

"Okay, switch games."

**XXX**

Xander glared at Gunn over the scrabble board. "That is not a real word!" The former carpenter exclaimed.

"Yes it is. Quitclaim deed is a real property deed which transfers (conveys) only that interest in the property in which the grantor has title. Commonly used in transfers of title or interests in title, quitclaims are often made to family members, divorcing spouses, or in other transactions between people well-known to each other. Quitclaim deeds are also used to clear up questions of full title when a person has a possible but unknown interest in the property. Grant deeds and warranty deeds guarantee (warrant) that the grantor has full title to the property or the interest the deed states is being conveyed, but quitclaim deeds do not warrant good title." Gunn quoted. (Yes, that's a real legal term from ). He paused and held his head. "Ow."

Xander rubbed his head. "I hate lawyers."

**XXX**

The music beat as Spike danced on the music video game with Andrew. The others watched as the lights flashed and the vampire swung his hips and stayed with the beat. "Go Spike. Go Spike!" The teenagers chanted.

Buffy and Angel watched. "Why don't you go up there?" Buffy asked. "I mean, you could do great."

"I don't dance." Angel said as he tried to picture himself dancing on that platform.

**XXX**

Andrew's fingers twitched as he looked at the field. He was against a Cyclops, a witch, a gargoyle, and a zombie. Finally, he unleashed a trap.

"Ah ha! I got it!" The man flipped his card over and revealed his face down card. "All of your monsters have only half their attack points now! You lost your life points!"

"Damn!" Faith snapped her fingers.

**XXX**

Spike stared down at Angel. "This is it. I will beat you down."

"Just try me." Angel dared.

The vampire took the basketball and dribbled it down the court at semi-prenatural speed. Angel ran passed him and snagged the ball. He was smaller and hence dodged faster. He dribbled the ball down and Spike picked him up and tossed him into the basket.

Angel looked around to see himself in the net. Spike laughed as he caught the ball. He looked at Buffy, Illyria, and Fred who were watching. "Does that count as one or two points?"

The puppet tensed up, pulled himself out, and jumped from the basket. "Die!" He landed on Spike and bashed his fists into his head.

"Hey!" Spike spun around dropping the ball and tried to pull him off.

**XXX**

Buffy looked at the card and then at Spike who was nursing a black eye. "Okay, Spike, what is the generic name given to Americans who left this country to live in Europe?"

"The expatriates. I used that word myself a few times." Spike replied.

"That was too easy." Gunn said.

"This is coming from the guy with enough legal knowledge to choke a cow." Buffy muttered. "This isn't good. We've tested out just about every game that doesn't deal with demons and nada. We can't use physical games since Darth is super strong. The only chance of defeating Darth Vader is these intellectual games."

"There is one game that we could try out." Angel said as he nodded. "Remember, Darth Vader is a klutz. Hopefully, it's not an act to lower our guard. We need to attack that weakness."

"What is that game?" Emma asked.

**XXX**

"This is kinda kinky." Gunn said as he stretched his foot. "I can't hold this for long."

"Neither can I." Emma moaned as she felt cramps in her back.

"Relax, just hold on." Spike said as he adjusted himself.

"Easy for you to say, you don't get cramps." Gunn snapped.

"Well, there are some perks to being dead."

"Left foot blue." Angel said as he watched the group play Twister. Gunn and Emma tried to move their feet and ended up collapsing on top of each other.

The two humans stared at each other and finally Emma said, "You can get off now."

"Right." Gunn got up and helped her up. "Sorry about that."

"I don't mind."

Spike got up and said, "Oh yeah! That was great."

"You are incredibly limber." Andrew commented, "Is it a vampire thing?"

"I've been on the rack and been tortured for days on end. That game was nothing." Spike said as he rubbed his shoulders.

"Then, it's settled, the game we will use to decide the fate of the world is Twister." Buffy said as she got up. She looked at the clock and cursed, "Damn it. It's 7:30! I have to go! Date." She and Angel rushed off.

"About time." Gunn said.

**XXX**

Buffy and Angel sighed as they sat in her car parked out in the deserted parking lot. In their laps were burgers and fries from the all night Fast Food Shack. "Sorry it's not any better. I think that they might stare at us if they see a puppet eat." Buffy said as she ate her burger.

"Not at all. I like the privacy." Angel looked down at his burger. "Say, I think that this is the first dinner date we had. I mean, a dinner that involves the both of us actually eating."

Buffy paused and nodded. "Yeah, it is. Oh no."

"What?"

"We are alone together on a date in the middle of a deserted parking lot which is in the middle of the Hellmouth." Buffy pointed out.

Angel's jaw dropped. "You don't think…" The two looked around.

"We could- No! I won't jinx it! The whole irony conversation thingy." Buffy said as she shook her head. "Is it bad to expect a demon to attack us just as we are actually happy?"

"Not really, I was half expecting it but I didn't want to jinx it either." Angel said as he lifted his coat to reveal a knife.

"Right."

"Yeah."

Unseen by the two, a huge green demon lurked behind the bushes. He licked his lips as he walked towards the car only to be stabbed in the back by a sword. The demon turned around to see a bleached blond man in black looking at him. "Do you mind leaving the two lovebirds alone?"

Angel and Buffy sat there eating as just a few yards away, Spike and the demon fought. "Anyway, Buffy, I know that you're not done baking yet." Angel said, "But, I was thinking that, how do you know when cookies are done when you don't do a taste test?"

"Not the cookie metaphor again." Buffy sighed, "I just thought of that on a spur of the moment."

"Sounds pretty rehearsed to me." Angel said as behind the car, the demon stepped forward only to be pulled back by Spike. "Although, I'm not fully ready to start eating yet, I wouldn't mind a taste test."

"How can you not fully start eating yet?" Buffy asked as Spike punched the demon with his bare fists.

"I…" Angel looked down. "Well, I'm not atomically correct. Puppet thing."

Buffy's jaw dropped. "So, you can't… eat my cookies."

Spike got up and started to walk away only be to dragged back by the demon. He grabbed a huge rock and started bashing the creature with it.

"Yeah. I didn't want you to find out about this because it's embarrassing." Angel said as he looked down.

The demon got up and flung Spike to the side.

"I don't blame you. But, that doesn't matter. We both had been through a lot of changes so we have to start out slow." Buffy said as she put her hand onto his head.

Spike jumped back with his game face on and ripped off the demon's head. The headless demon grabbed him and started bashing his chest.

Angel just looked down. "I'm patient. I have to warn you, I don't know how long it will be until I become a real guy again."

"I can wait in the meantime; we can take small bites until you can fully eat again." Buffy said confidently. Angel paused and then looked behind the car just after Spike pulled the demon's body into the bushes. "What?"

"I was half expecting some vicious demon to attack us by now. It's that every time we had a chance to pour our hearts out, something happens." Angel said, "I'm paranoid."

"I don't blame you." Buffy said as she put on her seat belt. "We better go." She said as she turned on the car and drove off. As the car pulled out of the parking lot, Spike stepped out of the bushes. His coat was ripped up and he was sporting bruises that will last several days.

"The things I do for Buffy." He grumbled as he limped off.

To Be Continued…


	7. Darth Vader Unmasked!

I know this took a while but I have a bit of a hard time figuring out this fic. So, I need some help in the reactions to the end of this fic. Thanks. On with the fic!

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Seven

By Marie Nomad

Angel yawned as the sun rose and he got out of his bed. It had been a tiresome night with the games and the date with Buffy. He had to smile at the date. They actually had a date and no one decided to attack. Either it was a break given by the Powers That Be or that the new Slayers were doing a good job, he didn't know. As long as he and Buffy have a chance of really being together, he didn't care.

"Well, not really together. I can't eat her cookies." Angel sighed as he thought of his problem. What was Cordy thinking when she turned him into a puppet and forgot to put it there? He had stopped sleeping naked since he felt so awkward waking up every day and not seeing it.

He took off his pajamas and then his underwear to get into his new clothes that he bought from the puppet accessory store. It was a doll clothes store which had the type of clothes he need. True, most of the clothes he wouldn't be caught dead in (in every sense of the word) but there were good ones. He glanced down to see something growing down there. "Oh my god…" It wasn't complete but something is growing down there. Quickly, he put on his clothes and cried out, "Yes!"

**XXX**

Roger Wydham Pryce and his wife, Ellen Pryce, walked through the hallways. Roger has his head in a bandage and he was walking with a cane but he had healed a great deal thanks to some magic. Andrew nodded towards the two. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Pryce. You are looking well."

"Thank you. Where is my daughter?"

"Oh, she should be around here somewhere." Andrew said as he looked around. "She's been busy helping us with Darth Vader although she is a bit on the dark side herself. Emma is like Piccolo who had been dark and is now slowly starting to go to the lighter side. She's this way." The short man gestured to the couple and they walked through the hallway.

"I understand that there are living demons in this place." Roger said as he frowned again. "I don't like it."

Andrew laughed nervously. "Oh, there's nothing to worry about. The only demons here are good demons, like Spike!" He gushed when Spike came down the hallway. He was cut in a few places and had a black eye. "What happened to you?"

"Just a fight with a nasty Elgruch Demon. " Spike shrugged and then looked at Roger. "Hello, Roger! Nice to see you out of that coma."

Roger glared at Andrew. "What is this… thing doing here?"

Andrew looked at Spike and then at the former watcher. "Spike? He helps train the slayers. He's such a good trainer."

"Ah, we met before right?" Spike asked as he smiled at him.

"Yes, We've met. 1963. My colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed two of my men before you escaped." Roger recalled as he clutched his cane.

He was stunned that Roger had said the exact same thing from when the cyborg came around impersonating him. He had to give the robot makers credit, they really did their research. "Oh right. I thought that was real. Don't worry; I'm off human blood now." Spike waved off. "Your daughter has been a real peach."

"Don't tell me that you and she…" Eleanor paled.

"Nah, I have a girlfriend or two depending how you look at it." Spike recalled. "I have to go. Bye, Roger. Ellen." He walked off.

"He really has changed." Andrew insisted sensing the evil looks that the two elders are giving him, "He's not evil any more."

"You actually let him walk around like that? What other demons walk freely in this place?" Roger demanded.

"Greetings." Illyria said as she and Fred came up.

"Hi, I'm Fred and this is Illyria." Fred introduced herself. "I met your cybernetic imposter some time ago so I know who you are. I'm sorry about Wesley."

"That's okay." Eleanor looked at Illyria. "What is she?"

"I was a god who used to crush humans like they are insects. Now, I and my counterpart tutor math and science." Illyria replied as she looked back.

"We're getting the stuff ready for the big fight." Fred explained, "I just kinda sensed you and I want to meet you before things get crazy."

"We are preparing to do a one-on-one battle in the Twister game." Illyria added on.

Fred and Illyria paused and saw Roger and Eleanor gawking at them. Fred couldn't help but feel awkward. She should be friends with these two since she was close to their son and daughter. "We better go. Bye." The two walked off.

"What is your definition of 'good demon'?" Roger asked, "An ex-god who compares humans to insects."

"I understand that while Illyria acts a little… haughty, she is good. She hasn't killed any humans in over a year. Other than that, there are no other questionable demons around here." Andrew said firmly.

"Excuse me." Angel said as he ran up. "Hi, I'm Angel." He aid as he held out his hand. "Sorry about your son."

Roger just looked down at him. "The vampire… I heard that you had become a puppet."

Angel pulled his hand back and remembered the strangely similar greeting the cyborg imposter gave him. "Yeah, I'm on the verge of being human. Long story. Anyway, have you seen Buffy? I need to tell her something very important." Angel said as he shook with excitement.

"That way, I think." Andrew said as he pointed to the gym. "What's making you so hoppity?"

"Oh… nothing. Nothing at all. Bye." He rushed off.

"I've never seen him in such a good mood." Andrew said as he smiled. "He's going out with Buffy again."

"How thrilling, what about Emma?" Roger asked feeling more frustrated by the second.

"Oh, this way. It's just that with this place, it's so hard to know who will stop by next. Much like Babylon 5." Andrew explained, "But, I can most assure you that we have strict security here." He said as he led the couple down the hallway. Unseen by them, Darth Vader walked behind them and into the other room.

**XXX**

Buffy looked over the platform. "Looking good." She said as she looked over the game.

"So, that's my stage, eh?" Spike said as he came up from behind her with his blood bag in hand.

"Yeah, we're relying on you to do this since you're the most flexible and you could handle the strain." Buffy looked at Spike to see his injuries. "What happened to you?"

"Demon, he was giving a harder fight than usual. It won't hurt my game. How's the date?"

"Fine. No demons attacking." Buffy shrugged, "It was good. We actually ate together."

"Jolly good. Glad to see that you smiling and not with the Immortal." Spike said, "Even if it's with Peaches."

"Hi, Buffy." Angel said as he half skipped through the door.

"You're looking happy." Spike observed, "Soul still there?"

"Yup but that's not it." Angel said eagerly and then looked up at Spike. "Do you mind? I have something very important to tell Buffy and I don't want you to listen."

"What's so important that you can't tell me? You can't keep secrets from me." Spike asked as he knelt down and patted Angel on the head.

Angel reached into his coat and got out a stake. "Get out." He threatened as he pointed the stake at the blond vampire.

"Oh ho!" Spike held up his hands. "Wee Puppet Man is getting serious on me. Fine. Fine. I have to get ready for the twister thing anyway." He sprinted away.

Angel watched and as soon as Spike was out of the room, he led Buffy to a storage closet and closed the door. Then, he listened to the outside and then hugged Buffy and said, "This morning, I found out that I am starting to… grow it back. I'm getting ready to eat your cookies."

Buffy's eyes widened. She couldn't believe it. She knew how embarrassed Angel was about his condition. Now, he was on his way to being a real man in every sense of the word. "You mean, it just popped back?"

"No, it's still small but I'm getting it back and maybe I can eat your cookies." Angel said hopped back and forth again.

"Oooh. Is it felt?"

"So far, yeah. It might tickle but I don't know." Angel confessed.

"Can I see?"

Angel put his hands over his pants. "No! I mean, it's still small and really unformed and it's kinda embarrassing."

"Just a peek."

"No!"

"There's not much there yet." Darth Vader said as he stepped out of the shadow.

Buffy reached into her jacket and got out Mr. Pointy. "What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting and… I got lost." Darth Vader said as he looked at Angel who was looking angry and embarrassed.

"Oh come on! You were stalking!" Angel accused, "I was an expert stalker for two hundred and fifty years."

"I know." Darth said as he turned on the light. "I was just observing the situation. I have to play Twister?"

"Got a problem with that?" Buffy argued, "Because if you do, I know a few slayers who want a piece of you."

"No, not at all. I was hoping for Scrabble or Chess." Darth muttered, "But, I accept your challenge and I will not hurt anyone today."

"Good." Buffy nodded as she relaxed slightly.

"Ummm… Darth, how did you know about the side effect of my condition?" Angel asked hesitantly.

Darth crossed his arms and replied, "I have various forms of X-ray vision."

Buffy put her arms over her chest. She had dealt with demons with x-ray vision before but those demons are ugly and wouldn't google at a woman like herself. Right now, she felt very naked. "You… have X-ray vision. Are you peeking at me?"

"… No." Darth looked away. "I mostly scan for weapons or any weaknesses. That level of X-ray vision is only used to locate mystical tattoos. I don't peek."

"What about me!" Angel yelled as he glared up at Darth Vader.

"I was curious. Don't worry; I haven't seen anything that I have not seen before." Darth Vader looked away again. "Show me to the game site."

"Of course." Buffy opened the door and Darth walked out with Buffy and Angel trailing him out of the range of Darth's X-ray vision.

**XXX**

Gunn moaned as he took a couple of aspirins. The stabbing in his brain wasn't getting any better. It was like he was having a vision only without the vision part. Ever since the fight at the alley so long ago, his head hurts. "Damn migraines."

"You should take a look at that." Fred suggested, "I can sense your pain and you're not the type to complain about it."

"Nah, just stress." The black man started to rubbed his temples. "Every time I use the law knowledge in my brain after the last apocalypse, it hurts but I'm used to it. So, how's Spike treating you?"

"Good."

Gunn frowned. He loved Fred even after their relationship was demoted to just friendship. Ever since Fred came back, he watched her to make sure that she was all there, so to speak. "Fred, this has been bothering me but why did you jump on Spike so fast? Wes has been dead for only a few months and now you're shacking up with the undead English guy."

"Because... I don't want to hesitate any more." Fred said as she crossed her arms. "I'm dead. The last time I took too long with Wes, I died and so did he. I can't make that mistake again. He would have understood."

"Yeah. He moved on with Illyria. Sorta." Gunn took a deep breath. "I don't have anything against you and Spike but… you don't have to act like a pair of undead bunnies. For all we know, you and Spike could outlive all of us."

"Or we could die tomorrow. Thanks for the concern, Charles, but I'll be fine. I am still worried about you."

Gunn chuckled and then started laughing. "Damn it, Fred. You're dead and you're worried about me because of a little headache? You underestimate me, girl! I'm Charles Gunn, I had suffered way more than just a headache."

"Just take my advice and see someone about it." Fred said firmly and then stared out. "Really, Ria? Charles, Darth Vader is here."

"Let's go." Gunn said as he reached under his desk and got out his handy hub cap ax. He knew that Darth might not be hurt by a simple ax but he had to be armed just in case.

He and Fred marched out of the room and into the gym expecting a tense situation between Darth and the other slayers. They looked in to see Darth Vader lounging in his chair sipping his tea through a straw as the other girls studied him. "He's so mysterious." Jennifer whispered to the group.

"Hello, Darth Vader." Fred said as politely as she could. "You seem well."

Darth Vader nodded toward the ghost. "I am." He looked at Gunn and then turned away. "When will the challenge start?"

"Soon." Buffy said as she came up. "We're getting everything ready."

"What is that thing doing here?" Roger said as he and his wife walked into the door.

Darth visibly stiffened and he turned around with a gun in his hand. "Go! I will not have him watching me."

"Why not?" Roger demanded, "I have just as much right to be here as the next."

Darth took out his gun and shot at Roger. His cane broke in two and he fell over. "Roger!" Eleanor exclaimed as she helped him up.

"Leave now." Darth Vader threatened as he aimed his gun at Roger's head.

"No!" Angel hopped onto Darth's arm and stared right into the helmet. "If you kill him, we will fight you and we'll destroy the ring!"

Darth looked down at the puppet. "You are serious." The rogue commented, "You don't fear death?"

"I've been in worse situations than this." Angel glared at him. "Roger, Ellen, go. We'll take care of this."

"Now wait one second." Roger growled and then Eleanor took his arm.

"Roger, please. I don't want you to get hurt again. Let the Buffy and her friends deal with this." The older woman pleaded.

A long moment passed as Roger, Darth, and Angel looked at each other. Roger turned around and said, "I will deal with you when I'm healed." He and Eleanor started to walk away.

"I will enjoy killing you." Darth vowed as he lifted his arm with the puppet still attached. "You can get off now."

"Oh, right." Angel hopped off. "I just didn't want you to hurt him again." Angel warned, "I may be a puppet but I won't let you hurt any more people."

"What will you do? Kill me?" Darth laughed bitterly. "Oh well, let's go with the challenge."

**XXX**

"This is not what I expect when I heard this will decide the fate of the world." Faith muttered to Robin as they and all of the students gathered in the gym to watch the great Twister showdown between Spike and Darth Vader. It was an intense match between the two. Spike and Darth are not bound by discomfort. The vampire had been tortured and chained and so he was flexible. Darth also seemed to have great tolerance to pain and flexible. The two went into positions that boggled the mind and even made some of the more experienced slayer girls go 'ew'.

"You will fail, vampire!" Darth Vader yelled as from his position.

"Yeah yeah, that's what you said for the past hour. Can't you just trip or something?" Spike taunted with his hands behind him and his right leg straight out and his left one tucked under him.

"I can do this forever."

"So can I!"

"But, I don't need to drink blood."

"… You will trip."

"Left hand red." Buffy announced.

The two shifted their positions and had their bodies crossed over each other. "Why did you want me to play Twister? If you are bloody smart, you should've known that vampires are flexible." Spike asked. When the group started, Darth requested that only one person play against him and that person was Spike.

"I enjoy a challenge. Besides, I hate you."

"Take a number. I have a lot of enemies. Several of them are in this gym right now."

"I am different."

"How? You're just about like every other mysterious man in black." Spike paused, "I got it! It's so obvious! You want Buffy!"

At once, Darth Vader fell over and stood up. "No I don't! What makes you think that I want her? Granted, she is a lovely woman but she's not my type!" He looked down and sighed, "I lost."

"Sorry, that was an interesting match." Spike said as he patted the rogue on the back.

"Shut up!" Darth slapped his hand away. "You tricked me!"

"I am just doing what those people in reality shows do to win. Is that so wrong?"

"You watch that garbage?"

"You don't?"

"Guys!" Buffy yelled as she came up. "Darth Vader, you lost the challenge so you must remove the helmet and answer three questions."

"I must keep my word. But, I don't want a public spectacle. I wish to do it in a room, more privacy. I won't attack you."

"Fine. But, we will be armed." Buffy warned as the faculty went into the conference room. Darth Vader sighed as he walked while crossing his arms. He looked at the group, Faith, Robin, Spike, Illyria, Fred, Angel, Emma, and Gunn.

"I am not evil." Darth said, "I want to save the world from the likes of you." He came up to Faith. "You and I are a lot alike. We are bound by fate." He glanced at Emma and then Gunn and then Angel, and finally at Fred. "Do not hate me for what I had done what was needed to be done."

"Too late. You ruined my brother's grave." Emma said as she glared at him. The man took off his helmet and looked at Emma. Emma's eyes widened as she collapsed onto her knees. "No."

"I was your brother." Wesley stated.

To Be Continued…


	8. Oh My Goddess

Okay, I had been thinking about this and the past few chapters didn't go the way I wanted. So, I am completely rewriting the past two chapters and redoing the future storyline. The play involving Buffy's life will go on but as a separate story.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Eight

By Marie Nomad

The sun shone in England at the Deeper Well entrance. "Ah." Persephone said as she walked through the portal. "That dimension was nice." She took off her sunglasses and called out, "Droygn! Droygn, your goddess is back! Be ready to do some serious worshipping" She paused as she waited. "That's odd."

She walked into the tree and into the cave. On a stone slab with his hands crossed over his chest was the battered remains of Droygn. "Droygn!" She ran up to the warrior's body and stared at it. His death was that of a massive beating, blood drunk from him like a vampire, and a snapped neck. "Hades, give him movement so he may speak one last time." The goddess chanted. A faint glowed covered the corpse and he sat up.

Droygn coughed as fresh air filled his decaying lungs. "Forgive me, my goddess, I had failed you. The God King Illyria was released and the man responsible had slain me."

"The God King Illyria! This is bad. Who had slain you in battle, my guardian?"

"Angel, he is a vampire with a soul who had been here before. The God King Illyria had lost most of her power. She could not do what she had done before. The shell she inhabits is too fragile." Droygn said as he gazed at her.

"I see. Thank you, Drogyn the Truth Sayer. Rest in the Eternal Fields. You had earned your reward." The goddess reached up and kissed Drogyn on the forehead. The body turned to dust and Persephone put away her bags.

"Someone this powerful to take down Drogyn, must be some vampire. I will find you, Angel." She vanished into her portal.

**XXX**

Rain fell on the Academy for Gifted Girls as Buffy and the other faculty members sat around the meeting room. Just a couple of hours ago, the Slaywarts gang discovered something horrible. Darth Vader, the man who had terrorized the faculty and the students, was revealed to be Wesley Wydham Pryce, former watcher, former champion, and maybe former friend.

"I can't believe it." Gunn muttered, "Wes is Darth Vader. Are you sure he's not some copy or an imposter?"

"Not that I can see. Whatever he is, he has Wesley's soul." Willow shook her head. "He must have been a product of high level soul transference magic."

"I never heard of a soul being grafted on a machine." Emma said as she looked at some notes. "It's too complicated of a process. I thought he was dead. How could he do this to his own family? Wesley is not the type to do this."

"He's just confused. He'll find his way out." Gunn supported as he took her hand. "I know English."

"So do I." Angel added. "This is serious. We have to find out as much as we can about Wesley and how he ended up as Darth Vader. He's dead, I cremated the body myself."

"I agree." Buffy started writing out instructions. "We have to find out everything we can about Wesley. Everything else goes onto the back burner."

All of a sudden, Illyria stood up and looked at the door. A woman dressed in a long Ancient Roman robe. She had long brown hair, golden earrings, and a long scarf. "Greetings, I'm here for Angel."

Angel ducked under the table and Buffy asked, "Why?"

"I am his betrothed."

There was a moment of silence and finally Buffy sighed. "Okay, this is a priority. Who are you? And what do you mean betrothed?"

"He is my mate won by death." The woman said as she walked up to Spike. "Not bad… a bit leaner than I expected but I love your eyes. Nice and blue, what I expect of a vampire named 'Angel'."

"Whoa! I'm not Angel, I'm Spike! He may have been my Grandsire but we don't look a thing alike." Spike held up his hands.

"Spike?" The woman frowned. "Oh right. The other vampire with the soul who is annoying. I have watched the reels." She looked at Illyria. "You should have gone back to the Deeper Well."

"I am amused by this place." Illyria replied.

"Guys!" Buffy yelled as she marched up to the strange woman. "Who are you and why are you betrothed to Angel?"

"Ah… I am Persephone, the Goddess of the Deeper Well and Angel killed Droygn making him my betrothed. So, just point me to him and we can start right away!" Persephone looked around eagerly as Angel crawled into the vents.

"Start what?" Gunn asked as he gawked at her.

"What do you think?" Persephone gasped, "I haven't had any in a year and I'm ready! Where is he?"

"He's… not here." Buffy fibbed as she took Persephone and sat her down. "We are in a middle of a crisis so can you just wait, take a tour of the academy or the city?"

"No way! I can't do anything until I get my newest consort. I am going to get him." Persephone ran out of the room. "Angel! Angel, you can run but you can't hide!"

"Oh no you don't." Buffy marched out after the goddess.

Headmaster Wood rubbed his head as he tried to understand what just happened. Spike spoke up. "Looks like Buffy and Angel are going to be busy for a while."

"Great. All right, we'll go and find out more about Wes Vader."

**XXX**

"Things have changed." Wesley said as he sat at a table with several pictures around him. "They know who I am."

"That makes things more interesting." A figure said in the shadows. "You are doing the right thing, Wesley."

"That is why I am eating the apple, metaphorically speaking." Wesley said as he studied the symbols. "You know that you could very well cease to exist if this does not work."

"I don't care."

**XXX**

"Oh, Angel." The goddess pranced as she ran through the hallways. "You can run but you can't hide…" She sang as she poked her head into a class room.

Angel heard everything as he crawled through the air vents. For once, he was thankful for his small size. He didn't want to deal with Persephone. He went out into his office where Buff was waiting.

"Buffy!" He exclaimed.

"What is going on?" Buffy fumed as she towered over him. "Who was this Droygn guy? Someone Angelus killed?"

"No…" Angel shifted. "Well, it's when I was going to fight against the Circle of the Black Thorn. I was not exactly thinking right back then but… part of my plan to take down the Circle of the Black Thorn involves me having to pretend that I'm evil and… well… I… kinda dragged Droygn in because I had to convince everyone that I was evil so I… hired an assassin to kill him and make him come to LA where he convinced my friends that I was evil and then Hamilton grabbed him so I had no choice but come in and kill him in front of the Circle. I made sure his body went back to the Deeper Well and given a decent burial. I had no idea he had… a wife."

"Oi…" Buffy collapsed into the chair. She heard of some of the things Angel did after he left Sunnydale but nothing like this. "So, in order for you to infiltrate the Circle you killed an innocent man who was a guardian of some place. Great… why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I was afraid that you would be mad at me." Angel said as he looked down in a cute sad puppet way.

"And you were hoping that this whole thing would just disappear on its own?" Buffy huffed. "I can't believe you never told me you did this. The next thing you would tell me is that you had some secret son hiding away somewhere. What are we going to do? I am not in the mood to have to fight some goddess again, especially if she's not planning to end the world."

"I'm sorry I didn't know this would happen. Maybe, I should just give up and talk to Persephone. Let her know that I have a girlfriend and that I can't be her consort." Angel said logically.

"Uh huh…" Buffy crossed her arms. "From my past experiences with goddesses, they don't take no for an answer. Although, maybe she won't be so interested when she finds out that her latest consort is a three foot tall felt puppet."

"Yeah."

"So, is there anything else you haven't told me?" Buffy asked coldly.

"Ehhh…" Angel looked down.

"Oh Angel!" Persephone gushed as her footsteps thumped through the halls.

"GAH!" He jumped back up into the vents and the goddess slammed the door open.

"There you-" Persephone looked around and pouted. "Oooh… why do men have to be so evasive! Coward!" She ran back out and started her prancing. She paused and wondered out loud, "Hmmm… how small he could be to fit into the vents? Oh well. As long as the right parts are the right size, I don't care." She laughed evilly as she ran off again.

Buffy thought of what Persephone said and shuddered. "Ew."

**XXX**

"Hmmm… uh huh. Yeah. I see. Thanks, sir." Gunn hung up and said, "Well, Arnold said that the people who made him haven't been in business for years."

"There goes that company." Emma said as she crossed off the list. "Say, Charles, you knew Wesley, why do you think he did this stuff to me?"

"You mean the burning down of the bar? No idea. He could be worried about you being around all those vamps."

Emma rolled her eyes. "But, that place was my home. Those vampires wouldn't hurt me. Not after the pact I made."

"What pact?" Gunn asked.

"It's nothing of your concern." Emma typed on the keyboard. "I can take care of myself."

The lawyer just looked away. "Yeah, but you better be careful."

"Good."

"Uh huh."

The two stared at each other and that moment was shattered by Persephone opening the door. "Is Angel here?" She asked.

"No." Gunn said as he glared at her. "Look, Angel's not exactly the right guy for you."

"Please, if he's strong enough to take down my Droygn, he's good enough for me." Persephone smiled as she twirled her hair. "As soon as I can find him. He's so fast." She ran off again.

"Any idea what to do about her?" Gunn asked Emma.

"Not a bloody clue."

**XXX**

"So, you know this Persephone goddess?" Spike asked as he and Illyria were looking through tomes on how souls can be attached to bodies.

"She was very young when I died." Illyria recalled, "She was irrational and impulsive. Hades took her into his cave to help her grow up. They became lovers."

"I thought that was a myth, on the other hand, so are vampires." Spike shrugged. "Is she the type to reek vengeance if she gets mad like Glory?"

Illyria tilted her head. "I do not know. She was considered to be meek who had shown mercy to weaker creatures but that was eons ago."

Spike glanced at Fred who was just staring out into space. "Hey, you okay, Fred?"

"I'm just doing mental equations to relax. I can't write in my noncorporeal form so I am doing it in my head."

"Still messed up about Wesley being alive?"

"Completely. I love you, Spike. You have really helped me and Illyria cope with all that is going on but I love Wesley too. I swore to myself I would go on for him but now it's like I betrayed him." Fred wrapped her hands around her body. "I saw the way Wesley looked at me. He was so hurt."

"Hey, you did nothing wrong. We made sure the body was destroyed. All that was left was ashes. There was no way that you could have known." Spike said in his comforting tone of voice.

"So was Darla."

"What?"

"Never mind." Fred shook her head. "Can we hold off on the relationship thing until I get my stuff straightened out? With me like this and Wesley out there…"

"Say no more. I've dealt with chits with 'issues' before and I know when to hold back. But, I will still be here for you if you need me." Spike took a deep breath. Ever since he started going out with Fred, some part of him was afraid that Wesley will show up and take her away. Now, Wes has become evil and Fred was getting ripped apart by the seams. He can't add on to the burden.

"Thanks."

**XXX**

"Oooh!" Persephone said as she sat down to take a small break. She had been running around the building for several hours and nothing. The mortals were giving off a mystical vibe which interfered with her senses and she can sense that Angel was running around in the air vents. "Isn't a goddess good enough for you!" She yelled.

Buffy watched from around the corner. "She looks mad." She reached into her recorder and said, "For the past few hours, Persephone has been chasing Angel causing chaos. The good news is that she has not sucked anyone's brains out yet. The bad news is that I can't hurt her unless she's a threat to everyone else. At least, that is what the others told me."

"Looks like I have to take drastic measures." Persephone said as she closed her eyes. Buffy watched anxiously. "Wind spirits heed my plea, find my mate to be…" Giggles came from the air and wind flew all around.

The vents opened up and Angel flew out and Persephone caught him. "Gotcha!" The goddess held Angel as he struggled to get out. "Huh? You're Angel but…" She held him up and studied him. "CUTE!" The goddess gushed as she hugged Angel to her bosom. "YOU'RE THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE THING I HAD EVER SEEN. I'M TAKING YOU BACK TO MY CAVE WITH ME AND WE WILL HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER!" She gushed as she hugged him tightly.

"Let go of my puppet." Buffy growled as she tapped Persephone on the shoulder.

"No! He's mine!" Persephone said as she held Angel tightly. "He killed my Droygn and hence is mine."

"He's mine first!" Buffy yelled as she grabbed Angel by the arm.

"Mine!"

"Mine!" The two went into a tug of war. Angel screamed as he was being ripped by the combined strength of a slayer and a goddess.

"HELP!"

"Angel!" Buffy gasped as she let go and the puppet flew into Persephone's arms.

"Persephone…" Angel said hesitantly. "I… I'm so sorry about Droygn but I… I'm with Buffy and that I'm not much… I'm not the man that I was before."

"Let's just see." Persephone waved her hand and a portal appeared. She dragged Angel in and came out of another portal looking disheveled. Angel put on his pants. "Oh this is just great!" She scowled. "I can't be one with him like this! Oh well, I'll just ask Liber to do a little modifying…."

"Wait!" Buffy held up her hand. "Who's Liber?"

"God of Fertility. He's great with his hands."

"You can't do this. He… he belongs here." Buffy said as she glared at Persephone. Deep down, she wished that the goddess could go ahead and start threatening people so she can kill her.

"Look here, mortal. According to the unwritten laws of the Deeper Well, there is a guardian of the Deeper Well, that guardian is given eternal youth and will live until he is killed by another. When that happens that killer becomes the new guardian; that is the way things work." Persephone huffed as she tucked Angel under her arm.

"Please! He's a three foot tall felt puppet! He can't handle being in a cave. He can't even drive a car by himself." Buffy explained.

The goddess looked at Angel again. "True… but I can just ask Chronos to reverse time so he can make Angel into the vampire with a soul again."

"No! Wait." Buffy shook her head. "If you do that, Angel will be a danger to you. You see, Angel's curse has a loophole, if he ever experience a moment of perfect happiness, he will lose his soul and become totally evil. One time as Angelus, he tried to end the world by opening the Alcatha portal."

Persephone frowned again. "This is stupid! I never met a guy as complicated at you! You don't understand, I need a consort to keep the other sleeping gods in check or there will be chaos. Nothing like this has ever happened before. You guys are the most difficult group of mortals I had ever faced; Crusaders, Spartans, and even salesmen are less difficult than you. Whatever happened to the good old days when a goddess can make a request and the mortals would run around to satisfy her every whim?"

"That's the way it works, goddess." Buffy said as she crossed her arms. "These days, you have to be a pop star for people to worship you."

"A pop star?"

"Mortals who are paid to sing and look good."

"Any idiot can do that!"

"I know."

Angel looked at her. She reminded him of Cordelia back when she first arrived in LA but she seemed to care. He really didn't know what he was doing when he killed Droygn. "I'm really sorry about this. Wasn't there any unwritten rules about… say that guardian was killed by a woman, how do you find a new one?"

"Then, that woman gets to be my consort. I'm a bisexual goddess."

Angel fidgeted again. "Well, what if I help you find a new consort? I know a few potentials."

"Hmmm… that sounds reasonable. I am interested in talking with God King Illyria for a while and I can leave my domain alone for a while longer. If there any disturbances in the Deeper Well, I can get there in an instant."

"Great."

"But, I must remain with you at all times. I will not have you escape your responsibility."

"Great." Buffy said as she clenched her teeth in a fake Buffy smile.

**XXX**

Angel had faced many obstacles in the past. He had survived Hell literally, being at the bottom of the ocean for three months without blood; he had fought for the lives of others and even managed to survive several board room meetings. Now, he was going to face his greatest task; setting up blind dates.

"So, Persephone, what are you looking for in a man or woman?"

The goddess pondered. "I want someone strong and can handle himself in any situation. Someone who can fight. Demon blood is okay. He must be virile."

"Okay…" Angel typed on his laptop. "What about his personality?"

"A personality is nice."

The puppet stared at her and then sighed. "I mean, what is the idea man for you? Let's forget the guardian thing for a minute and just look for someone you would love."

"Love?"

"Love. Haven't you ever been in love before?"

"Hard to say. I had fallen for many gods and mortals. We gods have different standards of love than mortals. I was in love with Hades. Say what you will about him, he knows how to treat a woman. He was very… out of the box. He loves to defy others and fate itself. He was… amazing until that bitch Xena killed him."

"X-Xena! She was real? I thought she was a character in a TV show."

"Oh no, she was very real. In fact, she became my second consort for a while…" Persephone said as she frowned. "She wasn't that bad as a lover. Tell me, Angel. I know of things of this modern world but what is your concept of love?"

"Well…" Angel looked up. "I always think that love is something that you don't know you have until you feel it. You meet someone and there was a connected between you and you want to be with him or her forever. Sometimes, it takes a while for you to see that love."

"So, if I meet up with as many mortal champions as possible, I will know my next guardian!"

"Yeah. I suppose it's like that."

"Great!" Persephone put her fingers on Angel's forehead. "You're right, you know a bunch of potential champions! Let's get started." She picked up the puppet and disappeared into a portal.

**XXX**

Oz and Nina meditated as they stood at a mountain top. "Do not inhibit the wolf, become the wolf. The wolf is your ally and you can tame him." Oz said slowly.

"I see." Nina said as she closed her eyes.

"Go into a deep trance and focus within." Oz said as he closed his eyes.

Persephone appeared through a portal with Angel in tow. "Hi! I'm looking for a new guardian! Will you be my lover?"

Oz shook his head. "No thank you. My duty is to help the werewolves of the world."

"Awww…" Persephone pouted as Angel struggled to keep quiet the second he saw Nina there. "Okay, bye." She left.

Nina opened her eyes. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Just keep on focusing."

**XXX**

Conner was lugging his massive bookbag through the Harvard campus. Out of a portal, a woman appeared and said, "Greetings, I am Persephone. Will you be my champion?"

"Not Conner!" Angel argued.

"Who's this?" Conner asked almost unfazed.

"I'm Persephone, Goddess of the Deeper Well. I'm looking for a consort."

"I can't. I was in a relationship with another goddess who was sort of my daughter. I'd rather not go through that again. Besides, I have a boat load of schoolwork and a girlfriend."

"Awww… okay, if you change your mind." Persephone handed him a talisman. "Bye."

"Bye, son." Angel waved as Persephone walked into the portal.

"I hate it when that happens." Conner sighed as he walked down the path.

**XXX**

The Immortal sighed as he fingered his glass. "Another shot please."

A portal opened up and Persephone looked at him. "Adonis?"

"Persephone. How was the Deeper Well?"

"Okay, I'm looking for a consort."

"Ah." The Immortal downed another drink. Angel watched as the empty glasses piled on each other. He had never seen him look so pathetic.

"What happened to you?"

The Immortal sighed as he swigs his full drink around. "I used to be a feared man. Nothing could faze me. I had humiliated countless good and evil champions. I was powerful. I had hordes of demons at my feet. Then, I met Buffy. There was something about her that made me fall to my knees. The day she broke up with me, the world just falls apart."

"Oh yeah." Angel agreed and then closed his mouth.

"I must… be drinking too much." The Immortal laid his head on the table.

"I better go." Persephone walked backwards and then jumped into a portal.

**XXX**

"Let me get this straight. Angel has to be matchmaker to a goddess?" Gunn asked as he snickered.

"Oh yeah. Since the old puppet isn't 'qualified' to be Persephone's consort, she has to stick with him until he finds her a mate." Spike explained as he laughed.

"That would take a while."

"Oooh!" Persephone growled as she walked out of a portal with a dizzy Angel in her arms. "I never met so many men who are not interested in being my consort! In my time, there are men who would give their left hand just to be a goddess' consort!"

"These are modern times." Spike shrugged.

"Maybe, you're trying too hard." Angel said as he recovered. "You shouldn't tell everyone that you are a goddess. Maybe, you can go around meeting men the way modern women do."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Sooner or later, you should meet a man who meets your standards."

"And you are the expert of finding matches." Spike rolled his eyes. "Your method of finding a girl involves either her being in distress, her trying to kill you, or you trying to kill her."

"It's not like that!"

"Oh really… name one time when you found a girl not by any of those three methods."

There was a moment of silence as Angel thought. Finally, he said, "Anyway, we still have to find a man willing and able to be Persephone's consort. We have to get a guardian for that Deeper Well."

"Way to change the subject." Spike muttered.

"But… how do modern women find men?" Persephone asked. "In my time, marriages are often arranged by family members."

"Don't worry, we'll find the right guy for you. Let's try the Internet first." Angel suggested.

**XXX**

It was dark in the tunnels as Riley Finn, commando leader of a secret organization dedicated to protecting the world from the unseen supernatural, lurked around. The Initiative's allies, the Slaywarts Academy, asked him to find out what he could about a cyborg, since it was Buffy asking, how can he refuse?

All of a sudden, there was a transmission. "Finn speaking." Riley said as he tapped on his headset.

Sam, his wife was on. "Hello, Finn, have you made progress?"

"No, this place seems to be gutted." Riley paused as he shot a zombie. "Nothing here worth mentioning. What do you need, honey?"

"Oh, I was wondering if you can pick up some sardines, artichokes, peanut butter, and rocky road ice cream as soon as you're done with your mission?"

Riley moaned. "Dear, the transmitter is not a telephone. Can't you have someone get it for you?"

"I know, but I have these cravings to have them blended together."

Riley's face turned green. "All right, maybe we should have the baby scanned for demonic abnormalities."

"Very funny."

"Sir! We found something!" A fellow commando said as he ran up to Riley. "It's a holding bay."

"Excellent." Riley nodded, "Let's go."

**XXX**

Persephone's eyes widened as she gazed at the screen. "This Internet is quite a tool. If the Ancient Romans had something like this, it would have changed everything."

"Oh yeah, the last hundred years, technology really took off." Angel explained as he type on the keyboard. "Let's see… I type the words… men, consort, and warrior."

They waited for a minute and Persephone gasped. "I didn't know that the modern people are into that! To think that even after all this time, you mortals still indulge in those types of activities."

"Uhhh…" Angel tilted his head.

"You know, it's disturbing to see a puppet looking at Internet porn."

The two looked to see Buffy standing there with a very amused look in her eyes. "Buffy!" Angel fumbled with the keyboard before shutting the site down. "I swear, I didn't know it was there."

"Uh huh. So, how's the great husband search going? Find a guardian yet?" Buffy asked as she sat down in a chair.

"Not yet. The men in this era are… reluctant of committing an eternity of servitude to me." Persephone sighed.

"Ah, well, can you maybe help us since you're here? Taking up our time and keeping my boyfriend away from me?" Buffy said.

"I can only help so much. I must dedicate my energies to the Deeper Well." Persephone confessed.

"That's okay, I just need your years of experience." Buffy held out the ring. "Do you know what this is?"

The goddess gasped as she nearly fell from her chair. "Where did you get that! That was the Forbidden Ring of Despair!"

"We won it at a talent contest." Buffy fingered the ring. "So, spill it, what do you know about the ring?"

"Well, it is a sacred ring that Gods have used in rebellions. It was a dangerous weapon that can demystify any being. If that being is composed of magic or relies on magic to live, that being dies. In the last war, the beings you call 'The Powers that Be', made it so the Forbidden Ring of Despair is powerless. Unfortunately, there's a recipe written in the ring that enables any person to reactivate the ring or one that can make the person travel back into time. I don't know which."

"That's stupid. Why put so much power in a tiny ring?" Buffy asked, "And how come you don't know?"

"Give me a break. I don't remember every single little artifact that I come across. It doesn't matter. Only an event of great improbability would cause the ring to reawaken."

"And that would be…"

"I'd rather not say. If I tell you, you might decide to attempt to do it and cause great chaos."

"But, we had done some pretty 'improbable' stuff. For all we know, me and my friends could have done something." Buffy said as she thought of her years since she was called as a Slayer.

"True…" Persephone nodded. "I have heard some pretty strange things happening in this world in the past decade. But, I can't risk it. I know how you mortals think, if someone superior says 'don't do this' you will just go off and try to do it!"

"Oh please! I had never done something the complete opposite of what my 'superiors' said." Buffy huffed.

"Errr…" Angel said as he meekly raised his hand and then dropped it. He will not remind Buffy about the time she 'gone rogue' from the Watcher's Council or the numerous times she snuck out of her mother's house or even those times Buffy and Spike had sex.

"What?" Buffy looked at her boyfriend.

"Never mind."

"Anyway, I just can't tell you guys what the keys are." Persephone nodded as she crossed her arms. She can't fully trust these mortals. They are rebellious; the types who had helped made her type of gods the minors they are today. One of them had killed her guardian and cannot replace him.

"What can we do to have to convince you to trust you? We're looking for your next 'consort' and letting you live in our Academy." Buffy said feeling frustrated. This goddess was a constant distraction to everyone. The rumors that the students whispered, the stares she attracts, and not to mention that she hogs Angel to herself.

Persephone sighed. "You guys were the ones who started the whole mess. I don't want you bothering me so much when I get my new consort. So, when I get my consort, I'll talk."

"Great. So, what are you trying to do?"

"We're looking for a way for Persephone to find a man in a normal modern woman way. Say, Buffy, how do you meet guys?"

"Well… outside of school which Persephone can't really go to. I really don't know. Most of the men in my life involve them saving me, me saving them, me trying to kill them, or them trying to kill me. But, I do know one place you can find a tough guy."

"Really?"

"Yup. A gym."

"A gym?" Angel repeated.

"A gym… oh! One of those training centers made for men who wish to make their bodies stronger. Their muscles would sweat out their glorious fluids and make them shine like Apollo's sun." Persephone moaned as she pictured herself surrounded by sweaty hot men.

"Persephone?" Angel said as he tugged on the goddess' sleeve.

"Oh. Forgive me, I am feeling most repressed. I need to release passion soon."

"Just not on Angel." Buffy warned.

"He is not physically capable of handling my needs."

Angel scowled. "I'm right here."

"It is the truth." Persephone sighed. "Very well, let us go to this gym and meet some men!"

"But, you need to dress first."

**XXX**

"I don't know if I should come with you." Angel said as Persephone teleported to an alley. The goddess was dressed in a white tank top with matching work out pants. In her white purse was the money she needed to pay for any dues and her long brown hair was tied up in a high ponytail.

"You must. I cannot let you out of my sight." The goddess said as she walked up to a gym that read 'Olympus Gym'. "Ah, a gym like this must be one that holds what I need."

Persephone walked into the gym and came up to a woman with blond hair and a very white smile. "Hi, welcome to the Olympus Gym, are you new?"

"Yes, I am. I am here seeking a strong man to be my consort."

"Oh! We got lots of those types of men. What's a consort? Anyway, would you like our trial membership of fifty dollars just for one day?"

"One day… that would be adequate." Persephone reached into her purse and got out fifty dollars. "Here." She walked passed the receptionist and then she felt someone grabbing her shoulder.

"Wait, you can't bring the doll with you. I'm sorry but that's the rules."

Persephone frowned. "He is my replacement consort; I cannot let him out of my sight."

"We'll hold him for you while you're in." The girl promised.

The goddess looked at the girl's nametag. "Helen… very well… I trust you to keep an eye on my consort while I go off to my mission but if he is not here when I return, I shall have my legions of the undead rip you to shreds and send your soul onto Charion's boat!"

Helen gulped as Persephone handed Angel to her. "Don't worry, your doll is safe."

The goddess nodded and moved off into the gym.

**XXX**

Xander did his final pushup as he heard something. He comes to this gym regularly so he could be among normal guys rather than the super strong teenagers he help so often. He had been on a somewhat leave of absence training a difficult slayer. He didn't get a chance to talk to his friends, except for once when Willow warned him about Wesley. There was a funny thing about Angel being forced to marry some goddess but he didn't pay much attention to that.

"Hey, sexy!" A huge brute was cornering a lovely woman who was scowling at him.

"Leave your hands off of me, you brute. Only the man who I will choose shall touch me like you wish to touch me." The woman growled as she put her hands up.

"You are a feisty little thing, aren't you?"

"Do not push me." She whispered as she backed even further into a corner.

Xander got up and walked to the two. The last thing he wanted to see was a pretty girl being hassled by a steroid using jerk. "You heard her, leave her alone." Xander said as he tapped on the guy's shoulder.

"Leave me alone, you wimp!" The jerk lashed at him. Xander dodged the blow and then flipped him over.

"I'm not a wimp."

"Is there a problem?" A security guard asked as he walked towards them.

"This man is bothering me." The woman said as she gestured to the jerk. "Send him away."

"Okay." The guard said as he came up and escorted the jerk away.

"Men like that shouldn't be around." Xander muttered before being hugged by the woman.

"You are most brave despite your slightly smaller size. You showed no fear."

"Oh well…" Xander had to blush. Over muscled men is not a problem to him. He had dealt with demons bigger than him. "I've dealt with worse. Oh, I'm Xander." He pulled away and held out his hand. He liked being hugged by the girl, she smelled like flowers, and she was pretty strong. But, with his luck, she might be a demon in disguise.

"I am Persephone." The goddess accepted his hand. "I wish to know you better." She touched his hand and felt something in him. His strength was that of a normal mortal but he had a strange inner strength that rivals Odysseus.

"Sure, but I have one question. Are you a demon?" Xander asked as he checked a nearby mirror to see Persephone's reflection.

Persephone straightened up. Demons are lower than her. Why do so many mortals mistake her kind as demons? "I am most certainly am not!"

Xander grinned nervously. Persephone was telling the truth, he can sense it. "Sorry, I had to ask. I have this weird tendency to attract the wrong type of girl. You know, the dangerous type."

"I see. I am not the dangerous type. I seek men who are virile and strong, either by physical standards or more mental standards like you. Do you wish to have some coffee?" Persephone had asked Angel about what to ask men and he suggested coffee.

"I don't think this place has coffee but there is a juice bar right over there." Xander pointed to the juice bar.

"That will work."

**XXX**

"Hmmm…" Persephone moaned as she and Xander kissed passionately in the back seat of a car.

"Oh…" Xander gasped as he felt the goddess' skin. "Whoa!"

"Please, release me of these binds and let me loose!" The goddess reached out and placed her hand on the fog filled window.

"No! Wait!" Xander pulled away from her. He could feel every muscle tense. They were having a massive make out session and on the edge of sex but he couldn't do that.

"What is it? Do I not pleasure you?" Persephone glared at him as she fixed her hair.

"Yes, you did. You were very… very good." Xander adjusted his eyepatch. "I… I can't. I just can't."

"Why not?" Persephone asked as she crossed her arms. "Are you with another woman?"

"No, it's just… you're a great woman but I have to treat you with some respect." Xander sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. You are a very attractive man with the cunning of Odysseus. You defy destiny like Icarus. I like that in a man." Persephone said as she smirked at him. "Please, join with me. Become my consort and know the full pleasure of me."

"But… but we just met."

"That does not matter. I need a man like you." Persephone whispered, "You make me feel so good." She hugged him and nibbled at his ear. "My heart pounds at the scent of you. I can feel your potential needed to be released. I am your destiny."

"Uhhh…" Xander shook his head and pulled himself away. "Persephone, are you sure that I am your type? I… have this nasty tendency of attracting the wrong type of people to me. I'm not normal."

"I know that is why I must have you. You are extraordinary. You are normal in body and yet you excelled yourself into something else." Persephone whispered as the scent of flowers become stronger. "You can smell my scent. Only a chosen few can smell that."

"I… I… why don't we just date again. Get to know each other better." Xander reached into his pocket and gave Persephone a card. "Here's my email and cell phone number. What's your number?"

"Oh. Wait." She wrote on a slip of paper and said, "Here is my temporary consort's cell number. You can call me, too. My mind is at ease after I meet you. Thank you, my hopeful guardian."

"Your welcome?" Xander said as Persephone got out of the car. "Wow… I need a cold shower." He glanced at the cell phone number. It looked somewhat familiar but he never had a good head for numbers. "Oh well, I went though my first date without my date trying to eat me in years, how bad could Persephone be?"

**XXX**

"About time you came for me." Angel said as Persephone carried him out of the gym.

"Forgive me. I had found my consort. It is a matter of time before he accepts me."

"That's great! What is he like?" Angel couldn't help but feel excited. Finally, Persephone will have her consort and she will leave him and Buffy alone.

"He… he has the persistence of Jason, the cunning of Odysseus, and the virility of Hercules."

Angel blinked. "Virility of Hercules?"

"He was the one who had sex with a hundred virgins." Persephone shivered. "If only he could complete me."

"Uhhh… does he know that you're a goddess yet?"

"No. He attracts me too much. I do not wish to lose him. He was very hesitant to finish me. He gave me his phone number and email address."

"I see." Angel tried to think of who would it be. "Say, what does he look like?"

"He is quite handsome in an human sort of way. He has a very pretty eye."

Angel nodded and then his jaw dropped. "Eye? He has only one eye?"

"Of course but he is not a cyclops."

Angel pondered. There was only one man that he knew of to have only one eye but he couldn't see him as a consort for a goddess. "Nah… he's not her type."

**XXX**

Xander sighed as he walked into the Academy in a daze. "Xander!"

The man woke up and saw Willow. "Will! I have great news! You would not believe what happened to me."

"You found Darth Wes and how to defeat him?" Willow asked hopefully.

"No. I met a girl and I think she really likes me." Xander said as he grinned broadly. "She's strong, she's beautiful, she smells really good, and best of all, she didn't try to kill me on our first date."

"That's wonderful." Willow hugged her best friend. It was no secret that Xander had been having trouble finding a girl after Anya. It felt like every time he met a girl, she turned out to be a vicious demon wanting to kill him. "So, what is she like?"

"Oh, she's great. She knows a bunch about mythology and all that and she didn't seem to know too much about Star Trek but she's anxious to learn. I think she really likes me too. I was this close to having sex with her. But, I had to be a gentleman. You know how sex is always a bad idea when it comes to people like us."

"Yeah. Does she know about what you.. do?"

"Not yet. I don't want to scare her off." Xander held out his hand.

"That's great. I hope she's a good person. You will not believe all the chaos that's been going on since you last been here. Like with Wesley being Darth Wes." She paused. "On the other hand, no one saw me becoming Dark Willow and tried to end the world." She looked down. "What was I thinking?"

"Relax, you're not evil any more. You're good goddess Willow with complete control over your powers."

"Right now."

"Yup and you will stay that way. I'm going to call her." Xander got out his cell phone and then he dialed the number.

**XXX**

The tune of 'copacana' rang through the air and Angel got out his cell phone. "That's for me." Persephone said as she snatched up the phone. "Hello? Oh! Your distinct ring said it was you! How are you? Are you ready to be my consort yet?"

Xander on the other line smiled hesitantly. "Not quite. We really should work through this one step at a time."

"But… we had started making out. The next logical step is being one with you and then you dedicating your life to me."

"Errr… Persephone, you're a nice girl but relationships like these take time to develop."

"But, I heard that many mortals slept together the first night they meet."

"Yeah, true but I'm not one of those types. I've had friends who had been through hell just because they slept the first chance it got legal. I don't want that to happen to you."

"Awww… that's sweet but I'll be fine and when we join you will feel great."

"Well… true but you don't have a clue about what kind of crazy stuff happens to me."

"I've seen a lot."

Xander sighed. Persephone must know the truth so that she won't get as hurt as the others in his life. "Not as much as me. Look, do you know where the Academy for Gifted Girls in Cleveland is at?"

"Of course. I'm there right now."

"Good now-" Xander stopped. "What?" He sprinted through the hallways until he saw Persephone with Angel in her lap holding a cell phone.

"Hi!" Persephone waved and Angel just slumped his head down. "The fates have been kind to have us meet again like this!"

**XXX**

"No way!" Xander said firmly as he walked away. "I can't marry you! You're… you're way above me. You're a goddess. Literally."

"Why not? You always have a thing for women stronger than you." Persephone moaned. "I need a consort, it's vital that I have one. You're strong, flexible, and you sent a man to hell!"

"Since-" Xander paused when he looked at Angel. "Oh. How did you know that?"

"You send a man to Hell?" Angel asked confused.

"I deal with the paperwork." Persephone said and then Xander rubbed his head.

"Don't tell anyone about this."

"About what?" Angel asked again.

"Nothing." Xander evaded. "Anyway, my history with women isn't stellar. You'll end up hurt or killed."

"But I'm a goddess. Nothing can kill me, except for weapons designed to kill gods. I'm not even a fighting type." Persephone insisted. "Why must mortals be so stubborn about minor facts like dedicating one's existence to a goddess?"

"Because… that's the way we are. Mortals these days like options. We don't like the idea of doing something for the rest of our lives without options."

"Options? But…" Persephone sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll find someone else. Why must men hate me so? I'm beautiful. I'm powerful. And I have eons of experience in the ways of sex. I'm the perfect woman."

"I'm sorry." Xander said feeling like a jerk. He was being hit on by a beautiful goddess who wants him for him and he was pushing her away. "Why do you need a consort anyway? You said it yourself that you're powerful."

"We gods can live for eons but that does not mean that we do not know the meaning of being lonely. My kind needs mortals to talk to, to be intimate with, and to… help us relate to the world around us. After the great massacre, it was so lonely at the cave. The others are so busy with their lives. Demons are okay but humans are the ones we are destined to relate to. There is nothing in this world that could harm a god except for the idea of being alone and forgotten in the world." Persephone sat down looking very sad.

Xander sat down beside her and patted her knee. "Hey, you can come here whenever you want."

"No, I can't." Persephone held on to Angel. "I have to be at my cave and away on other worlds. I have duties as Keeper of the Deeper Well and one of the Administrators of Heaven and Hell. I'm still sorting out that mess caused by this idiot who decided to rip one of our destined warriors out from Heaven and this multidimensional tear caused by another idiot trying to get into another dimension searching for his son. The only reason I'm here is because I need a consort to keep on going."

Angel glanced between the two. He couldn't help but feel guilty for the mess he caused. He had no idea how his killing Droygn would cause this goddess this much pain and suffering. He also didn't know how his antics to find Conner would affect anyone else.

"Can't you just do a trial run?" Xander asked. "You know, keep a mortal for a while and if things don't work out, then you go and find another one?"

"Hmmm… Well, I never had to do anything like this before. Maybe, I should try it out like that." Persephone was getting desperate. She had to get a consort soon so she can start working but no one seems to want to take the plunge. "Can you go for a trial run?"

"What!" Xander nearly fell over. He thought he was safe from the goddess' antics but he was dead wrong.

"Come on. You'll like it once you try it. It is your idea."

"Why me?" Xander got up and paced. "I'm just a carpenter and a watcher. I'm not that special."

"There are many ordinary men in the world but they have special gifts. Some are born to be powerful warriors, others great thinkers, you are destined to be a great lover."

"Me?" Xander yelped. He remembered back in high school how unpopular he was with the ladies except as a friend and the only ones attracted to him were demons and Cordelia.

"Yes, you! Just try it out. How about I become intimate with you for one hour? It you don't like it, I'll find someone else."

"Just an hour?" Xander said. He knew that she had not been deceitful but he didn't want to lose his life to a goddess."

"Just one hour, in this dimension."

"Okay. Fine, but if you don't like it or I don't like it, you find someone else."

"Agreed."

Persephone took Xander's hand and finally put down Angel. "I'll call you when I need you." She said as she picked the human up and a portal opened.

"Finally." Angel said as he got up and walked out of the room.

**XXX**

Xander stumbled into the room where Buffy and the others are waiting. "Xander!" Willow exclaimed as she ran up to him. "Are you okay?"

"I need a cigarette." The human said as he took several deep breaths. His clothes were torn, his hair was a mess, and he smelled like flowers.

"You don't smoke."

"Well… I'll need to start." Xander looked up. "We went to this cave in England and it was a pretty comfortable cave. Really nice and warm. That was one of the most intense hours I ever had." He grinned as he looked at the group who was gawking at him. "I won't say anything else but that hour just flew by."

"Xander, you've been gone all day." Buffy finally said. "In fact, we were getting ready to find and rescue you."

"What?" He looked at his watch as Persephone walked in by a portal. "What did you do to me? You said that we will be gone for one hour."

"I did but you enjoyed it so much that we kept on going." The goddess shrugged.

"Please, you sent me into a different dimension where time travels faster." Xander accused.

"It's not like that. We were in my cave which is on Earth. Check your watch, it can check the date."

Xander tapped on his watch and saw that his watch was the same as the others. "Oh boy. But, I was gone for only an hour."

"Time flies when you're having fun."

"I bet." Xander ran his hand through his hair. "That… I can't believe it but I'm not tired."

"Think of it as exercise. Droygn and I could go on for weeks at a time when I have some free time."

"Weeks!" Angel's eyes bulged even more. "Spike and I only lasted for a few days at the most." Then everyone gawked at him and then Spike. "It's not like that. We were evil."

"Ew." Buffy said as she inched away.

"It was a competition to see who has the most stamina. Lots of vampires do it with their sires or grandsires." Spike tried to explain but Buffy held her hand up.

"Please, I have too much in my brain already. I don't want to think of you with Angel-"

"Angelus." Angel corrected.

"Angelus in any way possible."

"Anyway, what do you think, Xander? Are you in or out?" Persephone asked. "Remember, not only do you get to increase your lifelines by being intimate with me but you get brand new weapons, advanced healing, and your very own army of the undead."

"Army of the undead?"

"Yup."

"I don't want this to be permanent. I have my own duties as a watcher and to my friends." Xander said as he gestured around.

"I can give you the power to teleport here when you need to but your duties will be to me and the Deeper Well first."

"Xander, I think you should do it." Buffy said, "This could be your destiny. Besides, we need a goddess or two on our side."

"I… I need a walk." Xander said as he walked out.

"I thought he enjoyed it." Persephone pouted. "Wasn't I good enough for him?"

"He just needs time to think." Buffy supported. "Xander has bad luck with women. He misses Anya very much."

"I understand. Oh well, I hope he won't take too long. He was very good."

**XXX**

Xander sat at a park at the edge of a lake and watched a group of teenagers run by. He sighed as he remembered the good old days when he was just a normal nerdy teenager with a pair of best friends blissfully ignorant of Sunnydale's darkest secrets. Now, one of them had died as a vamp and the other is a super powerful witch and he had to decide if he wanted to be a consort to a real live goddess.

"Makes you wish you could turn back time."

The guy looked beside him to see Cordelia. "Cordy!"

"Surprise! How's it going? Love the pirate look. Makes you look machoy."

Xander's jaw dropped. "Weren't you dead?"

"I am and now I'm an Elder." Cordelia said as she lifted her hands to the sky.

"Wow, I knew you wanted to be a goddess but I never thought you would end up as one."

"Yup." Cordelia leaned back. "As much as I love Earth, I have to tell you that you gotta make up your mind about this consort thing. Because, there's going to be a major storm coming up and Slaywarts will be right in the eye." The Elder paused as Xander poked his eyepatch and said, "Oh, bad way to say it. Sorry."

"No, that's okay." Xander laughed and then stared at her. "You actually apologized. Wow, you really had changed."

"Better than the Queen C of high school?"

"You were nice."

"Please, I was a bitch and everyone knows it." Cordelia sighed, "Anyway, back to the subject. You must listen to your heart and actually go with your instincts."

"But… I don't want to…"

"Betray Anya? In case you didn't know but she's dead, finito, not coming back and don't even try to have Willow do anything either. She's trying to redeem herself for all the vengeance demon stuff she did over the past thousand years."

"Oh." Xander bowed his head. "Is she suffering?"

"Redemption is all about suffering, ask Angel some time."

"I don't want to make the wrong decision. The last time I made a decision this big… Anya raised hell."

"Yeah but you can have more than one 'soulmate'. Trust me on this. You just have to go with your gut. You're great at that. I better go. Elder duties."

"Wait!" Xander stood up. "What's it like in Heaven?"

"Kinda hard to say unless you've been there before." Cordelia replied and then she vanished in an orb of lights leaving Xander alone.

**XXX**

"Now, how does this go again?" Persephone asked as she fiddled with the controls.

"You attack the gorilla with the giant barrels." Illyria answered as she helped. "The gorilla is most annoying."

"I just don't understand the logic of this. What would a plumber be doing attacking gorillas with giant barrels?" Persephone said as she pressed the buttons again.

"I do not know."

"I'm back." Xander said as he walked back into the lobby. "Persephone, I… I thought about it a lot and okay, I'll be your consort."

Persephone's eyes lit up literally as she squealed and picked up Xander. "You have no idea how happy I am!" She screamed as she swung him around.

"So, what do I have to do? Is there a ceremony?"

"No. Not really. We just complete each other, I bind you to the cave… and give you the power you want." Persephone opened a portal and was about to carry Xander out when Buffy called out.

"Wait! What about the ring?"

"The ring? Oh!" Persephone turned around and smiled. "You have nothing to worry about. You see, the ring is bound to another artifact, the Gem of Amara."

"It's connected to that!" Spike yelped.

"You know of the gem?"

"I… ran into it a couple of times." Spike shrugged as he and the others remembered the ring.

"Well, only if the Gem of Amara was shattered by a vampire at sunset would the ring reactivate and that vampire must know what the Gem of Amara is. Only an idiot would do something like that."

Angel fidgeted from his chair as everyone looked at him and then sheepishly raised his hand.

"You didn't." Spike growled.

"He did." Buffy sighed.

"But… this is the Ring of Amara! The Holy Grail for vampires and you went off and destroyed it!" Spike ranted.

"Well, I didn't want any evil vampires to get it! Like the vampire who was torturing me for that info!"

"Oh well… that makes sense." The vampire shrugged.

"I do not believe this." Persephone said, "You mortals caused chaos and destruction wherever you go. I never met a more difficult band of mortals. How can you cause so much chaos in such short time?"

Buffy thought and replied, "It's a hobby."

**XXX**

Wesley smiled to himself as he finished the ingredients. He was not like the past villains that did something stupid like blab their plans out to others or attract attention by randomly killing people. He chanted a spell and gradually a gun formed. It looked like any other small handgun but it had runes all over it.

The cyborg picked up the gun and loaded it with glowing bullets.

"Time to start hunting."

To Be Continued…


End file.
